“Wines And Misdemeanors” quotes from Las Vegas

Delinda: I think I know what would ease all this tension.

Danny: What? Oh! Oh.

Delinda: I'll see you at home.

Danny: Okay, I'll finish my rounds and I'll meet you there.

Danny: Baby, I'm home. Sorry I'm late, I had to 86 a couple of card cheats. But I'm here now.

Delinda: I made a reservation, you gotta come.

Danny: Wait. Where's the Frisky Ferret? I thought we were...

Delinda: Oh, honey, I already did. What? You were late! Let's go. I'm starving.

Sam: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Where's Delinda? My whale needs the booth bottle service at Mystique.

Danny: I don't know where she is.

Sam: I've been calling her, she hasn't answered. You know, she seems like she's really hard to get ahold of ever since she got that Frisky Ferret.

Danny: She told you about that?

Sam: Of course. The Frisky Ferret used to be my favorite till I traded up.

Danny: Traded up?

Sam: To the Angry Anaconda. Mmm...

Danny: You know what? I'm not even worried about it. 'Cause it's not like a little sex toy's ever gonna replace the real thing.

Sam: Oh. Okay, good. All right. Well, you keep telling yourself that. (CHUCKLlNG) It's just It's so hard to find a decent guy. And then you have to pretend like you want to wait so he doesn't think you're a slut.

Delinda: I never waited, and no one ever thought I was... Besides, you don't have to wait till you're in a relationship. Have you ever heard of the Frisky Ferret?

Mary: Oh, I'm guessing a battery-powered device.

Delinda: More like a battery-powered endless source of pleasure.

Mary: That good, huh?

Delinda: Better.

Mary: Ooh!

Delinda: I'll get you the catalog.

Delinda: Hey.

Danny: What's up? We're headed out to North Vegas.

Denlida: Mmm.

Danny: Sorry I didn't make it home last night.

Delinda: That's okay. I kept busy. (BLENDER WHlRRlNG)

Delinda: I tried to stay up until you got home last night, but I was completely spent.

Danny: Spent?

Delinda: Yeah. But I slept really well.

Danny: So I thought we could figure out a way to use up all this energy.

Delinda: Oh, yeah? Mmm-hmm I'll be right back.

Danny: Okay.

(ELECTRONlC BUZZlNG)

Danny: All right. Delinda! We need to talk about this. You can't just get up in the middle of...

Delinda: I had spinach in my teeth. What? Danny, what's going on? You didn't just suddenly develop a phobia to oral hygiene, did you?

Danny: I just I thought it was the Frisky Ferret. I thought that you were in there. I thought that you were in there, you know...

Delinda: Why would I do that when I have the real thing right here?

Danny: Because you would rather have the tractor in your field than the mule in your Mike's an idiot. Look, I think that we have an amazing sex life and I don't need sex toys or erotic accessories to make me happy. I just need you.

Delinda: I feel the exact same way, Danny.

Danny: Good.

Delinda: So if this is about the Frisky Ferret, let's just get rid of it. We good?

Danny: Yeah. Good.

Delinda: 'Cause I'd rather be here with you like this, than lying alone, half-undressed, in the middle of the day, fantasizing about you and me doing it on a picnic bench in the middle of the woods.

Danny: What do you mean?

Delinda: You know. Bra, blouse, nothing else. Except my boots. And I'm getting a few splinters, but I kind of like it. And any moment we might be discovered. It's just something that gets me really excited. But don't worry. That's all over.

Danny: I'll be right back.

(ELECTRONlC BUZZlNG)

Delinda: Danny! (DELlNDA LAUGHlNG)