Mean Twilight Sparkle quotes from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Twilight Sparkle

Cadance and I can spend the whole day looking at Star Swirl the Bearded artifacts!

Sounds like a perfect, drama-free way to spend the day with Cadance.

Twilight Sparkle

Not counting the drama surrounding which of the bells from his cloak they've chosen to put on display! Spoiler alert: It's this one!

Fluttershy

Now, now, he’s learned his lesson. Isn’t that right, my little patient?

Discord

I’m so glad that you’re back from your trip, Fluttershy. Just your presence here is making me feel so much better.

Discord

[to Twilight] I was just wondering. Could I trouble you for just one more thing?

Twilight Sparkle

[exasperated] NO!

Discord

What? I was simply going to ask...for a teeny tiny glass...of water. [grins deviously as the episode ends]

Pinkie Pie

So are you in, Cheese? Or are you... boneless?

Nopony calls me "boneless"! [to his rubber chicken] Right, Boneless?

Pinkie Pie

Then the goof-off is on for high noon!

Twilight Sparkle

Um, Pinkie? It's already 3 o'clock.

Pinkie Pie

Oh. Oh, well then. Make it 3:10 to goof-off!

Rainbow Dash

So, uh, I've always kinda wondered what it would be like to be a griffon.

Twilight Sparkle

Not a chance.

Rainbow Dash

You sure? What about a dragon? No? It doesn't have to shoot fire!

Maud Pie

[to Twilight Sparkle] I prefer to read my own poetry.

Twilight Sparkle

Oooh, I'd love to hear some of it.

Maud Pie

[clears throat] "Rock, you are a rock. Grey, you are grey. Like a rock, which you are, rock." I've written thousands.

Pinkie Pie

She's so prolific!

Maud Pie

This next one is about rocks. They're all about rocks. "Rocks, these are my rocks. Sediments make me sentimental. Smooth and round, asleep in the ground. Shades of brown, and grey..."

Twilight Sparkle

It's a test! A test that will determine if you can join the newly-formed Wonderbolts Reserves, and being part of the Reserves means you'll have the opportunity to live your dream as a Wonderbolt! This is the most important test of your life!

Rainbow Dash

Twilight, not everypony gets all freaked out about tests like you.

Twilight Sparkle

I do not get "all freaked out" about tests!

Rainbow Dash

Seriously? Your freakouts are so epic, you sing whole freakout arias about freaking out!

Twilight Sparkle

Fine, I may tend to take my tests a little seriously, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be studying for yours!

Twilight Sparkle

Reading and highlighting is the foundation of any good study method. It allows the student to hone in and boil down on what's really important, separating the good from the bad, the wheat from the chaff, getting to the crux of things. Let's see what you've got so far.

Twilight Sparkle

Hm, by highlighting everything you don't really separate the wheat from the chaff... Or the good from the bad. Hey, I am not that tall!

Rainbow Dash

[giggles]

Twilight Sparkle

Yes, Rainbow?

Rainbow Dash

Is it snack time?

Twilight Sparkle

No.

Rainbow Dash

Recess?

Twilight Sparkle

No.

Rainbow Dash

[sighs] Can't we just watch the history of the Wonderbolts movie?!

Twilight Sparkle

No!

Twilight Sparkle

The initials EUP stand for what?

Rainbow Dash

Ernie's Undercooked Pancakes.

Twilight Sparkle

The original aerial team performed for...?

Rainbow Dash

Celestia's cereal celebration.

Twilight Sparkle

The Wonderbolts were given their name by this famous Pegasus. Who is she? [to herself] Please don't say Colonel Waffle...

Rainbow Dash

Hello? General Blazing Donut Glaze! So, did I ace it or what?

Twilight Sparkle

Or what. You didn't get one answer correct.

Rainbow Dash

What? But- but how?

Twilight Sparkle

I don't know. I've never heard answers so wrong! And so breakfast-related!

Rainbow Dash

[stomach growls]

Rainbow Dash

I'm gonna fail! I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna fail! And it's all your fault!

Twilight Sparkle

My fault?! I'm the one helping you!

Rainbow Dash

Maybe your famous study methods aren't all they're cracked up to be, eh, teacher?!

Twilight Sparkle

Excuse me, I've used them to study for many a-test, and passed!

Rainbow Dash

Yeah, right.

Twilight Sparkle

Do you know the name of the Wonderbolts' premiere choreographer?

Rainbow Dash

Well...

Twilight Sparkle

Commander Easyglider! Do you know how many Pegasi flew in the original squad? Seven! Do you know Princess Celestia's favorite flight pattern?! The Icaranean Sun Salutation! See? I could pass the test!

Rainbow Dash

Fine! Rub it in, why don't ya? Besides, I don't see why I have to take this lousy test anyway. I've proven I'm one of the best flyers around.

