Mary Connell quotes from Las Vegas

Mary Connell

Did you get them back?

Sam

The front desk is going to let them freak out for a few minutes and then blame it on the computer.

Mary

You're bad!

Sam

I know!

Also, Burt thinks that your breasts are lucky.

Mary

Why is everyone so fascinated by my breasts?

You're kidding, right?

Mary

So you gave up on Bon Jovi, huh?

Delinda

He's more interested in John Elway.

Mary

You do realize he's a happily married man.

Delinda

I know. I was just hoping he'd write a song about me. You know, like Leila, and Angie, and Michelle. Delinda.

Mary

Do you really have a genius I.Q.?

Delinda

[nods] Mhmm.

Mary

That is truly frightening.

Delinda

Well, it's not like I work with nuclear weapons or anything. Although I do like to blow things up.

Sam Marquez

I hate funerals. Pretending to mourn for someone you despised. Doesn't that bother you guys?

Delinda Deline

Not me. I like pretending.

Mary Connell

Now that we know Monica left it all to charity, I feel like maybe she was just misunderstood.

Sam Marquez

Really? I feel like maybe she was just a bitch.

Delinda Deline

[trips] Ouch!

Ed Deline

Honey, are you okay?

Delinda Deline

Ow! My shoe!

Mary Connell

Aren't those the shoes you got at the sale where Monica...

Delinda Deline

Yes. I'm still breaking them in, I guess.

Ed Deline

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. You bought those shoes where she died?

Delinda Deline

They were on sale.

Mary Connell

Is that the infamous Paul Logan I see at BlackJack 22?

Sam Marquez

Yep.

Mary Connell

He seems so --

Sam Marquez

Stupid?

Mary Connell

I was going to say sophisticated.

Sam Marquez

That's not sophisticated, it's British. Don't get confused.

Sam Marquez

You've got to hand it to Monica.

Mary Connell

What?

Sam Marquez

Even death can't keep that bitch from ruining my life.

Sam Marquez

Hey, you know what, Mary? My client over there, he's lost 250 grand.

Delinda Deline

He's really --

Sam Marquez

Sad. Yeah.

Mary Connell

Aw.

Sam Marquez

Yeah, he's sad. Listen, maybe you could just go over there and kind of be yourself.

Delinda Deline

Be super sweet!

Sam Marquez

Yeah, be nice to him.

Mary Connell

Poor guy.

Sam Marquez

Thanks, sweetie.

Delinda Deline

Thanks, Mar. She does come in handy.

Sam Marquez

She does come in handy sometimes.

Mary Connell

That's sweet.

Sam Marquez

Yeah, sweet. He's up on us by over a million dollars. Why are you still such a hopeless romantic? You're weird.

Mary Connell

You're weird! And another thing, Lipworth is spending a lot more than a mil on this wedding. So while your commission might be affected by the fact that he stopped playing, the Montecito will still come out way ahead, which is all I care about!

Sam Marquez

Pretty sassy there sassafrass.

Mary Connell

Is it too much?

Sam Marquez

I like it.

Mary Connell

I'm still working on it.

Mary

[runs up, frantic] Hey, hey. Have you guys seen Danny?

Sam

No. It's not my turn to watch him.

Delinda

[watches as Mary runs away in search of Danny] She gets weirder every day.

Sam Marquez

[to Mike about Ed] What do you mean a heart attack? Oh, that's great. He probably found out Delinda and Danny were sleeping together again.

Mary Connell

Is that true?

No, no!

Sam

No, Mary, it's not true.

Mary

Am I the only one who didn't know about Danny and Delinda?

Sam

Well, you and Ed.

Mike

Please don't have a heart attack, Mary.

Delinda

You know, don't you?

Mary

I just want to know everything.

Delinda

I wanted to tell you, but then Derek showed up and things just got out of hand.

Mary

Got out of hand?! Is that how you explain what's been going on?

Delinda

Look, I'm sorry --

Mary

Delinda, I don't want to talk about this.

Mary Connell

Why didn't you have the decency to tell me?

Delinda Deline

Now's not exactly the best time for us to chat.

Mary

[to the bartender] Take a walk.

Delinda

I thought you weren't talking to me.

Mary

Oh, I'm not talking to you. I'm yelling at you.

Delinda

You know what? I'm tired of walking on eggshells around you. Danny wanted to marry you. You gave him his ring back. It's over! You don't have dibs on him anymore, so get over it!

Mary

Poor Derek. He never even saw it coming.

Delinda

Well maybe poor Derek and poor Mary should get together and trade sob stories.

Mary

You'd like that, wouldn't you? I swear, you are just pathological.

Delinda

Now you're talking out of your ass.

Delinda

I have no idea what to get Sam for Christmas.

Mary Connell

How about anti-evil pills? Oh, that's right, the ones she got last year didn't do the trick.