(Drop paper cup so the juice spill) You know that was my last glass of cranberry juice? You could’ve just said, oh I don’t know,--"Drink It"?
What is going on between Macy and Joe? (Kevin and Nick are acting suspicious)
(turns around) And by "Joe", you mean?
You know who I'm talking about. Macy and Joe, they've been spending a ton of time together. And they're acting all secretive and weird.
And by "weird", you mean?
I mean weird! Like mysterious, and annoying. Kind of like two of you are acting right now.
NKNick and Kevin
Whatever do you mean, Stella Malone? (Nick continues to try to open his locker)
Look, if Macy and Joe want to be together, that's fine. (Nick still can't open his locker) I'm fine with that.(Nick steps away when Stella is about to remove Nick's locker door) I just don't like being only one that doesn't know about it. (Nick is shocked) Here's your door.(gives Nick the locker door) (Joe arrives and she walks to him) Joe! Joe. Joe--
JoeHey, wanna hang out Friday?
Joe
I thought we'd hang, chill, do some homework, you and me.
Um-- well... yeah, I'm free. Yeah, that sounds really great.
Joe
Cool. Later. (Stella leaves then Kevin and Nick walk to him)
(holding his locker door) Why couldn't you have showed up before she ripped my door off? (shows Joe the locker door)
You owe me a cranberry juice! (he leaves) (Then Nick leaves while he shakes his head)
Joe
Okay, I'll get Stella. Hang with her at school for an hour, then get back here for the big friend-a-versary surprise party.
Okay. let's synchronize our JONAS watches.
Joe
I don't have a JONAS watch... (puts his arm down and looks at Macy's watch) But according to yours, I'll be here 10 past Nick.
Okay but if you get here a quarter past to Kevin, you've blown it.
Joe
Okay. (fist bumps Macy then walks to his pole and slides down) (walks to the front door) (Stella opens the door then enters the JONAS firehouse with a bucket of popcorn and a movie)
Joe
Stella.
Joe
(puts his hand on the wall to block Stella from entering) What are you doing here? We were supposed to meet at school.
Yeah, well, I thought it'd be more fun if we hung out here so I brought popcorn and rented a movie. (wants to enter but Joe is still blocking her from entering) Aren't you going to let me in?
Joe
Let's go get some ice cream. (holds her but she pushed him back via the movie) I know how you love ice cream.
I never eat ice cream unless a guy breaks up with me which has never happened, so I stand by my first statement. (tries to enter again but Joe prevents her)
Joe
Okay, tacos. Broken-hearted or otherwise, everybody loves a good taco. Vamanos.
Joe
Nothing.
(puts the movie on the table then lifts the couch cushions up) Where is she? (trying to find Macy)
Joe
Where is who?
Macy! (throws a cushion at Joe)
Joe
Macy? Why would Macy be here? (Macy slides down Joe's pole and he notices her) Let's dance. (dances with Stella)
Huh? What? Joe, what are you doing? (pushes Joe to the table and turns around to see Macy hanging on the pole) (gasps) I knew it.
Joe
(stands up) (stiffly) Macy? What are you doing in my house? (Stella looks at Joe with an angry look on her face)
Thanks for letting me use your pole, Joe. Bye. (climbs up the pole)
Macy! (Stella pushes Joe to the floor and runs after Macy) Get back here, Macy Misa! Look! If you want to date Joe behind my back, at least say it to my face. (tries to climb up the pole but unable to do it) These arms are made for sewing! (leaves)
Joe
Stella, wait! (runs upstairs after her)
Joe
It's our 15 year friend-a-versary.
Oh no no no. I can't believe it. So when you two are were acting and all dense and "Joe who?"
Just trying to keep a secret.
Oh, you meant our Joe. Oh. Okay.
Joe
How about we crank up the coonmaster 5000?
(gasps) The 5000? That's supposed to be like a thousands times more awesome than the 4000.
We know... thanks to Macy. She helped us plan this entire then with all your favorite stuff. (Nick, Kevin and Joe walk away)
Mace, um-- I think I owe you a huge apology--
No no no. You don't need to apologize for anything. I mean, I know you and Joe are-- well, you're not. I mean, you are so I would never. Because you two-- do anything to get in the way of that.
