(puts her bag on her shoulder) What's-- what's going on? (Joe and Kevin aren't hiding)
KevinUh, Stella?
(stops hiding) We can't believe we forgot your birthday.
BMBig Man
Hold up. Is that what this is about? You forgot Stella's birthday? You're on your own. (walks away annoyed) (thuds) (Nick picks up his bag)
Kevin
Please don't hurt us!
Guys, it's fine. It's okay. Look, I admit I was a little mad at you last night, but then I started thinking about it and your lives are so busy. I can understand forgetting little things.
You're not a little thing. You're Stella.
Kevin
How about we throw you a surprise party at the zoo!? Oops, uh, you know what? We’re gonna do that next year. (Nick shakes his head) I’m just gonna stop talking now.
Or we can celebrate the way we did when we were little kids-- drink hot cocoa and play board games in our pajamas.
How do you always know exactly what I want? Okay, I'm giving you guys one more chance. I know how busy you are. Sometimes you have to stop being rockstars.
Okay, pajama party it is.
Oh, and I'll take a rain check on the zoo...Unless it's the London zoo. I mean, you are rockstars. (Stella walks towards Kevin, Joe and Nick then they walk away from the atrium while Kevin and Stella put their arms on each other)
Thank you very much. (stands up) (door opens) (Nick, Joe and Kevin enter the house after school) Hey, Give me a C!
"Coler." (takes off his bag and sets it down)
What? Oh, yeah. Anyway, I just talked to him.
Did he say anything about my hottie award?
No. No no, but he was so happy with the interview that he's make you guys the cover story.
Kevin
Awesome.
So nothing about the hottie award?
He's gonna be here in an hour.
He can't come in an hour. Stella's coming over to celebrate her birthday.
Well, you can't bail on Coler. The last band to cancel an interview with this guy was the Happy Teens.
JKJoe, Kevin and Nick
Who?
Exactly. All right, now I know Stella will be disappointed, but she'll understand. Do you want me to talk to her? I can be gentle but firm.
No no no, you know what? We'll talk to her. She's our friend.
Thank goodness. That girl scares me. (leaves)
Guys we can't cancel on Stella and we can't cancel on Coler. There's no way out.
Kevin
It's the Happy Teens all over again.
I have an idea. What if we do the interview with Coler upstairs and Stella's party downstairs?
Kevin
But won't that make Stella mad? You know taking time away from her birthday party for some rock star interview?
Plus, Coler wouldn't think we're taking him seriously.
No, not if they don't know about each other.
Kevin
Keep talking.
Look, we go back and forth-- upstairs, downstairs. We've got poles how hard could it be?
Kevin
Keep talking.
It's like we'll be in two places at once.
Kevin
Keep talking.
Kevin
Then stop talking.
Let's do it. (walks upstairs with Joe and Kevin)
Today I want to delve into your personal lives a little bit, all right? I want to get into the essence of your essence. Hmm? (doorbell rings)
(stands up) Our Chinese food is here. I'll be right back. (walks away then slides down the pole and runs to the door to open it) (Macy is knocking then she and Stella enters the house with a cooler and a bag of things) Oh, Macy, Stella. Come on in. (Stella gives him the bag)
Hey. We are all dressed for the pajama party. (she and Macy are taking off their robes) Whoo! (Joe closes the door then he walks to the table to put the bag down) Where are your pajamas?
They're upstairs. I was ironing them.
Kevin
Oh oh ooh! Joe!
I think Kevin just touched the iron. I'll be right back! (runs upstairs while Macy and Stella put their robes on the chairs)
Kevin
Hot! Hot! (holding his pant leg)
arrives then asks Kevin) What did I miss? (sits down)
Kevin
Oh, just having some tea. (then sits down and Robert's assistant walks away)
(walks to the ottoman then sits) I was just asking your brothers how, with all the success and commitments. You find time, you know, for friends and school.
How about I answer that and you run downstairs?
Your pajamas? (Nick takes his pajamas and leaves)
Kevin
(switches chairs) Um, was the song that we wrote after "My Pants." "Your Pajamas."
We like to write about what we know.
Kevin
And what we wear.
(walks to the table) All right, let's get this party started. (Stella carries a tray with hot chocolate)
Oh my gosh. I can't believe that you still have this dopey doctor game. (puts the tray on the table) (Nick takes a cup of hot chocolate and drinks it) I mean, with the fake stethscope and the fake casts and everything. (Nick puts his cup of hot chocolate on the table)
I feel fake sick already.
Well, it means a lot that to me you guys are doing this. I mean, with all your fame and success that you still have time for me.
Stella, you know how we feel about you. And tonight is all about Stella and only Stella. A large order of Stella with Stella on the side.
