S4Meatball Montecito
Hey, I need a few annoying habits of Danny's. I have a list going.
You don't think there's anything annoying about Danny?
I think there are about a million things, but I don't have the four hours necessary to get into it.
[...]
Okay, how about the fact that he's a little too chummy-chummy with your father. That's creepy.
And have you ever noticed that every time that boy walks past a mirror he's got to look in it? [turns to see Delinda fixing her hair in a reflective sign] You guys will be great.
Wait, what did you say after mirror?
Men are pigs. Those two are oinkers.
I just want our first Christmas together to be special, do you know what I mean?
He is just pissing away his money.
Isn't that what you want?
Of course it's what we want, but we want people to piss away their money correctly.
Oh. I didn't know there was a correct way to piss away money.
Well there is! Now what is it you're going on about?
It's Danny and mine's first Christmas. I'm planning a special, candlelit romantic Christmas Eve dinner. Then a little cuddling by the fire --
Okay, hold it. I don't want to hear about you and Danny playing hide the salami in front of the fireplace or under the Christmas tree.
Why does everyone think that's all we do?
Because you two couldn't stop banging each other if your lives depended on it. [Delinda smiles] In fact, I'm surprised you two aren't permanently attached at the crotch.
I have no idea what to get Sam for Christmas.
How about anti-evil pills? Oh, that's right, the ones she got last year didn't do the trick.
Delinda: I think I know what would ease all this tension.
Danny: What? Oh! Oh.
Delinda: I'll see you at home.
Danny: Okay, I'll finish my rounds and I'll meet you there.
Danny: Baby, I'm home. Sorry I'm late, I had to 86 a couple of card cheats. But I'm here now.
Delinda: I made a reservation, you gotta come.
Danny: Wait. Where's the Frisky Ferret? I thought we were...
Delinda: Oh, honey, I already did. What? You were late! Let's go. I'm starving.
Sam: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Where's Delinda? My whale needs the booth bottle service at Mystique.
Danny: I don't know where she is.
Sam: I've been calling her, she hasn't answered. You know, she seems like she's really hard to get ahold of ever since she got that Frisky Ferret.
Danny: She told you about that?
Sam: Of course. The Frisky Ferret used to be my favorite till I traded up.
Danny: Traded up?
Sam: To the Angry Anaconda. Mmm...
Danny: You know what? I'm not even worried about it. 'Cause it's not like a little sex toy's ever gonna replace the real thing.
Sam: Oh. Okay, good. All right. Well, you keep telling yourself that. (CHUCKLlNG) It's just It's so hard to find a decent guy. And then you have to pretend like you want to wait so he doesn't think you're a slut.
Delinda: I never waited, and no one ever thought I was... Besides, you don't have to wait till you're in a relationship. Have you ever heard of the Frisky Ferret?
Mary: Oh, I'm guessing a battery-powered device.
Delinda: More like a battery-powered endless source of pleasure.
Mary: That good, huh?
Delinda: Better.
Mary: Ooh!
Delinda: I'll get you the catalog.
Delinda: Hey.
Danny: What's up? We're headed out to North Vegas.
Denlida: Mmm.
Danny: Sorry I didn't make it home last night.
Delinda: That's okay. I kept busy. (BLENDER WHlRRlNG)
Delinda: I tried to stay up until you got home last night, but I was completely spent.
Danny: Spent?
Delinda: Yeah. But I slept really well.
Danny: So I thought we could figure out a way to use up all this energy.
Delinda: Oh, yeah? Mmm-hmm I'll be right back.
Danny: Okay.
(ELECTRONlC BUZZlNG)
Danny: All right. Delinda! We need to talk about this. You can't just get up in the middle of...
Delinda: I had spinach in my teeth. What? Danny, what's going on? You didn't just suddenly develop a phobia to oral hygiene, did you?
Danny: I just I thought it was the Frisky Ferret. I thought that you were in there. I thought that you were in there, you know...
Delinda: Why would I do that when I have the real thing right here?
Danny: Because you would rather have the tractor in your field than the mule in your Mike's an idiot. Look, I think that we have an amazing sex life and I don't need sex toys or erotic accessories to make me happy. I just need you.
Delinda: I feel the exact same way, Danny.
Danny: Good.
Delinda: So if this is about the Frisky Ferret, let's just get rid of it. We good?
Danny: Yeah. Good.
Delinda: 'Cause I'd rather be here with you like this, than lying alone, half-undressed, in the middle of the day, fantasizing about you and me doing it on a picnic bench in the middle of the woods.
Danny: What do you mean?
Delinda: You know. Bra, blouse, nothing else. Except my boots. And I'm getting a few splinters, but I kind of like it. And any moment we might be discovered. It's just something that gets me really excited. But don't worry. That's all over.
Danny: I'll be right back.
(ELECTRONlC BUZZlNG)
Delinda: Danny! (DELlNDA LAUGHlNG)
S4Wagers Of Sin
PPolly
I have lost the will to work.
PPolly
Hard to believe, I know.
PPolly
After I find new boyfriend, I work, maybe six month.
SSamantha
How about if I get Chul Ho back for you.
PPolly
No way. He go to L.A., already look for better girlfriend with a tight booty bounce quarter off and big hooter, plastic.
DSDoctor Sassen
Your handshake -- it's like a little girl's.
Here's an idea for ya. How about I crack you right in the mouth. And that way you...(recognizes trickery, starts to laugh uneasily) That was a test. You had me there good.
DSDoctor Sassen
I just wanted to get a sense of what I'm dealing with here.
AMAnger Management Doctor
Okay Ed, how would you react if a man stood right in front of you and said he was gonna knock your teeth down your throat?
Well doc, you see the first thing you do is kinda take a half a step to the right so you can't get hit with a straight right-hand,, then I take my thumb and I go right for this eyeball (making a move for the doc's right eyeball to show him)
AMAnger Management Doctor
No!
Anger Management Doctor: No.