(laughs) Joe and I, we're just really great friends.
Yeah, great friends who have feelings for each other, but don't want to jeopardize their friendship so they hope that someday they will be brave enough to let their true feelings out.
Okay okay, I admit-- I mean, sometimes I do wonder what it would be like if Joe and I were brave enough. (P.A feedback)
Joe
(grunts) All right, everybody to get the karaoke started, I'm gonna sing one of Stella's favorite songs. Happy Friend-a-versary, Stella. (cheering) (ballad playing) (Stella smiles)
Joe
(sings) You
You know, I think it might be safer if Joe and I are just friends.
Hey. (stops mingling and walks to Joe)
Joe
Hi. (walks to Stella)
Has anyone ever told that you have a really nice voice?
Joe
A few people here and there.
You know, you might even have a future as a singer someday.
Joe
Oh! All over my friend-a-versary shirt.
Don't worry, nothing a little seltzer won't get right out.
Joe
Just like when we first met. Except you don't have pig-tails and you don't punch me that much anymore.
Do you need me to punch you more often, Joe?
Joe
Maybe a little bit.
(punches Joe) (blow thuds)
Joe
Thanks. Ow.
Well, that's what friends are for. (hugs Joe)
Joe
(filming the competition) I will be recording this historic showdown. Don't worry, if anything embarrassing happens, it will be going on the internet.
All right, as with all family competitions, we'll go in birth other. So Kevin, you're first. (Nick stands by Joe)
Okay. Don't like weight. Don't like the color. Don't like the circumference.
Kev, would you just go already, please?
Joe
Come on!
Here we go. Ready? Oh, I'm out.
You want to lie down? (pats Kevin) (
Joe
(reads a page from a book while holding the video camera) "And then she says, 'I do."
132 to 3. Sorry, dude, I think I just won.
Joe
(laughs) This is classic.
Joe
I'm not on this ride anymore. (stops filming and closes the video camera then leaves with Tom)
Or, are you? Looks like the little learned his lesson. (whip cracks) Or did he? (Nick chases Kevin)
Okay. We've got guitar-shaped pancakes for Kevin, Crunchy Cat cereal for Nick and peanut butter with eggs for Joe. (kissed Joe) Ah.
Joe
Mom, there's a little too much trees in my eggs.
And I like my dish-water a little less soapy.
I love the underwear that came with my pancakes. It's a great source of fiber.
Oh my-- (laughs) I am so sorry. I think I'm doing too many things at once. (walks to Frankie) It's been really hectic since the baby was born the was born.
Mom, I'm eight and a half.
Guys, I think it's time. (tells Nick and Joe)
Mom, dad, you both seem a little stressed. So we got you a present-- an exclusive resort vacation.
Joe
We were gonna wait for your anniversary, but you guys look like you could use our present right now.
Plus, we couldn't remember when your anniversary was.
Guys, that is so sweet. But I can't possibly leave you alone. No.
"How many times can you enjoy a sunset balloon ride... over hand-raked prestine beaches while eating exotic delicacies"? Hmm. (takes the brochure and leaves)
Dad, you're gonna love it.
No no no no. I couldn't possibly leave. Who would take care of all this, the band business? All right, I'm the grease that keeps the JONAS machine running smoothly.
Dad, I think we can get by without your grease for a week.
I don't know. I've never left the band business in anybody else's hands before.
They give you massages while you float in the lagoon. Get up.
I'll send you a postcard. (Nick gives Joe and Kevin a high five then Nick is excited)
Bye. Oh thank you so much. (hugs Kevin)
Okay, boys, now remember. no monkey business.
Mom, where would we even get a monkey?
Joe
Let alone with a head for business?
(on the phone while holding a business card) Hello, Monkey Land? (monkey squeals) (whispers) I'm gonna have to call you back. (hangs up)
All right, look, I've complied a list here to help you guys define "monkey business." Let's call this daddy's big list of don'ts. (unfolds the list and hands it to Joe but Joe is shocked) (Joe looks at the long list)
Come on, it's time to leave all your cares and worries behind.
Well, just watch the junk food. And don't fry your eyes playing video games.