Gotta run. (runs back upstairs while taking off his pajamas as he goes runs back to the bedroom to sit on his chair again)
Kevin
(sits next to Robert Lincoln Coler and tells him a story) And ever since then I've been a boxer brief man. I hope that answered your question.
Well, actually my question was about your favorite subject in school... um, and I was asking him.
Hey, guys, ready for Dopey Doctor?
Kevin
I'm sure it's nothing. You know what? Let me just go che-- I'll be right back. (takes Nick's pajamas and leaves go to downstairs while wearing them as he buttons it) Hey, guys!
Hey, aren't those Nick's pajamas?
Kevin
Umm, not on Fridays.
Kevin
Doing the interview. What interview? What am I talking about?
Kevin
Um, I should go. Oh, look-- ice! (holds the ice bucket and runs with it upstairs) (Macy and Stella notices something is up)
(tries to wipe the hot beverage off his pants while spinning around) Oh! Oh! Ah.
Kevin
Hi, guys. (offers Nick) Ice? (Nick puts his hand into the ice bucket)
You guys say that you are living the dream. Okay, with all of your success. How do you, as my friend Beyonce likes to say, keep it real?
Well, keeping it real is the most important thing for us.
Friends and family come first.
Kevin
They always have and they always will.
(crying) Well, you could have fooled me, but I guess you did for a little while. (Kevin, Joe and Nick see Stella then they stand up) (she is upset)
(stands up) Isn't that your stylist, Stella Malone?
And didn't you tell me yesterday that she was your best friend?
Yesterday she was. (he, Nick and Kevin are walking away sadly)
(writes) Heavy. Very heavy.
Stella, there you are. I have the Coler interview with JONAS.
I'm really not interested. (starts to walk away)
(reads) "Friendship is a major chord in the life of JONAS. They couldn't stop talking about their stylist and best friend, Stella Malone." (Stella stops walking away)
(turns around and walks back to Macy) Okay, give me that. (takes Macy's cellphone) "Said Joe, we feel blessed to have Stella in our lives. She's my inspiration." Oh.(Joe, Nick and Kevin enter the hallway to walk to Stella and Macy) (turns around while hiding Macy's phone)
Stella, I know you probably never wanna see us again...
Which would be kinda hard, since we go to school together and you work with us...
Kevin
Unless you want to make yourself some really fantastic blindfolds.
We just want you to know that we're really really really really really sorry.
Really really really really really sorry.
I don't know. It seems like a pretty crummy way to treat your inspiration.
"Inspiration"? Wait a minute. You read the article.
How long were you going to make us sweat?
I cleared my afternoon. (chuckles) Guys, what you said in the Coler interview was the best birthday present I could've ever asked for.
Yeah. Thank you. (hugs Joe, Kevin and Nick)
Oh. Guys. (also hugs Joe, Kevin and Nick) (grunts)
Kevin
Come on, five-second dance party! (dance music playing) (he dances) Who’s in it? (music stops) I’m turning into my father. (walks away)
Kevin
Oh, hello there. I didn't see you come in. I was just reading a story. Or should I say "gory"? Would you like to hear it? Of course you would! Ha ha ha ha! So now I bring you the tale of the haunted firehouse. (Nick and Joe walk to Kevin at their bedroom)
Kevin
No one.
Kevin
If this was your jacket, could I do this? (rips)
Did I just hear Joe's jacket rip?
Kevin
Ahh! (he, Nick and Joe are running to their poles to slide down) (Joe and Nick slide down but Kevin holds onto his pole before his hands are magically not on the pole) Ooh! Enjoy the show.(thumps) Ow!
(walks to Kevin and asks) Dude, what's all this stuff?
Kevin
Ghost-tracking equipment so I can finally prove to you guys that we have a ghost.
Ghosts? Please tell me you kept the receipts.
Kevin
Nick, I'm trying to tell you we have a ghost. (holds the book) It's all right here in this book. (gives the book to Joe)
(reads the title) "Ghosts, ghouls, and cleanest hot-dog stands of New Jersey." (flips the pages)
Kevin
It's kept track of every paranormal event plus all the greatest schnitzel in the Garden State.
(tells Kevin) Seriously, the receipts-- (snaps his fingers) hand 'em over.
Kevin
(takes the book back from Joe) According to this, our firehouse is haunted by the ghost of William Smith, a volunteer fireman... (buzzing) (he takes the electromagnetic meter away from Joe) who died unexpectedly at the age of 103.
Kevin, ghosts don't exist. Joe, please talk some sense into him. (Joe puts on goggles and wears them)
Dude, you look sick in night vision. Kevin, where'd you get these. I'm never taking them off.
