TV show quotes
Love is a very beautiful, very intense feeling for a startling short period of time. Before long, you realize it gets in the way of the important things in life; like, just going to sleep or being left alone. That's when love starts fading and lies kick in.
But how long does it actually take for love to fade?
Oh, quicker than you think, kid, quicker than you think.
[Coach Stopframe is looking through a book of Satanic spells and then looks a photo of Clay]
Coach Stopframe?
Oh, hi, Orel.
Whatcha got there?
Mmm, nothing, just a picture. Oh, hey, Orel, do you think that you could get me a little bit of your dad's hair?
Sure! What for?
Well, I...want to buy him a new comb and I need to see what gauge teeth to get on it.
(Later, Orel finds a strand of Clay's hair.)
Orel, are you planning to buy me a new comb?
Orel How'd you guess?
Well, it was either that or you're gonna put a Satanic spell on me. And that's just not in your character.
Orel why are you sifting through the vacuum bag so early in the morning?
Oh, is it that early?
Yes, and I haven't even finished my 3rd drink yet.
Greetings. I am Flygron. Come in and have some pizza.
Yum! [Runs inside]
Uh, who's the kid?
He's the virgin.
What? That's totally against the law.
But it's for the ritual.
Don't you know any legal virgins?
Hadn't crossed my mind, really.
Ugh, I cannot get naked with these people.
Yeah, not with the kid around anyway and what not.
Have some pizza, Coach. It's sour cream and peanut-butter.
[scary voice] The Devil's combo!
Wow, Orel, you're the best detective ever!
No, Doughy, the best detective of all was King Solomon. He cleverly deduced that a mother never wants her baby cut in half.
Oh yeah, that was some caper!
Gosh, my mom’s treating those people like they’re her family.
I don’t know, Orel. It looks she’s just ignoring them and fed up and not happy at all to be here.
Exact… ly…
Uh, I think I’m gonna go home.
[sadly] Bye, Doughy.
Your birthday? Why didn't you say anything, Miss Censordoll?
I prefer not to annually celebrate the emergence of my unclad body through such an unsavoury passage as my mothers womb.
Hot dog, picket signs!
There’s a special Saturday screening of “The Greatest Story Ever Told”.
That’s not a dirty movie.
They all are, Orel, if you find a way to look at them just right…
But, it’s about the life of our Lord. It can’t be that bad.
Then let’s let God be the judge of that, shall we?
[She twitches uncontrollably and writes “MOVIE TOO LONG AND BORING, DISTRACTS AUDIENCE INTO WHORING!” onto the blank picket sign]
Of course! That God. Even makes me feel inferior.
Is sin radioactive?
Yes. That's why it's dangerous to get it near your groin.
Yikes!
Hey, Dad, can I talk to you?
Sure! [angrily] In my study!
OK!
[Clay looks confused]
You don't seem at all nervous, young man.
But I didn't do anything wrong.
Oh, right. Well, I guess my belt can have the day off. [He takes off his belt to hang it up and his pants fall down] Darn it.
God makes two types of mistakes. The first kind is called "a miracle". You know, like bleeding statues, burning bushes, earthquakes and hurricanes that destroy disgusting foreign cultures? Those are all good mistakes that back up our faith in positive ways. And then there are His not so good mistakes. Traffic jams, the common cold and the mentally retarded. Those are called "God's blunders"
Now this is not to say that the pious life is completely devoid of joy. Oh, there’s lot of great stuff! There’s platonic friendship, nice weather, the thrill of a good night’s sleep....uh....just to name a few.
Dad?
Where? I mean- Here for ya!
I’m sure finding it hard trying to avoid all of the devils pleasure traps
Ah, don’t worry, son. When you get older and have a family, you’ll find that leading a virtuous and pleasure-free life comes as easy as waking up in the morning.
Clay, I’m setting your couch alarm so you’re not late for work again tomorrow!
[mockingly] Fine! [to Orel] Okay, it’s a lot easier than waking up in the morning.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Moral Orel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