Tom! Dolphins are waiting patiently to swim with. (exits)
Yes, dear. (leaves) (door closes)
Joe
Yea-- (Joe is about to be excited but Nick stops him)
You know, don't let any strange people into the house, okay? (runs back into the house) And stay away from my pinecone collection and pretty much everything that's breakable. And leave the computer on so we can video chat while we're gone.
BMBig Man
(enters) Sorry, chief. Time to have fun. (Tom leaves) This man needs a vacation. Lock the doors quick. (leaves then Kevin closes the doors)
All right, now you're good. (tells Joe)
Joe
Yes! (throws the list) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Come on! Yeah!
Joe
Dudes, we have the whole place to ourselves, let’s do something crazy. Like, brush without flossing or floss without brushing. Better yet, run with scissors! No. Too dangerous. Run without scissors!
Joe
Whoo-hoo! (runs around the living room back and forth) (hooting, yelling)
Don't worry, he'll tire himself out soon enough. (he and Nick are watching Joe run back and forth)
Joe
(stops running back and forth) (sighs) Whoa. I just tired myself out. (sits down and puts his feet on the table)
Careful! That was grandma's. Dad's list specifically says "no knick-knack destruction."
That's why we don't put our feet on the table, Joseph.
Joe
Kevin, I just did.
I'm in charge and I'm enforcing the rules.
Sounded like someone just said "Kevin's in charge."
Well, I'm the oldest and the tallest and I have the longest sideburns.
Well, as the most responsible and least likely to measure leadership skills by facial hair, maybe I should be in charge.
Joe
Yeah, Kevin, Nick's in charge. (puts feet on the table)
Joe, take your feet off the table.
Joe
I take that back, Kevin's in charge. (puts feet on the table again)
Joe, take your feet off the table.
Joe
You two are tearing this family apart. (leaves)
Joe
Come on, guys. We're at the prime of our lives here. (stands up) I mean, it's our job to have fun while our parents are gone. What's wrong with us?
You know what they say? All work and no play makes... something something something.
Joe
Yeah, sure. Guys, let's get this party started with a round of smoothies before dinner.
That's both risky and exciting. (stands up) I'm in.
(stands up) I'd like mine with extra whipped cream.
Joe
Whoa Nick Nick Nick. Let's not get crazy here.
You're right, lost my head there for a minute. I'm sorry. (he, Joe and Kevin are going downstairs to the kitchen)
Joe
One boysenberry, butternut, bacon, blueberry with a... twist. (Kevin enters) (Joe pours one smoothie into a cup and puts a bacon with it and gives it to Kevin)
(drinks the smoothie) That is one smooth smoothie. Hmm. And cold. Ow. Ow. (touches his head) Brain freeze! (grunts) (dull thud) (he drops to the floor and Joe ignores him)
(looks at the refridgerator) Joe, the light's off. Did you unplug the refridgerator? (turns around and shows the unplugged fridge then asks Joe)
Joe
Had to so I could plug in my third blender.
Dude, mom crammed the week's worth of food in here for us. (closes the fridge then takes the cord and plugs it back on the power outlet)
runs to the fridge and opens it) Save the ice cream and icy treats first!
Joe
What about the vegetables?
Let 'em die. It'll be the perfect crime. (a montage of him, Joe and Nick taking out everything from the fridge and set them on the counter)
We've gotta get these kids out of here.
Joe
I've tried, but they're like rabbits-- wild rabbits who love to party.
Isn't that a little renduant? All rabbits love to party.
I just hope dad doesn't call again.
CVComputer voice
Chat request. (Nick looks at Kevin and Joe)
(opens the computer again and turns it on) Answer it. (he, Joe and Kevin see their mom video chatting them)
Hi, mom. (he, Joe and Kevin wave to her) We thought you were dad.
If you think I'm dad, I'm definitely not wearing that bikini I packed.
Joe
Dad's been calling like every five minutes.
Well, you know, your father. He gets worried if he's got nothing to worry about.
Well, tell him, to go get worried because there's nothing to be worried about here.
Joe
Yeah, mom, no party, no broken vase. (two girls are on the couch (laughing) No jumping on the couch! No jumping on the couch.
Oh, I'm not worried. Ever since you were little, you guys have been trustworthy and responsible, not to mention adorable.
KJKevin, Joe and Nick
Thanks, mom.
