A character in Kappa Mikey
Voiced by Sean Schemmel
Kappa Mikey · 116 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Kappa Mikey: in 50 of its 116 quotes
Most scenes with: Guano (20), Mikey Simon (18), Lily (17)
Gonard, did you leave this on the audio board?
GonardThat's preposterous! I've never seen that sandwich before in my life!
You autographed it! [sandwich reads 'Eat you later -Gonard']
GonardThat could be any Gonard! [eats sandwich out of Guano's hand in one bite]
For now, let's just worry about covering our butts.
GonardOne step ahead of you. (has a sheep on his butt)
Well, if you really are Mikey's parents, then you must know a lot about him.
When's Mikey's birthday?
GonardWhat's Mikey's name?
[mimical gestures while an accordion plays in the background]
GonardTo eat is a necessity; but to eat intelligently is an art.
That's beautiful, Gonard.
GonardA guy wrote it on my hand at the bus station. (holds up hand)
You guys remember that reporter that was here?
GonardSure, about yea high, face made of glass, always standing next to the fax machine.
You're thinking of the photocopier.
GonardThat wasn't a reporter? Then why would he want a picture of my butt?
GonardHey, Keep it down! I'm trying to watch TV.
[Gonard, watching TV, sees himself on reality show]
GonardOh, man, this guys got moves!
Gonard, that's you!
GonardShyeah, I wish.
[on TV] Yeah, Girls cooking for her friends.
Ugh! That was my voice sounds like?
[on TV] I'm with you, Mikey.
That’s what I looks like?
This is terrible! I look like a wet blanket.
GonardI look like a sandwich loving buffoon.
I look like I'm not wearing any clothes!
[On TV, Mikey opens the fridge and farts]
O.M.G!!!!! [running away to the stage] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Security breach!
Gonard[excitedly paging through a photo album] Here's me fighting 'gators in the Amazon. Oh, and and here's me playing ping-pong on the moon. Oh, and here's me inventing penicillin at the prom.
Those are just all pictures of you with sandwiches.
GonardJealous?
Gonard! You're not evil!
GonardThanks, I've been using a new deoderant.
Eat the stocking... EAT IT! [shoves christmas stocking in Yes-man's mouth]
GonardYou're good, Kappa Mikey. Real good.
The best.
Cut? [excited] Cut! That's a wrap, people!
[crew cheers]
Mikey, that was amazing.
Yeah, for once you didn't destroy the whole set.
Ain't no thing but a sumo ring. [tips over a camera and chaos quickly ensues] Sorry.
You know what, who cares? We're done for the season!
GonardSorry I'm late, I had to get beat up by some nerds. Ready?
Yeah, remember you're good cop I'm bad cop.
GonardGot it.
[Scene pans to Guano tied up in a chair]
GonardSo Guano, how'd you like a punch in the gut?
[through clenched teeth] Gonard! Good cop.
GonardI mean, how would you like a kiss...in the gut? [Gonard thumbs up sign to Lily]
[Gonard dunks his head in a fish tank, comes up with a fish in his mouth, swallows fish]
Gonard!
GonardI just open my mouth, if a fish swims in that's his decision.
GonardI get it now. There aren't two Ozu's. That other guy is Ozu's brother.
[sarcastically]: Very good, Gonard.
GonardNow if only someone would explain to me who THAT guy is. [points to himself in a mirror and talks to his reflection] Hello, handsome.
[Gonard puts bunny ears on his butt]
Um, Gonard, those are bunny ears.
GonardOh, I thought they were butt feathers.
???
Until Mikey Simon is removed as producer, I'm going on strike!
Yeah!
Me too!
Wait stop! I can explain.
GonardMikey, to make someone less popular all you have to do is steal their belt.
[Yoshi walks by, his pants fall down]
My trousers!
Gonard[chuckling and holding up Yoshi's belt] That'll teach him to look at my doughnut.
[talking about Butts, the currency of Buttstonia]
GonardLook, look at the pretty Butts.
That's... okay.
GonardTouch them, touch my Butts! Touch my stinkin' Butts!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kappa Mikey pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
