Moral Orel · Season 2
Son, I know things have been rough over the past few months, what with your mother's unreasonable behavior and bitter coldness towards me.
[Orel is about to put some Chinese food in his mouth]
Don't say it, you and Shapey are still young, needy, impressionable children. So your mother and I have decided to stay together. If only for appearances. The last thing we want people to think is that we don't care about our own kids. That's one fact that is none of their business
We were all made in God's image. Now what does that phrase really mean? I mean, if a ugly fat lady is made in God's image, then how can a stuck-up pretty lady also be made in God's image?
[in a stereotypical Jewish accent] Figgurelli, I hear the townspeople are all into this segregation mishegus. Oy, it reminds me of when King Herod got shpilkes because of our Lord and savior
Huh?
You know. It starts with the stereotyping and ends with the kaputz?
[The Figgurelli's go to the attic after learning the townsfolk plan to burn their house down]
Come on, everybody, in the attic. They'll never find us up here. [Hands Suzy a diary] Here, Suzy, start writing in this diary.
Why, daddy?
You know, uh, it's good, for when you're dead.
God wants you to love Jesus more than anything else in the world. More than your mother, more than your father, more than your favorite food. And yes, even more than money.
[The adults of the congregation gasp with horror]
Come on, Orel. We don't wanna be late for Bible Youth Fun Club. You know how intolerant they can all be.
Love is a very beautiful, very intense feeling for a startling short period of time. Before long, you realize it gets in the way of the important things in life; like, just going to sleep or being left alone. That's when love starts fading and lies kick in.
But how long does it actually take for love to fade?
Oh, quicker than you think, kid, quicker than you think.
[Coach Stopframe is looking through a book of Satanic spells and then looks a photo of Clay]
Coach Stopframe?
Oh, hi, Orel.
Whatcha got there?
Mmm, nothing, just a picture. Oh, hey, Orel, do you think that you could get me a little bit of your dad's hair?
Sure! What for?
Well, I...want to buy him a new comb and I need to see what gauge teeth to get on it.
(Later, Orel finds a strand of Clay's hair.)
Orel, are you planning to buy me a new comb?
Orel How'd you guess?
Well, it was either that or you're gonna put a Satanic spell on me. And that's just not in your character.
Orel why are you sifting through the vacuum bag so early in the morning?
Oh, is it that early?
Yes, and I haven't even finished my 3rd drink yet.
Greetings. I am Flygron. Come in and have some pizza.
Yum! [Runs inside]
Uh, who's the kid?
He's the virgin.
What? That's totally against the law.
But it's for the ritual.
Don't you know any legal virgins?
Hadn't crossed my mind, really.
Ugh, I cannot get naked with these people.
Yeah, not with the kid around anyway and what not.
Have some pizza, Coach. It's sour cream and peanut-butter.
[scary voice] The Devil's combo!
Wow, Orel, you're the best detective ever!
No, Doughy, the best detective of all was King Solomon. He cleverly deduced that a mother never wants her baby cut in half.
Oh yeah, that was some caper!
Gosh, my mom’s treating those people like they’re her family.
I don’t know, Orel. It looks she’s just ignoring them and fed up and not happy at all to be here.
Exact… ly…
Uh, I think I’m gonna go home.
[sadly] Bye, Doughy.
Your birthday? Why didn't you say anything, Miss Censordoll?
I prefer not to annually celebrate the emergence of my unclad body through such an unsavoury passage as my mothers womb.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Moral Orel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
