Monsters at Work · Season 1
[Fritz calls Vend-O Service to get help after Vendy 2 goes crazy and uncontrolable]
Vend-O Service. Can I help you?
Oh, yes, you can! Our machine, it's gone crazy!
Calm down, sir. Everything will be fine. As long as you didn't remove any doohickeys.
BUT WE DID!!
[Vendy 2 launches a soda can that disconnects the phone line]
Hello? Hello?! Oh, the phone line's been cut! It's cut the phone line! [echoing]
[Duncan manages to unplug Vendy 2]
Who's the hero now?!
[Unbeknownst to Duncan, Vendy 2's backup batteries are powering on]
Duncan! Duncan! Look behind you! Duncan!
What?!
[Vendy 2 extends her tray from underneath Duncan and pulls him in]
LEMME OUTTA HERE!!
It ate Duncan!
Oh, no! Not Dun-- Any body parts left? I got dibs on an eyestalk.
[Mike is handing out envelopes to employees]
Here you are. Compliments of Monsters, Incorporated. This one is for you. This one is for you. This one is for you. This one is for you, my friend.
Hey, Mike. What's in the envelopes?
Money.
Money?
Money.
You mean money-money?
Yeah. I'm calling it "Free Money Mondays." I'm telling ya, morale has never been better!
Where'd you get all that cash?
From your emergency money jar you keep hidden under your bed.
But...
This is for you.
But we...
This is an emergency, right? This one is for you, my friend.
[Duncan is still trapped in Vendy 2]
PLEASE!! LEMME OUTTA HERE!!
We gotta save him!
Okay. How?
[gets an idea] You!
Me?
You may not be the best MIFTer at fixing stuff, but you're pretty good at breaking it.
Thanks. I think.
So, get out there and fix-beak Vendy 2.
Yeah!
Double T!
Do your worst!
Really mess things up!
SOMEBODY LET ME OUT! IT'S NOT AS SPEACIOUS AS IT LOOKS!
Time to get to work! [roars loudly and begins destroying Vendy 2]
Woah, he really would've made a great Scarer.
Get back!
[Vendy 2 explodes; Tylor is holding Duncan]
I'll never remove a doohickey again. Ugh!
Oozeball tables, fine art, Free Money Mondays?
And I have more ideas where those came from. How about a rooftop swimming pool?
We don't need a swimming pool.
A Monsters, Inc. swim team!
We don't need a swim team!
Then who's gonna use the pool?
Bean, I can explain all of this. ...Actually, I can't explain any of it.
Hello?! What's to explain? Look at my graph-thingie. I've never seen morale turn around this quick!
And our laugh canister output has already doubled.
Really? Well. At this rate, profits should turn around rather quickly.
It was all Mike's doing. Good job, Mikey.
Aw, thank you. Thank you, Sulley.
No problem. And did you hear? Tomorrow's Pay Me Back Tuesday.
[Mike chuckles nervously]
[because of profits going up, nobody in MIFT has to be let go; Tylor is setting up a surprise]
Morning, MIFTers! So, what's up?
I don't know. Tylor wouldn't let us in till you got here. [knocks on the door]
Come on in. But cover your eyes. [the gang close their eyes] Alright, there you go, come on in. Yeah, yeah. Just over here. Careful, careful. Okay. Hold right there. Up, up! Keep'em closed. And open! [they opens their eyes to see that Tylor has put the original Vendy back together] Surprise!
Vendy!
She's back!
Ah, you fixed her!
More like blindly cobbled.
Hey, look, I fixed something all by myself, and I kept all the doohickeys.
Uh-huh. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, whatever.
Well, give it a try, Ty-Ty. Give it a try!
Hi, Vendy! [inserts his change and presses a button]
Bump-bump-bump, big bump! [Vendy dispenses a Drooler Cooler]
One Drooler Cooler! [throws the drink to Fritz]
Who needs all those fancy flavors when I've got Drooler Cooler Classic?
And we get to keep classic Fritz.
Goodness, I feel just like Vendy, all fixed up and ready to work here at MIFT for years to come!
Wouldn't want it any other way, Fritz.
Cheers.
Cheers!
Cheers, big ears!
Oh, yeah, cheers. Whatever.
[Monstropolis is hit with a heatwave.]
[on TV] And in weather, it's icky and sticky here in Monstropolis, with high temperatures continuing over the next few days. Don?
Thanks, Lisa. As you can see, in nearby Monstrocity, it's already well into 200s, with humidity at 140%.
[chuckles] This is a good one. Hey, Duncan, who's that right next to you, huh, huh? [referring to Duncan's oscillating fan] That's your biggest fan.
[sarcastically] Oh, wow. Don't quit your day job, College [his fan blows on his face] Booooooy.
Phew! That machine shop's hot, but nearly as hot as my former husbands. Pierre, Sheldon, oh, Ricardo.
Heads up! [tosses Tylor a Drooler Cooler]
Whew! Thanks, Val.
No problem. [camera shows Val making a huge stack of Drooler Coolers] Just finishing off my Drooler Cooler Tower of Coolness.
[a work order is launched from the mail chute and ricochets around until it knocks over the Tower of Coolness, revealing Fritz to be inside]
Aw. Just when it was getting cool.
