YYummy
I love a man who's on top of things.
And I love a woman with things on top.
S4 E17You Gotta Know When To Fold 'Em: Part 2
Well, now I know everything will be okay. Because the man who sifts through my garbage for food is going to break the bank in Las Vegas.
S4 E18What Goes Around Comes Around
Dad, when you were in school, did a girl ever did something to you that ruined your entire life?
Yes, and you call that girl "Mom" now.
Sure, before you marry them, all women like football. But as soon as you say "I do"... they put on forty pounds, and the only hike you'll see is them hiking up their pants before they weld their butts to the sofa for the rest of their worthless lives.
And if you wanna talk about "flying wedge," let's talk about my mother-in-law. People overuse the phrase, "as big as the Earth," but kids, try to picture everyone you've ever known under one muu-muu.
Shoes: no kind of life for a man.
S4 E19Peggy Turns 300
My birthday is in February. I'm an Aquarium.
Just wait till I remember one of your birthdays!
Mine's in February. I'm an Aquarium.
And an empty one.
S4 E20Peggy Made A Little Lamb
Bud, what do you think? Would this make a great yearbook photo?
I don't know, Kel. (turns her around): If you really want people to remember you, you might want to try this (moves the picture frame below her neck, stopping at her breasts and midriff): Now, all we do is add some fingerprints, and voila: every man's memory.
Aw, Bonnie Malone. See, Kelly? Here's what you should never do in a yearbook photo: pose with your baby.
Peg, I brought someone over to show that you don't need a high school diploma to be important. (gestures outside): Sir?
(the homeless man from "Oh, What a Feeling" and "Rock and Roll Girl" staggers in, holding out his hand)
HMHomeless Man
Change?
I'm heading to the store to get dinner. Hey, how 'bout alphabet soup? That way you can eat and learn.
HEHome Ec Teacher
Miss Bundy, why can't you be more like Reuben?
(Kelly stares at Reuben, a preppy black kid with glasses)
Well, we both like boys.
S4 E21Raingirl
[using a kitchen pot as a bongo drum] Oh, man, we're broke, cha cha cha.
Everybody flat broke, cha cha cha.
Living in the gutter, cha cha cha.
Early grave, cha cha cha.
Everybody -- shoot me!
Today, when I, like the rest of the nation, was wondering where East Dakota was, the weatherman told the manager that either I went or he went.
Oh, well. Losing your first job isn't so bad.
Me? They canned him like a tuna. He was not the one wearing a miniskirt!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.