Guano quotes from Kappa Mikey

Guano

Hey, LilyMu dolls! [picks up Mitsuki doll and starts mimicking her voice] Oh, Guano! You're such a talented writer! Have you been working out? [picks up Ozu doll and starts imitating him] I am sorry for what I said, Guano. You are a good actor! And a great director! And very tall! [picks up his own doll and starts speaking on his own voice] It's too late for sorries, Ozu! GUANO SMASH! [starts hitting dolls against each other until he starts crying] Guano smash...

Guano

All my life, the tall furry guys always get everything, and the short furry guys just get kicked around. Well, I'm sick of it. Have I not fur? Do I not shed? I'm onto you, werepuffs. One day you'll slip up. And I'll be waiting!

Gonard

[in girl's voice] Please let him go!

Gonard

[in William Shatner voice] You'll... have to... kill me first.

Gonard

[in girl's voice] You mean like this?

Guano

Gonard, what are you doing? You're already on the show.

Gonard

Oh... right. [embarrassed chuckle]

Ozu

This is terrible. All these actors stink.

Gonard

That last guy was good.

Ozu

That was you!

Lily

Yeah, it's Guano's show. Fire him, not the rest of us.

Guano

You're gonna find somebody else who can write and direct a new episode every week? Not to mention memorize all my character's lines?

Lily

All your character says is "Guano!"

Guano

That's what makes it a challenging role!

Guano

You didn't destroy Ozu's bonsai tree with a samurai sword, did you?

Mikey

Uhhh... kinda.

Mitsuki

Mikey, Ozu's gonna kill you!

Gonard

He'll send you back to America!

Guano

He'll cancel the show!

Mikey

I'll never walk on the moon!

Mikey

What? It's been on my mind.

Say , how bout some ice cream? I know this jord next door .. if you're interested?

Mitsuki

You don't want the new video game?

Video games are for kids!

Now who want ice creams shaped in clowns?

Guano

I do! [raises hand]

Not this time pal. And shine your shoes kid, you look like a mess. [walks away]

Guano

I .. don't even have shoes'

Guano

Who could leave such horrible rumors in the paper?

Gonard

Who indeed

Guano

Mitsuki was with Lily the whole time

Gonard

Indeed.

Guano

Yes Man and Ozu never left the studio.

Gonard

Indeed.

Guano

And I was teaching you to speak with a british accent

Gonard

[In a british accent] Rather.

Guano

That leaves only 1 person...

Gonard

Gonard.

Guano

What?! You did it?

Gonard

No.

Guano

[referring to Lily] What makes you think she would choose you?

Gonard

[talking while eating spaghetti] Because I am a gentleman!

Excuse me, that's mine.

Gonard

And it is delicious!

Mitsuki

Ooh! Let's go to the Tatami megastore. They've got everything!

Gonard

Yeah! That's where I bought my virtual reality machine. [places toaster on head, covering his eyes]

Mikey

Awesome!

Guano

It's just a toaster he found in the street.

Gonard

It's like I'm... on a roller coaster! Woo hoo! [runs hard into a wall] Oof!

Guano

You just need time to adjust. On Lily's first day, she tripped over a camera. Then on Gonard's first day, he mistakenly ate a box full of light-bulbs.

Gonard

You mean, glass apples.

Guano

What's that on the camera?

Gonard

A UFO?

Lily

That's not a UFO.

Gonard

Lily, I think I know a UFO when I see one. Hey! Who's been eating my UFO?

Mikey

W'ever

Guano

Mikey, you have to do what the script says!

Mikey

Script is just a prison, made of words.

Ozu

You must go back to being the old Mikey and be a good example for kids.

Mikey

W'ever.

Ozu

You have to do what I say! I'm your boss!

Mikey

Boss is just a prison, made of skin.

Ozu

That dosen't make any sense!

Mikey

Well, not to a fossil like you.

Guano

[standing on top of the bus] For the last time, I'm not filled with candy!

Prove it!

Gonard

The candy is mine! Fine, you can have some too.

Guano

Mikey! Stop! Ozu's gonna be furious!

Mikey

Then I got news for Ozu, w'ever!

Lily

And in this corner... Two guys wearing masks! [sumos cheer] And a short, smelly guy wearing a mask!

Guano

OH, COME ON!!