Toki Wartooth quotes from Metalocalypse

Huh, the mid-west. Whoa. A bunch of Swedes cames over two hundred years ago and got fat and ugly. Heh, I loves it.

Toki

[drunk] Aaaaw, you know it! Haa hooo! Fats and ugly- [gags and spills his drink]

[annoyed] Takes it easy on the sauce.

Toki

Aw, yous... takes this on the sauce, yous nots the boss of me. I gonna go gets schnapps, you wants one?

Yeah...

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This is great. This is some good drama.

You can't pay for this.

You can't. It...it simply is.

It's like an eclipse or something, it's just, you gotta be there.

Guys, we gotta leaves, the cops is here!

Toki

The pig sirens is goin' off, scramble!

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I've never seen so much blood at a wedding. Awesome.

Yeah, you really beat up your brother.

But I feel bad for him.

But you just said you hated him, why would...eh.

Yeah, I mean, I hate him, but...

Ya but it's not unsposed to make sense. For you see, wes are aimless, hate-filled animals, scamperings away into the nights.

Toki

That's rights. For you see, that's what families is. Peoples whats you hates.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

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Toki

Oh, Pickle don't look good. Pickle looks scared!

Liz Bane

He's fine. This is outstanding exposure.

Who the hell is this lady?

Toki

Oh, that's Pickle new P.R. lady.

She's not a groupie?

Toki

No.

Never mind then.

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Why don't we just start our own P.R.?

Yeahs, all its is telling somebody something. And thats what I does right now.

Yeah. And we should do it with the 3 of us right?

Yeah let's do it.

Yeah, let's do that.

Toki

Hey, how comes you don't asks me? The 3, it's the 4 of us.

You were all the way over there, you- you we weren't even- we couldn't even see you.

Toki

I just heard everythings and i want to be parts of it too.

Tokis, yous toos lates. That's what you gets for trying to play video game.

Toki

WHAT'S TOO LATE!?! I STANDS RIGHT HERE! You just excludes me on purpose, you know it!

That's bad P.R. right there.

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We want our own PR person, like Pickles has.

OOffdensen

But I am a PR person.

But we want a real PR person.

OOffdensen

I am a real PR person.

No, we wants a reals PRs person!

OOffdensen

I am a real PR person--

Toki

But we wants a lady!

OOffdensen

I am--fine.

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Now, publicity is all about being seen.

Yeah, okay, okay, that's a good point, because what I was gonna say is publicity is all about being seen.

That's what I just--I thought I was running this meeting, you're just repeating!

Oh, I'm sorry, you're right, please.

We need to get our faces out to where everybody can see us--

Likes Pickle on TV!

Exactly! But everybody goes on TV--

Yeah, everybody goes on TV, everyone does, you're right.

Yes, just my point, everybody goes on TV--

Everybody's already on there, why would you wanna do that?

Yes--

Go, go the other way.

Grr... yes. We need to go where--

Where nobody's gone yet.

Toki

Oh, radio!

Toki, get outta here, you're not in the PR club.

Toki

It's stupidest PR club, it doesn't work!

THANK YOU JUST I'M RUNNING THIS MEETING! WE NEED TO... just somewhere that's not on TV. FUCK! (throws laptop)

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What are they gots there grapesdrink?

Yeah they're drinking some fucking grape drink that's awesome.

Toki

Oh grapesdrink.

That's a pretty fancy grape drink.

How comes theys gets to have grapesdrink?

Yeah how come we can't have any fucking grape drink? That's fucking not fucking fair.

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Gives to me this waterproof guitar that makes sure can floats.

Toki

And gives me waterproof guitars what shoots out bugs repellsgents.

Gives to me magic gloves whats can makes my hands fly.

Toki

Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs.

Gives to me the swords that glows, which shows me which way that is north.

Toki

Oh and gives to me battleaxe what shows which way's south!

Stops copys me.

Toki

You stops copys me.

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STSkwisgaar & Toki

[at the same time in constant rhythm, sometimes getting faster] Stops copies me! Stops copies me! Stops copies me! [repeats]

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OOffdensen

Being governor has its advantages. You could be quite powerful.

Oh really?! And I could just put all my friends in charge of everything, and I could just rape and pillage the economy, and line my pockets with money, and I could go mad with power?

OOffdensen

You actually could do that, you know... it's technically-

I WANNA BE IN CHARGE OF THE NATIONAL GUARD!

Alright you got it!

Toki

I WANTS TO HELPS PEOPLE!

YOU GOT IT!

I NEED A SECRETARY!

YOU GOT IT!

I WANNA BE THE AMBASSADOR OF CHINA!

YOU GOT IT!

I wants no parts of dis, dis ams craps! Governments!

Dude, Skwisgaar, you know that Florida has the highest population of old ladies in old lady homes?

You could be in charge of old... you know what!

Then, I WILLS BE IN CHARGE OF DATS! DEMS OLD LADIES!

YOUUU GOT IT!

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Get me the weather burrow...uh, bureau.

WOWeather Official

But that's where we are, sir.

Excellent, outstanding, good. I command you to destroy the hurricane.

Toki

Yeah, use your weather controlling machines!

WOWeather Official

People can't destroy hurricanes, sir.

Alright, uh... Knock it off course. Do that.

WOWeather Official

I'm afraid that's impossible, sir.

Dammit! We've tried everything.

Not EVERYTHING... (everyone stares at Murderface)

Well, not EVERYthing. I mean, not LITERALLY "everything"...

Well, I didn't mean literally everything.

You SAID literally everything!

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OOffdensen

Have you activated the emergency alert system?

Toki

Oh I hate that, that "beeeeeeeeeeep!"

Oh yeah, that "beeeeeeeeeep!"

AMAll Members

"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep!"

Nope, no way.

WOWeather Official

All alert systems have been looted and robbed.

They stole the "beep?!"

Toki

Why woulds they steals the "beeps?"

People are so low.

I'd steal that.

What the fuck do you guys even do here?

WOWeather Official

We name the hurricanes, sir.

You name the hurricane, that's your job?

WOWeather Official

What should we name this hurricane, sir?

Name the hurricane. Huh. Uhhhhhhhhh....hmmmmm. How about....uh...Scrambles? Scrambles the...uhh...the Death Dealer.

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Toki

Jumps out the window! Finds me a paper clip! You dos what I say or I haves you all killed! Now shits your pants!

Toki, your boner is showing.

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Okay give me a call when you need me to come pick you up, do you guys have your phones?

Yeah.

Toki

Yes.

Okay, eat all your lunch and don't talk to anybody. There's weirdos out there.

Yeah.

Toki

Yes.

Okay, goodbye, study hard! [drives off]

Hey Toki. I bets yous a millions billions dollars thats I will be a better driver than yous.

Toki

OH! I bets yous a krillions billions thats I will bes the best, ands the fastest!

No way! Yous are on!

Toki

Let's go! [runs out in the street as cars whiz by him; the camera cuts to Skwisgaar as you hear a bunch of crashes occur]

Whoa! Look out! Ha ha! Oh... that's funny...