Bruce Van Exel quotes from Judging Amy

Amy

[about the woman who wanted Amy to perform her divorce ceremony] She chose me because you have a great rear end.

Bruce

Yes. I do.

Amy

I've seen you rant. You can't unring that bell.

Bruce

Would you like a list of things I've seen you do?

Amy

If I told you I had two tickets to Spain, what would you say?

Bruce

When do we leave?

Amy

Is this a bad idea?

Bruce

Very bad.

There's a rich history behind this kilt.

Bruce

Easy there, tiger, don't go showing what's behind the kilt there.

Bruce

Excuse me, I didn't mean to interrupt, but Ted, the Marshall, just said that your mother was arrested.

Amy

What!?

Bruce

Yeah! He thought we knew. I guess it happened this morning.

Amy

You know when I turn my chair, you know when I wear pants. It's starting to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It's creepy.

Bruce

What's creepy is that you have hair on the back of your neck.

[discussing Amy's solution to the "paper war"] How rad, sticking it to the man!

Bruce

She IS the man.

Well, then who are we sticking it to?

Bruce

My point exactly.

Amy

You came!

Bruce

You called.