Do you know what it's like to have Big Ed Deline breathing down your neck every second of the day?
Well, yeah.
That's right. I forgot. He did catch us in bed. It was fun. We should do it again sometime.
S3Viva Las Vegas
You know, Danny, I haven't seen Samantha Marquez here.
That's because she's not here.
She seems to have disappeared with all her clients, which I don't have to tell you means millions of dollars to the Montecito's bottom line. I need those clients here on opening night.
Nobody has seen or heard from Sam since she left.
Well, given your impressive background, I don't think you're going to have too much trouble tracking her down.
Well you don't know Sam. If she doesn't want to be found, she won't be.
What is she, all of four foot nothing? Find her!
Even if I did find her, what if she doesn't want to come back?
Then I'll poach her clients.
If that bitch thinks that she is going to get away with this, she has another think coming!
It looks like she already has.
S3Fake The Money And Run
So, Mike --
MCMike Cooper
Yes?
What sort of impression do I make?
Come again?
If we were at a bar and you hadn't seen me before.
Oh! Can I speak candidly?
I insist you speak candidly.
I think you are a hot piece of ass.
Good answer.
Come on, show some cleavage. It's a casino, not a convent.
S3Double Down, Triple Threat
Tequila's like amnesia in a bottle for me.
S3Whatever Happened To Seymour Magoon?
Who is she?
Who is who?
Come on. You wore the same suit yesterday. You have that pathetic, puppy dog grin on your face. My guess, some woman's got you by the 'nads. My advice: cut her loose. Women cannot be trusted.
Okay.
Hello? I know what I'm talking about.
I hate to say this, Sam, but you smell like a dog.
Yeah! It's Beaumont, of Silver Springs. He's this big, goofy Great Dane. My whale's showing him at the competition.
How adorable!
Yeah, he is. He reminds me of my first love, John Butler. I can't get over the resemblance.
Not the dog. The whale, right?
Yeah, I have a date with him tonight. I feel like a girl. Let's sit down and talk about it!
S3Big Ed De-cline
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Check it out! Punch in camera eight on that cell. You got it? Looks like 555-0178. Find out who's number that is.
What's going on? She diss you? You've got to learn to take no for an answer.
MMitch
That's a pay phone.
Okay. I've been here before, remember? All we've got to do is tap into the pay phone's records. Find out what number called it at 3:48 p.m. today.
MMitch
That's illegal, Mike. You can't access a public phone's records. Okay. [points at screen] She stole Ed's Aston Martin.
Daddy's car?!
Yes.
You're dead.
I know.
Good luck!
S3The Real McCoy
BMBob Marquez
Hey, sis!
Hey sis. Who are you, Greg Brady? Who says things like that?
Dear, God, please make them stop.
Yeah, your brother and your boss. Not the most holy of unions.
Nuh-uh. What am I gonna do?
Ignore it.
I'm trying, but I can't. I mean, this is interfering with my job. The time I've spent showering, alone.
Showering?
Should I talk to him? I should talk to him! Thanks, Mike!
Two words: Polyester.
Two words: Calm down.
Don't tell me to calm down! You're not even listening to me!
No, I'm not. I'm trying to study for my driver's test.
No one studies for their driver's test!
Well not everyone has a genius IQ, sweetheart.
It does come in handy sometimes. Hey, quit changing the subject! This is a slippery slope, Daddy. I mean, first the wait-staff at Mystique wears polyester uniforms, then who knows what she'll suggest? Stripes with plaids? Denim on denim's? Skorts?!
Skorts? What's a skort?
Where does it end, Daddy? Where??
BMBob Marquez
She touches me, Sam, to the soul and beyond.
I'm going to slap you.
BMBob Marquez
We're soulmates, and I'm thinking she's going to be part of our family one day.
I'm going to go throw up.
S3Bold, Beautiful And Blue
Did you know I was a magician's assistance once?
Why does that not surprise me?
The Amazing Roger. He was super cute. I actually learned a few tricks myself.
Really? Like what?
Once we were driving home from a show, and I put my hand on his thigh and he turned into a motel.
[Looking at Mary and Sam's revealing tops] I'm sorry, did we open a Hooters?
[Motioning to Monica's chest] If we did, you're in trouble.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Las Vegas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.