Mikey Simon quotes from Kappa Mikey

Mikey

[looking at a statue of Ozu] Look at him, all smug and bronze like the real Ozu.

Mikey

Okay Mitsuki, I want answers. Who was that guy? Where'd you learn those moves? What did you get me for my birthday? Answer in any order you like.

Mikey

I'm so pathetic. What kind of man can't even overpower a whale with his bare hands?

Mikey

There's no place like home! Right, Gonard?

Mikey

What's her deal?

Mitsuki

You should really be more careful, Mikey.

Lily

Ozu, Mikey is like the messiest, most inconsiderate human being ever!

He is a star that shines too bright!

Mikey

She's the inconsiderate one. She's always nagging me like "Mike-ay, don't eat meals in the shower," "Mikey, don't feed the plants people food."

Lily

He's the worst roommate!

Mikey

She's the worst roommate!

Mitsuki

I just keep that diary as a joke.

Guano

You didn't destroy Ozu's bonsai tree with a samurai sword, did you?

Mikey

Uhhh... kinda.

Mitsuki

Mikey, Ozu's gonna kill you!

Gonard

He'll send you back to America!

Guano

He'll cancel the show!

Mikey

I'll never walk on the moon!

Mikey

What? It's been on my mind.

Mikey

When I will get the game I will be like [does game stuff , and then suddenly he bumps into a fake Mikey]

Mikey

Sorry 'bout that!

No worries, my man.

Mitsuki

There you are Mikey!

Oh? Oh yeah Here I am! Mikey Simon.

Lily

Why are you wearing sunglasses?

Because your beauty is blinding. [Lily likes what he said, and Mitsuki gets a bit angry]

Say , how bout some ice cream? I know this jord next door .. if you're interested?

Mitsuki

You don't want the new video game?

Video games are for kids!

Now who want ice creams shaped in clowns?

Guano

I do! [raises hand]

Not this time pal. And shine your shoes kid, you look like a mess. [walks away]

Guano

I .. don't even have shoes'

Ozu, do you think Mikey stole the coat?

Ozu

If Mikey says he didn't take the coat, I believe him.

But didn't Mikey destroy your precious 500 year old bonsai tree, then lie about it?

Ozu

Yes! [voice building with anger]

And did he buy a pirated video game when you told him not to?

Ozu

Yes! [saying very angrily]

And didn't he reveal Lilymu's secrets to the press?

Ozu

Yes! [saying with fury as he catches on fire]

Mikey

That was a good one.

Let the records show that Ozu is surrounded by flame.

Mitsuki

Ooh! Let's go to the Tatami megastore. They've got everything!

Gonard

Yeah! That's where I bought my virtual reality machine. [places toaster on head, covering his eyes]

Mikey

Awesome!

Guano

It's just a toaster he found in the street.

Gonard

It's like I'm... on a roller coaster! Woo hoo! [runs hard into a wall] Oof!

Mikey

I can't believe we were fired from the show.

Gonard

[Holding a prop and then tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye LilyMu Blaster, I guess I'll never shoot you again. [Holding his costume pants and tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye LilyMu pants, I guess I'll never look awesome in you again. [Holding his pants and then tossing it down a trash bin] Goodbye normal pants. In retrospect, there was nothing wrong with you.

Gonard

So the cat's cute? It's not like it's got anything else going for it.

Here is Kello taking the Silver Medal in Olympic Downhill Skiing!

Mikey

Why did I lend him those skis?

Mikey

Anyway, After the game I picked up Gonard. We ran into a little trouble on the way to Ozu's but it was nothing we couldn't handle.

Mikey

[In flashback] Those Aliens have been tailing us since Montoya Blvd.

Gonard

[In flashback] I'm on it! [Fires laser]

Mikey

[In flashback] Wooooo ha ha ha!

Gonard

[Hand on heart] True Story.

Mikey

W'ever

Guano

Mikey, you have to do what the script says!

Mikey

Script is just a prison, made of words.

Ozu

You must go back to being the old Mikey and be a good example for kids.

Mikey

W'ever.

Ozu

You have to do what I say! I'm your boss!

Mikey

Boss is just a prison, made of skin.

Ozu

That dosen't make any sense!

Mikey

Well, not to a fossil like you.