Aw.
Sad, sweaty sigh.
Sounds like it'll be monstrously hot today. [laughs] Right, Don? Don? [the camera shows Don has melted on the news desk] Somebody get a mop!
[Mike has just finished filling a Laugh Canister only to find that it's only half-full]
Half-full?! Ah! That was some of my best belching! I gave her the [belches] and the [belches again] and the classic [releases a long belch].
Oh. Smells like you've had stench toast for breakfast, sir.
[an alarm goes off; the screen shows the power grid usage in Monstropolis]
Hey, what's going on?
Mike, with this heat, we need to figure out a way to generate more laugh power. Suggestions?
How about a Laugh Extractor?
Too soon, Fungus.
This is serious. If we don't get more jokesters ASAP, we'll lose business to Fear Co.
Right. More jokesters.
Right away.
And I know just where to find them.
[all comedy class participants have reported to the Laugh Floor]
Attention! Now, listen to me. I don't care if it's a giggle, a chortle, a guffaw, a tee-hee, we need laugh energy, and we need it now. Mary, all five eyes on me. Chuck all four arms at your side. Kaitlyn, you ooze, you lose. You may not be official jokesters, but power demand is high. So your mission, make kids laugh!
[whispers to Karla] This is awesome.
I brought my liquid-emitting flower.
Tuskmon!
Sir!
Are you funny, Tuskmon?!
Yes, sir! I'm very funny, sir!
My nana talks funnier than that!
[in a baby voice] Yes, sir! I'm very funny, sir!
Y'know, actually, that's pretty funny.
That was my baby voice. I've been working on it for a while.
Y'know, you should use that on the Laugh Floor.
Mike, how long do I have to hold you like this?
Oh, sorry, Sulley. PROPS!!
[Tylor got into an accident with the door track that sent him through the banishment door Mike and Sulley were in the first film; Tylor wakes to find himself hanging upside down in an ice cave; he sees a dark figure with a chainsaw and panics as he reaches for his rubber chicken; the figure uses the chainsaw to free Tylor from the ice and reveals to be Adorable]
Welcome to the Himalayas!
[Adorable shows Tylor his ice sculpture collection]
Yeah, ice sculptures. You gotta have a hobby. Well, in this case, it's more of an art. I call this one Yak in Winter Three.
Yeah. I... I'm sorry, how did I end up hanging upside down?
Oh, you fainted. Yeah, I had to get the blood to your head.
Yeah, I recognize you.
Anyway, Yak in Winter One and Two, now they were equally impressive. [chuckles and turns on his chainsaw] Wanna try it? Watch your fingers. Don't breathe in the fumes.
No, no, no!
Come on! What are you afraid of?
You! I'm afraid of you.
[confused] Me?
You're Abominable. You were banished!
"Abominable"? Oh, why can't they call me the "Adorable Snowman"? And why "snowman", huh? I'm not made of snow. I'm not even a man.
If you're here, and I'm here, [realizes] That was a banishment door.
[Val tracks down Tylor and finds him with Adorable]
Val?
Another roomie!
[scared] Y-y-y-y-you're the...
Adorable Snowman!
I heard you ate some guy in Monster Resources.
Who? Dale?
That's what I heard.
I didn't eat Dale. Dale quit. Went to school to become a massage therapist. Which I'm like, "You need a school for that?"
Uh, yeah. Nine months. And a lot of money.
Yeah, I'm misunderstood.
Oh.
But now, I got some friends that understand me.
Aw.
Hey! I'll get some games. We can play Pin the Tail on a Yak or Name That Yak or Yakopoly!
Yakopoly? I love games, too.
Okay, we gotta get back. Let's go, let's go.
Let's stay.
Stay? What? No.
Come on, Tylor.
You wanna spend the rest of your life here?!
Please, can we stay? Please, please, please, please, please...
No. No. No!
[Adorable appears in front of all the MIFTers]
What's he doing here?! He stole 27 1/2 cars from the parking lot!
No, he was banished for drinking screams directly from the canisters.
Is this true?
What would I do with half a car?
Oh, who knows the twisted criminal mind?!
He's gotta go. Assisting or harboring a banished monster is punishable by banishment.
Banishment?
And you definitely can't hide 'em in your apartment for six months. Not that I would know.
Needleman, Smitty, have you seen...
Santa?
No, not Santa. NO.
See? I told you it wasn't Santa. It was just some tall, white, furry guy.
Uh, furry guy! Right! Where'd he go?
[Tylor and Adorable are stuck in Cutter's trap]
Yaks mostly eat grass and wildflowers, and some people think they have four stomachs. But they really have one stomach with four compartments.
Really?
And the milk? Oh, delicious. But you know what really gets the taste buds hoppin'? Mmm, yak yogurt.
Okay, could you just stop with the yak yakking yak? Okay? Please? [sighs] Today was my big chance to be a jokester.
Jokester? What's a jokester?
That's right. You don't... [sighs] It's laugh power now. No more scare power.
Really?
I was gonna be a Scarer, but now my only chance to get on that floor is to make a kid laugh.
Yeah, I know how you feel, kid. But when life throws you a snowball, make snow cones.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monsters at Work pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
