Ziva[walks in, smiling and carries a coffee to McGee's desk] For the one you got me last week.
Ziva
[leans in to see what he's looking at on screen and gasps] That is quite a kiss, McGee!
[grins] Not bad for a wallpaper, huh?
Ziva
[chuckles] Well, you seem to be enjoying yourself. [muses] I have never seen a tongue quite so... long.
[walks in, looking at them curiously] McGee has a long tongue?
Ziva
No, but the cutie-pie he's kissing does.
Ziva
This is McGee's private photograph. And if he does not want you to see it here, then you have to respect his wishes. Or... [hits a key to bring it up on the squadroom plasma screen] ...see it elsewhere.
[The picture turns out to be a very sweet one of McGee kneeling next to the dog Jethro, who is licking his face.]
[laughs] Oh, McRomeo... you should save that stuff for the bedroom.
Jealous? I don't think so. What you're doing there could be illegal in some states.
[Tony and Nikki make video contact with Abby's lab from Baghdad.]
I didn't know you two were sharing a room.
Ziva
They're sharing a room?
We're not exactly sharing a room.
Ziva
(whispering furiously) Either they are sharing a room, or not sharing a room, I do not see what is so exact or not exact about it!
[She pastes a fake smile on her face and turns back to the screen.]
Ziva
I'm checking into Locke's missing girlfriend. You?
Ziva
What? Why?
[...]
Checking her medical records.
Ziva
Why? Do you think she's been lying in some hospital unable to communicate?
No, I think she's been lying in a shallow grave unable to communicate.
Ziva
Medical records are privileged information. You need a subpoena.
Not if you have an IOU from a county clerk with a very expressive poker face.
Ziva
Look. If you're going to give me a lecture on my bad judgment, I don't need to hear it.
Is that what this is about? You doubting your judgment?
Ziva
I should've moved earlier.
You would've if you could've.
Ziva
I left it too late.
Ziva
I almost died.
But you didn't. You've got to trust your judgment, Ziva. Moment you don't, it won't be "almost."
[McGee and Ziva are playing Scrabble]
Hey, what's going on here? Did I get off on the wrong floor, I thought this was an office.
Officer David and I are engaged in a linguistic developmental exercise intended to bolster her English vocabulary.
[chuckles] That's good. Do you think Gibbs will buy it?
Ziva
It is not my vocabulary that needs bolsterment, McGee.
Not a word. Hence the scoreboard.
[chuckles] Yeah, 50-point cushion for the professor. And there's only one tile left to play.
[smiles] Gonna be kind of tough to play that 'q' without a 'u'.
Ziva
You peeked!
Did not. Process of elimination, I counted the tiles on the board.
You suck the fun out of everything, McCheat. [Ziva suddenly looks in thought] Give it up, Ziva.
[Ziva takes her Q tile and plays it in front of an I.]
[frowns and stares at the board] "Kwee"? I don't think so.
Ziva
[smiles] Chi. As in life energy that flows through all things.
You should have seen that one coming, Probie Wan Kenobi.
Ziva
[laughs] Sixty-two points!!!
[walking in] You all are! Grab your gear. Playtime's over.
[McGee panics, opening Ziva's drawer and dumping the tiles and board in, haphazardly sweeping the ones on desk to the floor as she gives him an odd look and the team gets ready to go.]
Uhh... that was a, uh, language exercise we weren't actually playing.
So he didn't actually lose.
So he wasn't actually humiliated.
[Ziva and Tony look at each other and chuckle on their way out.]
[hurries after them, muttering] "Kwee"....
[Ziva is confusing Tony as they talk at the crime scene.]
We've gotta figure out what he was doing here.
Ziva
And with whom he was doing it.
Ziva
Whatever it was he was doing when he was undone.
[confused look] Done... what?
Ziva
Done!
In, my dear fellow. Done in. Don't you understand the Queen's English?
Ziva
We could have made it.
The needle is below E, E stands for empty, we have less than empty, and we don't even know where it is!
Ziva
We could have made it.
ZTZiva and Tony
[at same time] What!
slightly annoyed, gets out of the car and starts pumping gas Why don't you make yourself useful?
Ziva
What?
I said, why don't you make yourself useful?
Ziva
What do you want me to do? Hold your nozzle?
Get us a map [Ziva makes a face, gets out of the car and starts walking to the store] ...And some white powder doughnuts and the blue ice gatorade. [she pauses, smacks her ass and keeps walking without turning around.]
NCIS · 1,787 quotes
