BBeth
Thanks for signing my inner thigh, Mr. Bundy
Now, now, Beth. We promised not to speak of such things in front of Les Misérables.
S9 E23Pump Fiction
(Al and Kelly's movie is showing and the title says "Sheos" instead of "Shoes")
Sheos?
No. Shoes, remember? E before O except after E-I-E-I-O.
S9 E24Radio Free Trumaine
Now, Al, don't go to sleep. You know our deal: you get beef, I get beef.
MMark
Now, remember, we're gonna be giving away free limo service to this Friday's formal to the student with the most pathetic reason for wanting it. [phone rings] You're on the air.
Uh, hi. This is Bud Bundy and I'm trying to--
MMark
Bud Bundy, we have our winner.
S9 E25Shoeless Al
WWoman
I'll have your jobs for this.
Fine, if we can trade for what's in your fridge.
Stay cool. Our lives are in your feet.
That's why life stinks.
S9 E26The Undergraduate
Al, I think this thing is broken.
Peg, unlike many of your other devices, this one doesn't need batteries.
It's just a junior prom. I can do this with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.
That's sort of like one of your real dates, right?
S10 E1Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch, And Dinner
The best way to ruin a heartfelt goodbye party is to stay where you're not wanted.
You know, I've always wanted a place where I could stretch out and do nothing.
Well, get in the car: I'll take you to the morgue.
S10 E2A Shoe Room With A View
Mom, I had a horrible day, and I could really use some motherly advice right now.
Shut up, Bud. Oprah is doing a show on mothers who don't pay attention to their sons.
It's a remote control override. Peg. They're on sale at the Real Man's Shop.
Well, while you were there, why didn't you pick up a real man?
Don't push it, Peg. It also overrides all of your other handheld electronic devices.
[Al is trying on shoes for a fat woman named Matilda.]
MMatilda
I don't understand, I was a size six before Aerobic class. All that jumping must've expanded my foot.
And I see you must've fallen on your butt a time or two.
MMatilda
[Picks up her sneakers] How dare you say that to my face?
Well, I'd say it to your back, but my car's only got half a tank of gas!
S10 E3Requiem For A Dead Briard
And to think I could've had any man on the football team.
Peg, you had them all.
Let's call him Lucky. Lucky Bundy.
I was saving that name for my tombstone.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.