Band leader quotes from Muppets Tonight

After we do our number, we take over the studio and make our demands!

Okay!

Bobo

Hey, hey, hey, hey!! What are you guys doing here?

Eh, we're the Rock Lobsters, we're here to do our big Rock Lobster song on the show.

Yeah, and then we're gonna take over the studio!

[to drummer] Sssht, Chatterhead! [to Bobo] He was talking about how, how bears will believe anything you tell 'em.

Bobo

[laughs] You got that right! Ah, have a good day, fellows!

Clifford

[to Rizzo] Figure those lobsters out there: aren't they cute? With their little lobster outfits, their little lobster guitars and their little lobster semi-automatic weapons.

[Interspersed with enthusiastic support from his peers] Keep that camera turned on me, or we will shoot you! Shellfish of the world, unite! We, the Crustacean Liberation Army, are taking over the Muppet Studios! Here we will announce our plans for world domination. Here are our demands: First, that from now on, when someone's in bad mood, no-more calling them 'crabs'. Second: when someone is short, no-more calling them 'shrimps'.

[Freaking out] Yeah, because that's one thing that really burns us.

Take it easy, Ed. [Ed calms] Third: No more movies based on old tv shows.

Yeah! Yeah, yeah, that's right! But... wait a minute, what's that got to do with shellfish?

Nothing. It's for the benefit of all mankind!

Clifford

Well, You got to agree with them on that one!

[still making fierce demands] ...demand number 49: 'Istanbul should be changed back to Constantinople'.

So take me back to Constantinople.

All right, so it wasn't a real demand, I just wanted to hear that song again! Anyway, until our demands are met, we rule the airwaves! We will control the entertainment on this show! We will put on what we wanna see! Men, what do we wanna see? [they discuss it amongst themselves] You're kidding me! Sure? [the men agree] Right then, we choose to put on... The Dancing Grandmas!!

Alright, it's been five minutes and I can see our demands aren't going to be met- Agnes, when I get home, I don't wanna hear you say 'I told you so!'. Now, to show you serious we are: Bring out the hostages! Heheheheh!

So, how does it feel now that you're about to be sacrificed, big-shot-capitalistic entertainers? Let's hear you sing now."

"Okay."

Pepe

Heheheh!

Seymour

I'm Seymour.

Pepe

I'm Pepe.

We're two of a kind.

Pepe

We're about to be sacrificed,

Seymour

and I've got a big behind?

Pepe

[to the lobsters] If we only had a little more time to prepare, okay. [Seymour agrees]

Silence! Take 'em away before they sing again!

Don't you think you're being a little...shellfish?

I am a little shellfish! Oh, I get it, it's a pun! Wait a second...crustaceans don't make puns!

Yeah, you're no prawn!

Get him boys!

Ok, your time's up! This is it! [hits the Band Leader with the 'Deadly Alarm Clock] You have really ticked me off now!