Ziva David quotes from NCIS

McGee

We're trying to make a connection between Jennings and his killer.

Ziva

Brandon Sykes. But we hit a dead end.

Tony

No pun intended?

Ziva

Actually, it was.

Tony

Well, in that case, nicely done.

Tony

It's like I said, it's always the maid.

Ziva

No. You have said it is always the janitor, or the butler, or anyone assigned to work in Abby's lab, but you have never once said maid.

Tony

Anyone ever tell you that your memory can be a real buzz kill?

Tony

Who do you think she's working for? Chinese? Russians?

Ziva

Cubans. After all, she is Cuban.

Tony

That's way too obvious. Haven't I taught you anything?

Tony

Melinda. [looks into his little black book, then prevents Ziva from taking it]

Ziva

How many Melinda's do you have in that thing?

Tony

It could be the girl I talk to at the gym.

Ziva

You don't go to the gym.

Tony

Well maybe it was the girl I talked to at the dog park.

McGee

You don't have a dog.

Tony

Oh, it could have been that girl I met at the concession stand while my date was in the bathroom.

Ziva

You need a secretary.

McGee

Or a therapist.

Gibbs

Or both.

Ziva

Beretta's, 9mm?

Feel free.

Ziva

Do you mind?

Not at all, ma'am. Do your best.

Tony

[sighs] Oh, God.

Stand by at station two for live fire.

Ziva

[fires once and clears the round] I prefer the Sig.

A lot of women have trouble with the Beretta. Think it has too much of a kick.

Ziva

Your sight is a few millimeters off.

Really?

Tony

[shows Medina the target with a bullet hole in the head] Really.

Ziva

Sit down

I ain't sittin' down.

Ziva

Sientate! Or do you want la bonita to sit your ass down?

Ziva

Pecados Capitales

Tony

"Capital Fish".

Ziva

"Deadly sins", you idiot. Fish is pescado.

Tony

Don't scoff at me. Lots of gangs are named after deadly fish. There's the Sharks. There's the Barracudas, Rumble Fish...

Ziva

There is a smurf war...

Tony

Turf war!

McGee

Who would want to impersonate Tony?

Ziva

Perhaps Jack Nicholson? You know, impersonation revenge?

McGee

So Tony is in charge again.

Ziva

Yes.

McGee

How do you feel about it?

Ziva

Tony is a competent, capable investigator and a good leader. You do not agree?

McGee

Yeah, I agree, it's just that he's kind of irritating when he's not the boss. When he is, he walks around with that peacock strut and that smirk. It's like -- he's behind me, isn't he?

Tony

Smirking.

Gibbs

He got scared. He found out his partner was going to meet with the agent from the original case. It wasn't DiNozzo but the killer didn't know that. If I'm him I'm wondering why my buddy is meeting with a federal agent. Hmmm. Maybe he's going to flip on me. He can't if he's dead. There's our motive we just need our killer.

Tony

May of just found him. Abby just matched a print from Renny's hotel room to one of his former coworkers. A Commander Carl Davis. Gear Up. (Ziva and McGee stare at Gibbs blankly)

Gibbs

What?

McGee

We've just never heard you say that much at one time.

Ziva

Or in a week.

Gibbs

Wasn't my job before. Come on.

McGee

Who would want to impersonate Tony?

Ziva

Perhaps Jack Nicholson? You know, impersonation revenge?

McGee

Or its a frame up.

Ziva

Jean Benoit?

McGee

Overseas, Maybe it was Trent Kort.

Ziva

Are you detecting a trend here?

McGee

Tony does have a way with people.

Tony

A law firm in London wants me to call them. Says it's important.

Ziva

What could they want?

Tony

I don't know. Maybe it's about my Uncle Clive. You remember that funeral I went to last month?

Ziva

Your uncle really died? I thought you were making that up to get some time off.

Ziva

You're counting your eggs before they're laid.

Tony

Operative word is 'laid'.

Ziva

You are counting your eggs before they are laid.

Tony

Operative word is 'laid'.

Vance

Whaddaya say David? Wanna go a few rounds?

Ziva

I think that would violate my primary assignment.

Vance

Only if you manage to lay a glove on me.

Excuse me, darling, but this gym ain't co-ed.

Ziva

Another time.

Vance

Just say when.