Law & Order quotes

If people found out that he slept his way to a cooking show on basic cable... I mean, how sad is that?

[reading one of Jobson's articles] "Women find Moretti as mouthwatering as his tirimasu..."

That was another reason she was fired. Her writing sucked.

Taking a human life was the hardest thing I've ever done. [chuckles bitterly] Not that it made any difference. I'll never escape the past. I know that now. Thanks for trying. Goodbye.

My daughter is very disturbed...

-and your son is a murderer and potential suicide!

[stares blankly] Your point?

We believe in God's laws, not man's

Is that a threat?

Why, no, Mr. Arlen, that's not a threat. A threat would be more like ... If you mouth off to us one more time, I'm gonna break your jaw. And when you're on the ground, I'm gonna kick you in your ribs until you spit blood, you cheap shyster. That would be a threat. This is more like a request.

The guy literally invented the 80s-style hostile takeover.

Good guy?

Sure. If you like hypocritical, narcissistic, cold-blooded frauds.

McCoy

Are you alright?

I'm thinking, Mr. McCoy. Just thinking.

I'm just trying to resolve a difficult case in the fairest way possible.

McCoy

Fair? There was nothing fair about what happened to Jackie Ogden.

[after McCoy tells him to be careful] You work your side of the street, Mr. McCoy, and I'll work mine.

The porn world is gonna be in mourning tonight.

I wonder what they fly at half-mast.

Van Buren

Now, this may come as a surprise, but I know all about Samantha Savage.

Why, Lieutenant.

Van Buren

Please. I've got two teenage boys. She's huge on the web. A top-tier adult video star. Her autobiography came out a couple of months back, bestseller.

Next thing you're gonna tell me, she's on Oprah's Book Club.

Samantha Savage was a home video hooker who couldn't write a sentence if you spotted her the noun and the verb. I came up with the idea for the book, found the ghostwriter, edited the manuscript, chose the cover art. I took that silicone-stuffed bimbo and turned her into a best-selling author. How does she repay me? By taking her follow-up how-to sex manual to Knopf.

So you made her a success, and she runs off to the competition?

In a nutshell.

That would have made me mad as hell.

Oh, you have no idea.

Life? Are you retarded?

[about Verick] In addition to a life sentence, I'd like to see this guy hauled out in stocks in Foley Square.