My Gym Partner's a Monkey quotes

[grabs Rufus by the collar; irritated] LAUGH OR YOU'LL BE SORRY!

I thought we closed down the Rube Goldberg wing. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

So, Henry, what are you crying about today?

Henry

[sadly sniffling; wipes his nose] Well, fellas, I'm feeling about as low as a legless snake.

Whoa!

Henry

[hops onto the table] When I first came to CDMS, I didn't know if I was ever gonna fit in. I felt about as out of place as a blind jackrabbit on a zamboni.

[driving by on a zamboni] I'm quite comfortable, thank you.

Henry

But thanks to you fellas, CDMS almost became my home. That's why it's gonna be so hard to go back to my old school. Ye-e-e-e-s, sir, my time here is up. So, I'm headin' back to my home in Greenland.

Henry, I didn't know you were an exchange student.

Henry

That's right. But don't be too sad when I leave.

I'm sure we passed that ice cap before, Helen.

Texas sure looked different in the brochures.

Henry

[walking by, carrying his suitcases] Well, see y'all later. I'm off like a herd of turtles to Greenland.

Did you just say "going to Greenland?"

Henry

Yes, ma'am, I did.

But we've been so nice to you. We even threw you a party. True, it showed how little we actually know about you, but still, we tried.

Henry

That's just it, y'all. I ain't used to this sort of treatment. Y'all being so nice to me, well, it's sort of freaking me out.

You mean, we've been suppressing our hostility for nothing?

Henry

Well, you see, negative attention's the way to my heart.

You want negative attention, we'll give you negative attention. GET HIM!

Most people think I'm shallow and materialistic, but I always put my friends first.

All right, everyone, who is ready to learn? [the Spiffies take their seats] When we left off yesterday, we had discovered three other ways Gillian could have easily gotten off the island.

Intruder alert! Intruder alert!

We're goners, Jake! You know he loves that marquee! We gotta get rid of it!

I will not! We're in love.

[barges in the classroom] STOP!!!

What's the meaning of this, Pixiefrog? I was promised complete autonomy.

Mr. Spidermonkey has my marquee post!

That monkey's always being disruptive, usually with his butt. If only there was something I could do to stop him. If only there was a way. [starts daydreaming in a medieval world]

These guys even daydream in nerd.

Your Highness, we are the Knights of the Multiplication Table! We've come seeking adventure.

And girls.

♫ The knights moved through the murky bog to see the warthog fair / The bog beast who patrols the muck will make things mighty hair…y ♫

AAH! You hear that?! A bog beast!

There's no such thing as a bog beast. That's just a myth perpetuated by Adam and his stupid lute. Well, believe me, if there was a bog beast, he'd be no match for me.

BOG SHARKOWSKI!

A real myth! The bog beast!

Well, the general thinking is that you take the two things there and manipulate them to propel the craft.

Yes, yes. I do believe you're right.

You mean to tell me none of you have ever been in a boat, before?

No, too competitive.

Too risky.

I have a rowing allergy.

Water chafes my rumpus.

Y equals MC squared.

Daniel, you live in the water. Surely, you must know something about boats.

Nope, I can't ride in boats because of my allergies, and I get seasick easily, which is why my mother and father can't ever take vacations, because of me.

♫ The knights sailed off to flee the bog, way out into the sea / Beware the calls of sirens' songs, or dead we all shall be ♫

[looks through his telescope and sees sirens, sitting on rocks, vocalizing] Slap my trapezoid! It's sirens! They're trying to lure us with their songs so we'll crash into the rocks! Turn, jester, turn!

[monotoned] Can't…resist. Must…speak…sporadically.

Sweet isosceles! We're doomed! I think I need… my siren repellent! [uses his inhaler to blow puff clouds at the sirens, causing them to retreat, diving back into the ocean]

[to the viewers] Well, a boy can always dream.

Is there something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Mr. Lyon?

[hides the note behind his back; smiling nervously] Uh, no.

What about that note behind your back?

Wha… what note?

No games, Mr. Lyon, I know it's there. Get up here and read it.

Yes, sir. [glares at Jake for a second, gets up from his desk, and walks to the front of the room]

Go ahead, Mr. Lyon.

[looks at the note, written in gibberish] I can't read this.

[impatiently] You've wasted enough of my time, Mr. Lyon. Now read.

Okay. [in gibberish] Gobbledy, gooberwonka, wonka slageeoobracheen.

[insulted] Are you mocking me with a secret language, Mr. Lyon?

No, sir, I can't read this.

Well, here's something you can read. [writes and gives Adam a slips for detention]

[dismayed] Detention?

Now, back to your seat.

[remorsefully] Yes, sir.

Ooh! Sweet sweater, Bull. Too bad that title's already been claimed.

Bull

What are you talking about?

Well, according to him, he's number one.

Bull

Oh, we'll see about this! [walks over to him] Armadillo! There's only room for one #1 Grandson in this school, and that one is me!

Henry

[defensively] Nobody says I ain't #1.

Bull

Well, if you're so tough, then prove it!

Henry

All right, you asked for it. [he and Bull start to face off] I clip my nana's claws every night.

Bull

I floss my nana's jaws every night.

Henry

When my nana lost a bowling ball, I rolled up and let her bowl me.

Bull

I swim at her bingo every Wednesday.

Henry

Well, I lick up all her ants for her supper.

Bull

Well, I chew all her chums for her! [Henry gasps] And if it weren't chewed enough, she spits it out, and I chew it again! [Henry gets knocked out and falls to the floor on his back] Looks like you lose, Armadillo.

Henry

[sitting up] Not so fast!

Bull

And why's that?

Henry

Because every morning, I go to my nana's house. Game over.

Bull

Big deal, I go to mine every morning too!

Henry

But when you're there, do you give yours a sponge bath?

What's with Mr. Hornbill today?

He's a bit shaky from giving up his daily cup of hot brewed swamp water.

No talking in class!

Sorry, Mr. Horn--

No apologizing! Detention!