Leroy Jethro Gibbs quotes from NCIS

Gibbs

What've you got?

Abby

A better question is what have you not got Abbs, and the better answer would be a Caf-Pow! I'm trying to make my own here, but I'm missing like 400 ingredients.

Gibbs

Are you all right?

Abby

No, I'm not okay! I'm not going to be okay until the power comes back on and I can run diagnostics on one of my babies. These aren't like light bulbs, Gibbs. You can't turn them on and off, and they're complex pieces of machinery that requires precise shutdown sequences. I don't understand! I mean, why does autopsy get backup power and I don't? I mean, MTAC, I get that, but what does Ducky have that I don't have?

Gibbs

Corpses.

Abby

I'll get some corpses!

[about his murdered wife] There's a lot of things I never knew about Emma, but one thing's for certain: she was a fighter. Stubborn as hell.

Gibbs

Yeah, I've been there.

Emma had to do it, right? She didn't have a choice.

Gibbs

No, she had a choice. That's what makes her a hero.

Abby

What can I do for you, Gibblet? Sorry, kind of a seasonal play on your -- I'm ready, sir.

Gibbs

[hands over a phone] Turn this into pictures.

Abby

I thought you were going to give me something hard! So, what are you bringing to Ducky's dinner?

Gibbs

Not sure I'm going.

Abby

What do you mean you're not going?! Who's going to carve the turkey? Who's going to watch the game with me? Who's going to eat too much pie?!

We sold battle scenarios to game designers in China! They paid a lot.

Ziva

You and your sister Debra?

Yes. Debra made contacts through her trips to Asia for her firm.

Gibbs

C Ten Dynamics?

We took some of the money, Debra and I, the rest we gave to families! Stattler made a ton of money off those kids, never gave anything back! It was old information! Useless!

Ziva

Frequency jamming signals.

For Balistic Winter. That system was being phased out.

Gibbs

It's still classified.

Technically, but --

Ziva

Which makes it technically treason.

Gibbs

Let her go.

[sees Gibbs, Ziva and Tony with their pistols pointed at him] Back off! I'll kill her!

Gibbs

Angela, look at me.

Move back! Now!

Gibbs

Ziva?

Ziva

Got it.

She'll miss.

Gibbs

What's the probability of that?

Based on the temperature and humidity, no wind, half moon, good light, 97.6%.

Gibbs

Last chance, Norvell.

Move or I'll do it.

Gibbs

[to Ziva] Take it. (She does - and gets the head shot she was aiming for)

Gibbs

DiNozzo, you're with me.

Tony

Satler Institute? Oh, Boss, shouldn't McSmarty Pants go to the nerd theme park?!

Ziva

These chocolates are delicious!

Gibbs

Hey, dad. Stop making my team fat.

Ziva

Gibbs, why didn't you tell us your father was coming?

Gibbs

I didn't think he'd actually show. Go ahead, have another one, bubble butt.

Tony

It's my metabolism slowing with age. It's nothing a post-holiday cleanse won't cure.

Tony

Boss, I've been running bank records on each Marine in Ellis' unit. So far only two Marines, including First Sergeant Tibbins, accepted a bribe: four grand a piece.

Gibbs

Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas.

Ziva

All the money was drawn from the same overseas account and deposited around the same time.

Gibbs

It's a dummy corp.

Tony

Interpol's checking into it.

Gibbs

Tell them to check faster.

Tony

You do it. Not you, boss. You! I mean, how many languages do you speak, anyway?

Ziva

Including the language of love, ten.

Gibbs

The military experiments with jetpacks?

Tony

No... well, yeah, they did, but... [sighs] "After years of testing various designs, ultimately they decided helicopters were more practical for earth-atmosphere flight..."

Ziva

"Although NASA's compressed gas-powered Man-Maneuvering Unit evolved from Bell Systems's rocket belt technology..."

Tony

"'Rocket belt' being the original terminology rather than the more colloquial 'jetpack... '"

Ziva

McGee's very passionate about the subject. We spend a lot of time here, just the three of us.

Tony

I was telling him about the bonus features section on the "Thunderball" DVD, which were pretty interesting, and he says, "um, Tony, bonus features aren't science", and so he...

Gibbs

He schooled you.

Ziva

Yep.

Ziva

Okay, so how many amendments to the Constitution?

Gibbs

The Bill of Rights is the first ten, prohibition is eighteen. I'm guessing twenty-three.

Ziva

Twenty-seven!

Gibbs

Nobody likes a smartass, David.

Ziva

Why do I have to study all this and you don't?!

Gibbs

I was born here!

Tony

It's not as bad as it looks. It's actually an ancient form of meditation, it's a good thing.

Agent Gibbs, have you had breakfast?

Gibbs

(takes Tony's hat) Party's over. (hits Tony on the head with the hat several times)

Tony

Ow, ow,ow,ow,ow!

Gibbs

Explain!

What's on your mind?

Gibbs

Your son.

What's junior done now?

Gibbs

Tony likes to hide behind the face of a clown, but he's the best young agent I've ever worked with.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Gibbs

When was the last time you talked to him? I mean really talked to him.

We keep in touch.

Gibbs

Four years ago your son came very close to dying from pneumonic plague. I expected to see you. You didn't show then. Why are you here now?

He never told me he was sick.

Gibbs

Oh, so you don't keep in touch.

What's your point?

Gibbs

Tony inherited his personality from you, but I get the feeling there's a lot about your life you don't share.

Tony

I have to break one of your rules, boss. Number six: never say you're sorry. I let things get out of control in the hotel room.

Gibbs

Ah, it's covered. Rule eighteen.

Tony

Oh, yeah. It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. Am I forgiven?

Gibbs

No. You've been distracted by your father.

Tony

It's that obvious?

Gibbs

McGee, you're with me.

McGee

Where we going?

Gibbs

To go look for the bomb.

Tony

Don't make me say it, McGee.

McGee

We'll be careful, Tony.

Gibbs

Get Ziva and DiNozzo out of bed.

McGee

What?!

Gibbs

Wake 'em up.

McGee

Oh. Oh, right. Get them out of bed because it's the middle of the night and they're asleep.

Gibbs

[looks at McGee like he's gone mad] Yes.

McGee

Individual beds. Get them out of individual beds. I was confused. I thought we were talking --

Gibbs

Need some sleep yourself, do you, McGee?