[Fritz is looking over each MIFTer's files]
DuncanHe's in there right now. Going through our files. Making his decision. And don't think your little vending machine trick will work, College Boy. You can't snack your way out of gettin' fired.
Oh, I think I already have. [looks at the candy selections in Vendy Two] Whoa! Hot Snots?
Duncan
Hot Snots? [flies up to Tylor] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast. No-no-no-no-no! You can't have those. Hot Snots are my thing.
Your thing? No, no. They've been my thing since I was three.
Duncan
Three?! My mom popped those babies instead of prenatals, okay?!
Duncan
I win! You'll just have to find another favorite.
Seriously? No, I'm getting them.
Duncan
No, you're not!
Duncan
You stop!
Duncan
No, no, no! Mine!
[they both bicker and continuously press the button on Vendy Two until she shuts down]
Duncan
Ho-ho! Now you're definitely getting fired.
You're the one who kept push-push-pushing. He's firing you!
Fritz is gonna be so upset.
[sighs] Yeah, I better fix this thing.
Duncan
Whoa, no-no-no-no-no. You can't fix anything, we've established that. I'll fix it, and you just stand there and be fired. [opens the circuit panel on Vendy Two and starts taking parts out]
It says to call an authorized service center.
Duncan
Authorized, schmauthorized. That's for amateurs like you. [gets electrocuted and topples over] Don't touch that yellow wire. Reroute this to that, tighten this, jiggly this thingie, and boom! Let's give this thing a try. [he and Tylor push Vendy Two back into place and she turns back on] There! Good as new. I'll just get rid of all this stuff. [moves the parts he took out under Vendy Two]
Wait-wait-wait-wait. What are those?
Duncan
Ah, you know, extra parts. Bunch of doohickeys.
Duncan
It's not gonna make any difference.
Oh, I think I need another Drooler Cooler pick-me-up. I've got a lot on my mind. [selects drinks] Oh, Spittle Splash flavor. That sounds scrumptious. [selects Spittle Splash and inserts his change; Vendy Two dispenses a box of Pop-Farts instead] Pop-Farts? I don't want Pop-Farts. [presses the exchange button; the machine roars and flashes "unleash the feast" then launches a soda right into Fritz stomach]
TVTylor and Val
Are you okay?
No! I got canned! There's something very wrong with that machine!
[Vendy Two goes haywire and starts launching food and drinks at the MIFTers]
[The MIFTers retreat into Fritz's office as Vendy Two continues to go crazy]
[Duncan manages to unplug Vendy 2]
Duncan
Who's the hero now?!
[Unbeknownst to Duncan, Vendy 2's backup batteries are powering on]
Duncan! Duncan! Look behind you! Duncan!
Duncan
What?!
[Vendy 2 extends her tray from underneath Duncan and pulls him in]
Duncan
LEMME OUTTA HERE!!
Oh, no! Not Dun-- Any body parts left? I got dibs on an eyestalk.
[Duncan is still trapped in Vendy 2]
Duncan
PLEASE!! LEMME OUTTA HERE!!
You may not be the best MIFTer at fixing stuff, but you're pretty good at breaking it.
So, get out there and fix-beak Vendy 2.
Duncan
SOMEBODY LET ME OUT! IT'S NOT AS SPEACIOUS AS IT LOOKS!
Time to get to work! [roars loudly and begins destroying Vendy 2]
Woah, he really would've made a great Scarer.
[Vendy 2 explodes; Tylor is holding Duncan]
Duncan
I'll never remove a doohickey again. Ugh!
[because of profits going up, nobody in MIFT has to be let go; Tylor is setting up a surprise]
Morning, MIFTers! So, what's up?
I don't know. Tylor wouldn't let us in till you got here. [knocks on the door]
Come on in. But cover your eyes. [the gang close their eyes] Alright, there you go, come on in. Yeah, yeah. Just over here. Careful, careful. Okay. Hold right there. Up, up! Keep'em closed. And open! [they opens their eyes to see that Tylor has put the original Vendy back together] Surprise!
Duncan
More like blindly cobbled.
Hey, look, I fixed something all by myself, and I kept all the doohickeys.
Duncan
Uh-huh. Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, whatever.
Well, give it a try, Ty-Ty. Give it a try!
Hi, Vendy! [inserts his change and presses a button]
MMIFTers
Bump-bump-bump, big bump! [Vendy dispenses a Drooler Cooler]
One Drooler Cooler! [throws the drink to Fritz]
Who needs all those fancy flavors when I've got Drooler Cooler Classic?
And we get to keep classic Fritz.
Goodness, I feel just like Vendy, all fixed up and ready to work here at MIFT for years to come!
Wouldn't want it any other way, Fritz.
Duncan
Oh, yeah, cheers. Whatever.
[Monstropolis is hit with a heatwave.]
LLisa
[on TV] And in weather, it's icky and sticky here in Monstropolis, with high temperatures continuing over the next few days. Don?
DDon
Thanks, Lisa. As you can see, in nearby Monstrocity, it's already well into 200s, with humidity at 140%.
[chuckles] This is a good one. Hey, Duncan, who's that right next to you, huh, huh? [referring to Duncan's oscillating fan] That's your biggest fan.
Duncan
[sarcastically] Oh, wow. Don't quit your day job, College [his fan blows on his face] Booooooy.
Phew! That machine shop's hot, but nearly as hot as my former husbands. Pierre, Sheldon, oh, Ricardo.
Heads up! [tosses Tylor a Drooler Cooler]
No problem. [camera shows Val making a huge stack of Drooler Coolers] Just finishing off my Drooler Cooler Tower of Coolness.
[a work order is launched from the mail chute and ricochets around until it knocks over the Tower of Coolness, revealing Fritz to be inside]
Aw. Just when it was getting cool.
LLisa
Sounds like it'll be monstrously hot today. [laughs] Right, Don? Don? [the camera shows Don has melted on the news desk] Somebody get a mop!
[Adorable appears in front of all the MIFTers]
Duncan
What's he doing here?! He stole 27 1/2 cars from the parking lot!
No, he was banished for drinking screams directly from the canisters.
What would I do with half a car?
Duncan
Oh, who knows the twisted criminal mind?!
He's gotta go. Assisting or harboring a banished monster is punishable by banishment.
And you definitely can't hide 'em in your apartment for six months. Not that I would know.
[After rescuing a monster child from the door vault.]
OOscar
[to Duncan] Are you gonna puke?
Duncan
Me? [gags]
OOscar
'Cause you look like you are gonna puke.
Duncan
[weakly] No, I'm always this shade of green. [gags]
Hey, and uh... Speaking of green, what's round, green, and goes "honk-honk?"
[Thalia, who was excited about the journey, becomes pessimistic again from Tylor's joke.]
TThalia
[sighs] Mike Wazowski driving his car.
Oh, you've heard it, oh, okay.
TThalia
[leaving] It wasn't funny the first time I heard it, and it wasn't funny now. You are not funny.
[After Thalia leaves, Tylor kicks the floor with frustration.]
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