Kevin
Actually, at the ghost outlet. Check out the ghost cam. If there's a ghost in this room, this camera will detect it.
Dude, that's just a regular video camera.
Kevin
No way! It cost three times what a regular video camera costs plus it has a ghost sticker.
I can see your underwear.
Those aren't x-ray goggles. (tells Joe)
No, your pants are riding a little low, my brother. (Nick pulls his jeans up)
Kevin
Volunteer fireman William Smith, you can haunt but you can't hide. (Joe stops wearing the goggles) Look! (goes around the room then sees the glass of juice)
Kevin
Five minutes ago my glass of juice was full. Who drank it? (Nick walks to the kitchen counter) A thirsty ghost perhaps?
Dude, this is my juice. (picks up his juice) That's yours over there. (points to Kevin's juice near the stove)
Kevin
Oh. (Tom and Frankie walk downstairs)
Dad, would you please tell Kevin that this firehouse isn't haunted?
What? What happened? Did you see the ghost?
What do you mean, the ghost?
Uh, Frankie, why don't you go online and get us our movie tickets?
(sits while telling Kevin, Joe and Nick) Okay, look, when we bought this firehouse, there was this legend of some ghost that haunted the place.
Kevin
I knew it!
Dad, why haven't you ever tell us?
Well, there's-- there's no such thing as ghosts, right? Plus I was afraid he would condemn our souls for eternity if I told on him.
Kevin
Dad, it okay to be frightened. Look at me. I'm scared speechless. But I'm still gonna prove that this place is haunted with the help of the mighty ghost cam.
Isn't that just a regular video camera?
Apparently it's got some type of ghost sticker on it.
Please tell me you kept the receipts.
Kevin
The guy in the van said I didn't need one.
Kevin
Ghost tracker Kevin here, reporting on the dead from inside my bed. Ghost cam shows no signs of ghosts thus making my bed a ghost-free safe zone. Let's keep looking. We'll do a detailed analysis of Nick's desk and check for ghost droppings. (walks to Nick's desk)
(working at his desk) Get out of my face, please. (tells Kevin)
Kevin
All clear. (leaves Nick's desk) There must be a ghost here. (walks to Joe while he lift weights) There's no way Joe could lift all that weight by himself.
Very funny. (knock at door)
Kevin
The ghost must be downstairs knocking at the door.
What kind of lame ghost would knock? (still lifting weights)
Kevin
Maybe he was raised right... when he was alive.
(has a bowl of chili while sitting Kevin's chair) Welcome back, boils and ghouls. We hope our little story didn't put you into intensive "scare"! Mwoh ho ho ho ho ho! (Kevin walks to Joe)
Kevin
(tells Joe) Dude, that's my thing.
Kevin
You don't even do the scary laugh right.
Yeah, I do. Mwoh ho ho ho ho ho!
Kevin
No, it's like this: whoa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
No, Kevin, it's not. (puts the bowl of chili on the table) It's mwoh ho ho ho ho ho!
Kevin
No-- whoa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
JKJoe and Kevin
(continue laughing)
JKJoe and Kevin
scream) (run away)
(enters and sits on the chair while holding the bullhorn) Those guys are so easy. We know there's no such thing as ghosts. Good night and be safe. (winks) (leaves)
MMan
(loud maniacal laughter) Oh, chili. (slurping)
Kevin
No, this book has all the-- (beeping) (Joe reaches for electromagnetic field meter and puts it on his neck) Oh, I'm sorry. (buzzing) All the--if everything ever-- I can't concentrate. Oh, my gosh.
Kevin
(biting his fingernails) Oh no! (takes his hand out of his mouth) I think I wet myself. (crew laughing) (laughs) I just did that reading wrong. Here's one: "what's a mummy's favorite type of music"? "Wrap!" (laughs) Ahh, I know. Oh, thank you for my tea... Frankie-stein! (laughs) He's good. or should I say bad? I'm just getting worse and worse, aren't I? (crew laughing) (laughs)
MMan
Action. (Kevin is reading the book while a hand massages him and he sees it) (crew laughing) All right, that's good. (Kevin removes the hand from his shoulder)
Kevin
Nothing.
(closes his locker) Do you want me to start to leave so you can call me back and then me what's really going on?
Kevin
I'd like that.
Kevin
Wait, Joe.
Kevin
(sighs) In five minutes I have a calculus test.
Yeah, but in 55 minutes we have shop class. There's a rumor going around that Mr. Stone's gonna tell us that how he really lost that finger.
Kevin
(laughs) Good try, but... I don't think anything's shake these five-minutes-to-calculus-test-blues. (blues harmonica playing)
Stop. I think I have something that might change your tune which is technically more honky-tonk than blues. My blues-chew cookie-- best batch I've ever made. (holds the paper bag then gives it to Kevin) Brought one for lunch. It's yours.
