Ed (to Danny): You need some sleep.
I told you that I don't sleep anymore.
Why?
Because there's nobody left to watch my back. They're all dead. (shudders) Every single one of them.
S2Have You Ever Seen the Rain?
It is completely abnormal for grown men to paint smiles and frowns on their faces with bright colors.
You know, Daddy, one would've thought that the CIA might have diagnosed your coulrophobia and done something about it.
(laughs) Okay. So...you have a little problem with clowns, big guy?
(Delinda and Sam laugh)
Shut up.
(Delinda and Sam stop laughing)
S2Blood Is Thicker
[to Mary after she flirted with a guy to get him to help them] Brother? Can't you even pretend to be my wife?
S2Games People Play
What is wrong with these rich college kids? What, is there some kind of jackass gene that kicks in?
Yeah, there is.
NHNessa Holt
Can I ask you a question?
[sighs] Yes, I've done it with a girl, but only once. Okay, twice.
NHNessa Holt
No! That's too much information!
S2Tainted Love
JJudge
Mr. Deline, if you don't put away that cell phone, you will be in contempt of court and will spend Valentine's Day in jail with a cellmate named "Bubba".
SSamantha
Also, Burt thinks that your breasts are lucky.
Why is everyone so fascinated by my breasts?
SSamantha
You're kidding, right?
Would either of you want me on the jury?
MDMike, Danny
Nah!
S2Hide and Sneak
Sam. Have you seen Seth? I'm really worried about him.
Delinda, he's an adult.
He shows up this sweet, unspoiled country boy and now I've turned him into some sort of --
American?
Oh, God.
Yeah. Listen, there's this thing. I'm not sure if you've heard of it or not. It's called personal responsibility.
Yeah, but he's overdoing it. And it's all my fault.
Good. Everyone overdoes it. That's why we're here.
Yeah, but he's picking up slutty girls.
That's excellent, actually. He wears the Boy George hats, but he's not gay.
And he's drinking like a fish.
Helps kill the slutty girl germs.
S2Centennial
So you gave up on Bon Jovi, huh?
He's more interested in John Elway.
You do realize he's a happily married man.
I know. I was just hoping he'd write a song about me. You know, like Leila, and Angie, and Michelle. Delinda.
Do you really have a genius I.Q.?
[nods] Mhmm.
That is truly frightening.
Well, it's not like I work with nuclear weapons or anything. Although I do like to blow things up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Las Vegas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.