Leroy Jethro Gibbs quotes from NCIS

McGee

Something wrong, boss?

Gibbs

Just admiring your feminine glow.

Gibbs

[Tony has recovered three guns at the lake] You expecting an "attaboy?"

Tony

I... thought it'd be nice.

Gibbs

[lightly stroking the back of his head] Attaboy.

Cesar Bernal

(mockingly) Semper Fi.

Gibbs

Goodbye, Cesar.

Tony

You're deep moisturizing to bring out your "feminine glow".

McGee

I had dry skin, ok? My doctor recommended it.

Tony

[laughs mockingly] Haha! Well, you're walking a slippery slope there, Probelicious. Before you know it, you'll be taking bubble baths with your clogs on. [Ziva laughs quietly]

McGee

What is wrong with bubble baths?

Gibbs

[walks in and barks at the team before Tony has a chance to reply McGee] Load up!

Gibbs

Two kids found the First Sergeant floating under 6 inches of ice.

Tony

Ice? That means...

Ziva

You're now going to make a really juvenile cold case joke?

Tony

It was a really good one too.

McGee

Something wrong, boss?

Gibbs

Just admiring your feminine glow. [Ziva snickers]

McGee

What Tony was saying about me before, you know. Do I come off as unmanly?

Ziva

[looks at him in surprise] I think Tony was jerking your brain.

McGee

Chain? Jerking my chain?

Ziva

Whatever. I think you're appropriately masculine.

Ziva

[pauses] However, perhaps not macho. [McGee stops and looks at her] Tony and Gibbs are, uh, "tough guys". Yes, they're...

McGee

So I'm not tough.

Gibbs

[walks in] You have to ask.

Ziva

Downing was on a revenge mission.

Gibbs

First Sergeants don't go on revenge missions, Officer David.

Ziva

I would. Why not a Marine First Sergeant?

Gibbs

They have more control than you do.

Tony

Is that man lotion working for you Probie?

McGee

Didn't shave today. Trying a new look.

Tony

When you say "today", you mean the last couple of minutes or... [examines McGee's face]

McGee

Abby seems to like it.

Tony

Like what?

Ziva

Looks nice, McGee. It's very manly.

Tony

May I? [touches McGee's chin]

Gibbs

DiNozzo.

Tony

[realizes Gibbs is behind him] Hey Boss.

Gibbs

Why are you touching his face?

Tony

[continues feeling McGee's chin] I don't know, it feels good though. It's like a bunny rabbit.

Gibbs

Don't!

Gibbs

McGee, you're trying too hard. [hands him a bottle of shaving cream]

Gibbs

How was the flight, Lance Corporal?

It was, um… long, sir. How much trouble am I in?

Gibbs

Trouble? Why would you say that?

Four NCIS agents escorting one lance corporal?

Tony

You got it all wrong, Marine. She's Mossad.

Gibbs

I hope you slept on the plane, Lance Corporal.

Tony

Yeah, it's gonna be a long night. You want to get the cash first, or the Iraqi weapons?

Ziva

[steps on the gas pedal of the car and flooring it] Not scaring you, am I?

McGee

I'm fine.

I don't know what you're talking about, sir.

Tony

Really? 'Cause you were on leave with First Sergeant Downing, and you were with PFC Reggio the night he was killed in the drive-by shooting.

I can't help a coincidence.

Ziva

A coincidence, Lance Corporal? Five dead bodies, you're our only link.

Gibbs

Your company, your fellow Marines are stuck in Iraq until we solve this case.

You don't think I know that, sir?

Tony

He knows. He just doesn't care.

Gibbs

Hey, Silva, you know what? We have names for guys like you when I was on active duty. A Bravo Foxtrot. It's an explicit term for a sexual…

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this!

Gibbs

Like what? [Ziva floors the car; punching it]

If a drive-by killing isn’t solved right away, the cops forget about it. NCIS forgot about it! Private Reggio was my best friend. He died in my arms. I couldn't just let that go, sir.

Tony

So you decided to turn a quick buck?

No. I called Sosa to meet… but… but not to sell him any weapons. I wanted blood.

Gibbs

And your First Sergeant found out about it.

I don't know how… but he did. He yanked my leave and restricted me to base.

Gibbs

Then he went to the meeting in your place.

He didn't go down there to kill anyone, sir. He went down there to make peace. To end it. He didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. If I could, I'd switch places with him. I would.

Gibbs

Yeah. Yeah, I think you would, Lance Corporal.

Tony

(looking at McGee who is sleeping) Got any superglue, Abs?

Gibbs

What did I tell you about that. DiNozzo?

Tony

The skin might not grow back.

Gibbs

Looks like they're putting decoder rings in cereal boxes again. [the team just stares at him] ...What?

Tony

Uh... little before our time, boss.

McGee

Sounds like a bloodbath.

Tony

Mondays. How many bodies we talkin' about here?

Gibbs

Who said anything about a body, DiNozzo?

Gibbs

Someone was dissected here, Duck?

Ducky

More like three someones.

Gibbs

Why didn't you come to me Abby?

Abby

Because Gibbs, I wanted him restrained. Not beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat.

Gibbs

Coordinate with Abby.

McGee

Boss, you're gonna have to try and get her out of the elevator first.

Abby

Hey Gibbs. [elevator closes] Did you know that only 5 of the 2½ million deaths each year occur in elevators?

Gibbs

Nobody is going to hurt you, Abby.

Abby

You're just saying that to make me feel better.

Gibbs

Did it?

Abby

Yeah, can you say it again?

Gibbs

Nobody's gonna hurt you, Abs.