Kevin
(about to take the cookie from the bag) Thanks, Nick, I don't think a cookie's gonna help any. (bites the cookie) (moans) Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Mm.
Kevin
Suddenly, I feel like I'm floating on a cookie dough cloud with my best friends the chocolate chipmunks. (gasps) I can see their tree from here. Hi! (coos) (leaves Joe and Nick)
Wow. So, Nick, you got a cookie for me?
Sorry, bro, I only brought that one. Plus Kevin looked like he could really use some cheering up.
Yeah, I could use some cheering up too.
Sorry, you're out of luck. (walks away)
Well, I'm not 100% thrilled with the way my hair came out today! (a female student walks by) Just kidding, you know, just wanted a cookie. My hair is perfect.
Kevin
Thanks to Nick's cookie, I totally had the most fun ever in calculus.
So, how do you think you think?
Kevin
Oh, I absolutely failed. (Macy, Stella and Joe look at him) But thanks to Nick's cookie, I could care less. (Van Dyke walks to Kevin, Joe, Stella and Macy)
Hey, Stells, you busy Saturday?
Van Dyke, Stella's not gonna want to--
(Joe looks at her) I'm not busy.
You are now. You and the van man are gonna hit up the new restaurant. They serve like 17 different types of meat.
Kevin
Dude, you're talking about "El Meat"? That place will wrap anything you want in bacon.
Oh, give me a meaty high five! (he and Kevin high five each other)
That sounds great.(Kevin looks at Stella while smiling) (Joe also looks at Stella then he and Macy look at each other and both of them are smiling) Actually, you know, I'm gonna have to pass 'cause Joe and I have chemistry.
J-- Joe and I have to study for chemistry 'cause we have a chemistry test with chemicals.
Hey, it's cool. Next time, maybe.
Yeah, sure. Maybe. Well, I have history. (groans) Bye. (walks away) (Kevin and Joe leave)
Oh yeah, you're that girl-dude. At the inter-league baseball game, you struck me out seven times.
Actually, it was 11 times.
The officials were. Yeah, they wrote in the record book and on the trophy.
Well, you were dressed like a guy.
Well, you screamed like a girl.
Fair enough. (he walks upstairs)
(realizes that the cookies aren't on the tray) Where are all my blue-chews?
Kevin
(enters the dining room) Oh hey, Nick. You making me some more of your delicious cookies?
There were a dozen in this tray, (puts the oven mitt on the counter) but somebody, Kevin, ate them all.
Kevin
And you automatically blame me. How dare you, sir? On what grounds?
Let's start with your blue lip gloss. (Kevin touches his blue lips)
Kevin
Oh. Um-- (takes the oven mitt from the counter) well, how about we talk about it while you bake some more cookies? (wipes his mouth with the oven mitt)
I'm not making you any more cookies. You obviously have no self-control. (walks to the chair to take his bag)
Kevin
You have got to be kidding.
Do I look like I'm kidding. (puts his bag on his shoulder)
Kevin
Nick, you never look like you're kidding.
I don't look like I'm leaving either, but watch this. (walks away)
(happily slides down his pole) (scatting)
Kevin
You look happy. (Joe continues scatting) Did Nick give you his cookies?
Yeah, but I gave 'em to Frankie.
Kevin
You gave 'em to Frankie?! (runs to Joe) Who gives an eight-year-old cookies?
You're breathing on me again.
Kevin
Sorry.
Did you see what Stella did to Van Dyke yesterday? It was so good, dude. I hope he has an ice pack 'cause he got burned.
Kevin
Well, I hope you're grateful.
Kevin
She totally turned down Van Dyke because of you.
Kevin
She doesn't want you to feel bad.
Kevin
Joe, come over here and let your big brother give you some big brotherly advice. (Joe rolls his eyes then walks to Kevin) Embrace it. Love it. Yeah. Everybody knows you and Stella have a crush on each other, except... for you and Stella.
Kevin
Ask her out?
You mean like outside? (bell rings)
Kevin
You know what I mean.
No no no no no. Me and Stella cannot date. I mean, it could ruin our band, the friendship. Stella knows that.
Kevin
(goes to the kitchen and puts the crumbs from the tray into his mouth) I don't know. Van Dyke invited her to El Meat. She would never turned down the tasty goodness if it wasn't for you.
You're right. The best thing is to tell Stella how I feel right now.
Kevin
So, Joe, did you profit from talking to your older and wiser brother?
Kevin
Good. So did you actually see Frankie eat the cookie or do you think he might still have it? (Joe leaves) (chuckles) (rock music playing)
Jonas · 237 quotes
