Lauren Cassidy quotes from Judging Amy

(to Amy as Kyle walks by) How do you cheat with sex?

Kyle

Alcohol, music, and Viagra.

Eric's going to teach me how to spam dunk!

Slam dunk. Basketball, not lunch.

I hate all of my clothes

Maxine

She spent yesterday with Chanelle.

Grandma, look. Your boyfriend's in the paper.

Maxine

Lauren, women my age don't have boyfriends. We have suitors and my ex-suitor is in China doing whatever the Mandarin term is for gallavanting.

Amy

She's right. Here he is.

Amy

I'll shred it first.

Maxine

You'd better.

Maxine

I'd rather snort prune juice up my nose.

Amy

Well, you can do both.

Are you and Grandma fighting?

Amy

No.

Maxine

Yes!

She didn't like The Wise Women Walkers, did she?

No one asked me what I thought was best.

Amy

Well no, I guess we didn't.

I like things the way they are, that's what I think is best.

Mom, you're being ridiculous. This is Peewee hockey. And besides, Grandma played field hockey in school. What's the difference?

Amy

The difference is that you fall on the field and get a grass stain, you fall on the ice and your head splits open...like a melon!

Maxine

They do wear helmets.

Amy

Hey Mom, this is between me and Lauren.

Victor and I don’t like the fact that you and his dad are dating.

Amy

We aren't dating. Going to dinner is not a date. It’s just not.

Maxine

Amy, I'll be back later.

Amy

Where are you going mom?

Maxine

Out to dinner with a friend.

Amy

Are you going on a date?

Maxine

No not a date, just dinner with a male companion

Amy

Dinner with a male companion is a date.

Maxine

It's not if I say it's not.

Amy

[to Lauren] It's not the same thing.

Maxine

I've bought cheesecake!

Did you buy non-dairy?

Maxine

Oh, honey, Grandma doesn't do non-dairy.