IIbsen
Well as I said before, while met with resistance, we have a great surprise in store for you. We, have uncovered something you have desperately been trying to hide. Tonight, you will all be reunited with your families.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You're going to pay for this!
IIbsen
Pay for what? Journalistic integrity?
SMStella Murderface
William!
IIbsen
I think you'll find any journalist worth his own salt, would do the same.
Good song title... "Bloodrocuted!"
SMStella Murderface
I learned they have these wheelchairs now with computers in them that you can control by blinking, your eyes - and with all your money, William, your grandfather has to sit there in a wagon like a dead cat.
Oh! I guess I'll just run out and buy one - hey, anyone else want one? Electric wheelchairs! I'll buy a million of them -
Ow! Don't hit people on the head with a spoon!
SMStella Murderface
Oh William, you're going to go to heaven for this!
I’d rather die than go to heaven.
[Thunderbolt's first action in the chair is to drive it backwards through a plate glass window in an attempt to kill himself]
We are going to do a Dethklok family Death metal album! There it is, I said it. Okay? And I got it all figured out. Everybody's on board. Now we can all enjoy the fruits of our talents! After all, [to Pickles] hey, you're my little brother. I friggin' love you. But you got all your ideas about music from me first! [tense music starts] The idea to become a rock n' roll star, that was mine. So face it; you owe me! [Pickles starts to choke him, causing him to stutter] You'll be making a percentage!
For once it is not about the money! I don't want my parents doing a fucking metal album!
[still being choked] I can't take this away from them! We're family!
The hell you talkin' about?!
We are the most brutal band in the world! What do any of you know about being brutal?
Now you guys better check out or you'll has each other's lunch for dinners!
SMStella Murderface
Oh, you gutless pieces of living garbage! You think you know what it's like to be brutal? [sprays William with pepper spray]
SMStella Murderface
Can you imagine cleaning the feculent crud off this moron's diapers every morning? [sprays William again]
SMStella Murderface
Let me tell you billionaire lowlives something, there's nothing, NOTHING, in this world more brutal and grotesque than raising children!
SSServetta Skwigelf
I could never lose the weight after you were born! And look at the veins in my bosom, they're like a roadmap of Stockholm!
OEOscar Explosion
I used to be happy... until you! When I started spending all my time with HER, and I spent all my beer money on little kid's clothes! That's brutal!
You just missed another spot.
How many times are you going to pass that spot?!
[driving] Where? Which one?
Back there! For God's sake! [Nathan backs up]
I can't see with all these people in here! [another car takes the spot referred to]
SStella
Too late! You blew it!
Fantastic! [Nathan drives some more around the parking lot]
MMurderface
Ahh, Grandma, he's just trying to drive! Leave him alone and back off!
We don't speak to our grandmothers that way! Take this! [slaps Murderface]
Mom! Don't smack Murderface! [gets slapped] Ow!
[Occupant of Other Car] What the hell? You hit my car!
Hey! I have four mothers telling me how to drive! What's your excuse, asshole?!
SStella
Tell him you're sorry.
[Murderface and Knubbler are sitting on the couch in a skit]
Looks like another wonderful, but lonely Christmas Eve with just you and me, right old pal?
MMurderface
Yup. Looks like the two of us, again.
[doorbell rings]
Oh I guess you know what that sound means...
MMurderface
Oh, the Christmas goose is finished getting microwaved?
[studio laughter]
Noooo. It means we have some guests!
[door opens and Dethklok's mothers enter the scene very drunk d espite Dethklok locking all the booze away.]
SStella
Well hellooooo....
MMurderface
[aggravated] And they've been drinking! Yeah, uh take your time staggering in. Like this ain't live TV or anything.
Yes, who would have thought that Dethklok would have mothers? Ha ha...yes...
[doorbell rings]
MMurderface
I'll get it! Wouldn't it be great if it was more friendly guests?
opens the door to see Nathan Explosion, who punches Murderface in his face]
Why didn't you tell me that this thing was being sponsored by religion? That's not fucking cool dude. [enters]
[Murderface laughs nervously]
Hey watch the F-bombs all right? This...was written, this was written...
[doorbell rings; Dr. Rockso enters]
Oh-k-k-k-k-k-Rockso! Made his way onto the lot with the Christmas party baby!
[enraged] Oh Rockso, you fucking piece of shits! You stole the Christmas presents! I FUCKING KILLS YOU ROCKSO!!!
SStella
Out of my way, here it comes! [crashes her Rascal into a big wooden cross, crushing both her and Toki]
AAAAAH!! OW, MY LEG!!! AAAH! TOKI'S LEG!!! [screams and babbles in agony]
Dude, we need a doctor over here!
SStella
Heeeelp! Heeeelp!
Dude, we need a fucking doctor over here!
Murderface, I think you grandma's, like, hurt or something, you should help her.
MMurderface
Can't you just let me enjoy this moment?
Metalocalypse · 448 quotes