Twilight Sparkle

Knowing their origin and being able to properly represent them for all of Equestria is just as important!

Rainbow Dash

Yeah, right. Some history buff like you must have made that up to bring us flyers down!

Twilight Sparkle

Knowing history actually is beneficial, Rainbow!

Rainbow Dash

Beneficial for eggheads!

Fluttershy

(watching from below) Girls...?

Twilight Sparkle

Well, this egghead knows history and can fly! Maybe I should become a Wonderbolt!

Rainbow Dash

Just 'cause you got wings, doesn't mean you can fly!

Fluttershy

Girls!?

Twilight Sparkle

You're barely able to just get off the ground!

Fluttershy

GIRLS! STOP! Now, is that any way to talk to a friend?

Twilight Sparkle

Sorry.

Rainbow Dash

Yeah, sorry.

Pinkie Pie

STOP!! What are you doing?

Twilight Sparkle

I was trying to get rid of all the books I don’t need anymore.

Pinkie Pie

For that? Do you reeeeeeeally want that?

Twilight Sparkle

Well, not really, but…I’m running out of library space, so—

Pinkie Pie

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!! I can’t believe that almost happened! But luckily it didn’t happen, thanks to me.

Twilight Sparkle

What are you talking about?

Pinkie Pie

[showing a scroll] According to the rules of the Exchange, a trade is only fair if both ponies end up with something they want.

Pinkie Pie

You can’t break the rules!! Did anypony see you do it? I don’t think anypony saw. But you are not gonna say anything, are you?! [giggles] Just kidding! [mischievously] Or am I?! Sometimes I can’t even tell.

Applejack

As in, "Discord" Discord?

Twilight Sparkle

Yes!

Fluttershy

I don't think it’s that big of a surprise. He can be very helpful.

Twilight Sparkle

He can sense when there’s a magical imbalance. The next time Tirek steals magic, Discord will be able to track him down.

Rainbow Dash

So what are you supposed to do in the meantime?

Twilight Sparkle

(sighs) Nothing. Unless of course, one of you needs me to smile and wave.

Twilight Sparkle

I think I found something! I've been reading our journal, and there's something interesting about the sections Discord bookmarked. Applejack, do you remember when you had to tell everypony that the tonic Granny bought from the Flim Flam brothers didn't really work?

Applejack

How could I forget? It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

Applejack

And in that moment, I knew I had to be honest, I just knew it. But what's that got to do with openin' the chest?

Twilight Sparkle

I've found that each of you has had to face a situation where living up to the Element of Harmony you represent wasn't easy. Fluttershy, it was when you realized that the way to show kindness to the Breezies was by forcing them to leave their home.

Twilight Sparkle

Rarity, even after Suri took advantage of your generosity at Fashion Week in Manehattan, you didn't let it cause you to abandon your generous spirit.

I simply couldn't have lived with myself if I didn't do something special for the friends who have always been so generous to me!

Twilight Sparkle

Rainbow Dash, you had the chance to fly with the Wonderbolts at the Equestria Games, But instead you chose to compete with your friends.

Rainbow Dash

Sure, but being loyal to my friends was way --

Pinkie Pie

Ooh! My turn, my turn!

Twilight Sparkle

Pinkie Pie, you realized that seeing your friend laugh was more important than proving you were a better party planner than Cheese Sandwich.

Pinkie Pie

Best party I've ever had!

It's clear we've all had our moments to shine, Twilight. But I'm with Applejack; what does any of this have to do with the opening of the chest?

Twilight Sparkle

All of you had tough choices to make, but when you made the right one and embraced your element, it helped somepony else make the right choice too. Each of you received something from the pony whose life you helped change. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe there's something special about those objects that could lead us to the location of the keys. The chest is connected to the Tree of Harmony. The Tree is connected to the Elements. And the Elements are connected to all of us! There must be a connection! I hate to admit it, but maybe Discord was trying to be a good friend after all.

Lord Tirek

How it this possible?! You have no magic!

Twilight Sparkle

You're wrong, Tirek! I may have given you my Alicorn magic, but I carry within me the most powerful magic of all!

Princess Celestia

You've been wondering what you are meant to do as a princess. Do you know now?

Twilight Sparkle

As princess, I believe I have the power to spread the magic of friendship across Equestria. That is the role I am meant to have in our world! The role I choose to have! But I didn't defeat Tirek on my own, it took all of us to unlock the chest.

Princess Celestia

Then it is unlikely you are meant to take on this task alone. [opens door, showing thrones for the mane 6 and Spike]

[gasps] Wowwee! Wow...

Princess Celestia

You are now Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship.

Princess Celestia

But what is the Princess of Friendship without her friends?