Twilight quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Twilight

Pinkie, what have you done?!

I've lost a brand-new pair of cymbals, that’s what I’ve done!

Twilight

Will you forget about your silly instruments for one second?! You’re ruining our efforts to save Ponyville!

Me?!! Ruin?!! I'm not the ruiner! I'm the ruin-ee!...Or is it "ruin-ess"?..."Ruin-ette"?

Applejack

Come on, girls, there’s no reasonin’ with that one. She’s a few apples short of a bushel. [They leave Pinkie behind]

[crying out] Hey! I’m trying to tell you all that the ruining is on the other hoof...if you’d just slow down and LISTEN TO ME!!!

Hey! What happened to the princess?

Twilight

Emergency in Fillydelphia...

Rainbow Dash

Some sort of... infestation.

Oh no! Have they got parasprites too? Well... have tuba, will travel!

Twilight

I think the princess can handle it...

Spike

Well, you're good at a lot of things... Just not nest making, ice skating, animal waking, snow clearing...

Twilight

[sarcastically] Oh, thanks a lot for making me feel sooo much better.

Spike

That's what I'm here for, sister.

Applejack

Nuts Twilight, you used magic.

Spike

The nerve. Can you believe her?

Applejack

That's not how we do it 'round here, Twilight, and especially not on MAH farm.

Twilight

Well, see, I just wanted to... oh.

Applejack

But... have you ever run a race?

Twilight

Well, no. But I do know a lot about running.

Rainbow Dash

And you know this from...

Twilight

Books. I read several on the subject.

Rainbow Dash

What did you read... the Egghead's Guide to Running? Did you stretch up your... eye muscles to warm up? [laughs] Get it? "Eye muscles"?!

[sobbing] LEAVE ME ALONE! I want to be alone! I want to wallow in... whatever it is that ponies are supposed to wallow in! Do ponies wallow in pity? Oh, listen to me! I don't even know what I'm supposed to wallow in! I'M SO PATHETIIIC!

Twilight

Now what do we do?

Fluttershy

Uh, panic?

Rainbow Dash

That's your answer for everything!

Applejack

Well we can't just leave Rarity like this!

She'll become a crazy cat lady!

Twilight

[deadpan] She only has one cat.

Give her time...

Twilight

Pinkie, what in the wide-wide-world of Equestria are you up to?

It's my tail! It's my tail! It's a-twitchin' twitchin'! And you know what that means...

Twilight

Actually, Pinkie, I haven't the slightest idea.

The twitching means my Pinkie Sense is telling me stuff is gonna start falling. You two better duck for cover!

Twilight

Oh, Pinkie, it's not gonna rain! There's barely even a cloud in the-

He just said "Nice Catch" in frog.

Twilight

Okay, take this down... [watches Pinkie Pie's through binoculars attached to her wheelchair] Twitchy ... tail.

Spike

[writing] Twitchy tail ... huh?! [screaming] Twitchy Tail!!

Twilight

Hush Spike, we can't let Pinkie know we're here, remember?

Spike

Something's gonna fall! Something's gonna fall! Run for your lives! Ahahahaaaah! [runs off]

Twilight

[angered] Ahh Spike, honestly, you're overreacti-

Twilight

"Ghosts, Goblins, and Ghoulish Figures"? Good heavens, girls, what do you need a book like this for?

Scootaloo

You'll see, thanks Twilight! We'll give it back as soon as we're done with it.

Twilight

What do you think they're up to?

Spike

I have no idea, and I don't know if I should be excited or scared to find out.

Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean that I cannot handle myself in a sticky situation. I had them wrapped around my hoof the entire time.

Twilight

I can't wait to write to Princess Celestia to tell her what you taught me today.

Me? What did I teach you?

Twilight

Just because some pony is ladylike doesn't make her weak. In fact, by using her wits a seemingly defenseless pony can be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all.

Spike

I'm gonna tell you two a secret. But you have to promise not to tell anyone.

Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.

Spike

Closer... closer...

Spike

[Confessing tone] I have a crush on Rarity!

[gasps] We won't say a word!

Twilight

Gimme a break, everypony already knows how you-

Twilight! You promised Spike you wouldn't say anything. He trusts you; and losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend forever!

Twilight

But..

Forever!

Twilight

[explaining a plan to Pinkie] On her own, Fluttershy could never do something unattractive, but if I use my magic to make her do something unattractive, Photo Finish wouldn't want her to model anymore, then Rarity wouldn't be so jealous; and I'll no longer have to keep both of their secrets! You have to promise not to tell anyone. Please?

Twilight

[confused] ...So, you do promise, or you don't promise?

Uh, yes! [repeating the motions] Obviously, that's why I zipped my mouth closed, then locked it with a key, then dug a hole, then buried the key, built a house on top of the hole where I buried the key, and moved into the house built on top of the hole!

Twilight

[deadpan] ...Obviously.

Rainbow Dash

When we get to Appleloosa, do you think we'll have to carry that heavy tree all the way from the train to the orchard?

What tree? You mean Bloomberg?

Rainbow Dash

[sarcastically] No, Fluttershy.

Fluttershy's not a tree, silly!

Twilight

What's going on?

Rainbow Dash thinks Fluttershy's a tree!

Rainbow Dash

I do not think she's a tree! I was just-

Twilight

Did you say she was a tree?

Rainbow Dash

No! Well, yes. But not exactly-

Twilight

You know she's not a tree, right?

She's not a tree, Dashie!

Fluttershy

[softly] I'd like to be a tree!

Spike

Oh, for Pete's sake! [storms off]

Twilight

Well, that was kind of huffy!

Fluttershy

Huffy the Magic Dragon!

Twilight

You have no idea what the Princess is gonna do when she finds out you're the one who took her pet, do you?!

Fluttershy

Do you?

Twilight

Well, no. But it can't be anything good! She might banish you from Equestria, or throw you in a dungeon. Or banish you and then throw you in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to!

Twilight

Aww! he's worked himself to the bone!

And now the punch has been... Spiked!