I mean, soon you'll be moving out on your own. And I won't get to spend as much time with you, what with all the touring and-- you know what? I don't want to spend another minute away from you. I don't. (picks up the phone and calls the pilot) Captain Boulder, we're turning this jet around. We're going home... now. (hangs up the phone)
I think I liked it better when dad called.
All right, mom are about two hours away.
Joe
There’s not enough time. There’s not enough time! There's not enough time!
Joe
I'm sorry, Nick. But there’s not enough time.
(beeps) There, problem solved.
And see? The plane's not moving anymore. I think I bought us some valuable time.
Let me explain something to you. The plane still moves in the air even if it doesn't move on the screen, you ding-dong.
Ding-dong?! (scoffs) Well, you're a knucklehead.
Knucklehead? Really, Kevin? Knucklehead?
Joe
Guys, stop before somebody else calls somebody a goofball and we all regret it. Nick closes the computer) (the fan club, Stella and Macy enter the house) (fan club screaming) (Kevin, Joe and Nick are pointing the other way then the fan club looks that way but they find that Kevin, Joe and Nick aren't at the living room) (Kevin, Joe and Nick are hiding at the kitchen)
Joe
What do you think mom's gonna do first, cry, scream or faint?
Probably all three of them, but we won't be there to see because we'll be dead.
Hey, guys, awesome party. Thanks for the invite. (she and Macy are crawling to the kitchen to hide with Kevin, Joe and Nick)
Joe
We're not throwing a party. We're trying to get everyone out of the house.
We've got to get this place cleaned up before mom and dad get home.
Which is in less than two hours.
And before you go there, pausing the little plane on the computer doesn't help. (Nick shakes his head in agreement)
Wait, all you guys need is this place cleaned up? No problem. (stops hiding) Hey, girls! And Fred... (he waves) (points to the floor) See those potato chips on the floor? They're left over from JONAS. (the fan club are looking at the floor) (fan club screaming) (the fan club runs to the
Joe
They’re a little scary.
Macy, you are queen of the JONAS heads. Please please please take back the presidency. No offense. I'm just not cut out for this kind of... weird.
Always. (she and Stella rekindle their friendship then they hug) Unless you try to take over my fan club again. (Kevin, Nick and Joe are walking to the other side of the kitchen counter) Then you should probably watch your back.
Joe
(holds a plate) Hey, anybody want to scrape off real cheese crust from an actual JONAS plate? (three members of the fan club clean the plate)
Who wants to vacuum the JONAS living room? You get to keep anything you find in the bag. (whirring) (Fred vacuums)
Okay, uh, who wants to help me scrub the bathroom? All right. (rock music playing) (the fan club members are cleaning the kitchen at a fast pace)
(rings loudly) Mom and dad alert! Places! (Kevin, Joe and Nick are putting back everything in their right place) (Tom opens the door for him and Sandy then they enter the house)
Hey, guys, we're back! (Kevin is playing chess with Frankie, Nick is on his guitar and writing a song while Joe is painting a picture)
The place looks spotless, Joe's not a blond. And it looks like Frankie's about to beat Kevin in speed chess. (walks to Kevin and Frankie)
Game. Well, everything, looks normal to me.
Just taking care of business, dad. (puts the guitar on the couch)
(squeals happily) I missed you guys so much. (Kevin, Nick, Joe and Frankie are walking to Sandy) (Sandy happily hugs Kevin, Joe, Nick and
We would’ve been home sooner, but the plane made an unexpected stop.
She doesn’t mean, “In mid-air”.
(tells Tom) See, I told you there was nothing to worry about. (stops hugging then notices the vase) Hey, who moved grandma's vase? (walks to the table) You guys know how fragile this is. (Tom walk to her) (she picks up part of the vase) Grandma's vase. (she hands the top of the vase to Tom) (the bouncer walks by while holding the disco ball) (Frankie pays the bouncer money then leaves)
Did anything happen that we should know about? (Sandy is mad) (he asks Kevin, Joe, Nick and Frankie)
Joe
Don't think so.
Why do you ask? (four members of the fan club walks by carrying cleaning supplies and leave)
Are you sure there's nothing you'd like to explain to us?
Joe
Don't think so.
We missed you. (he, Joe and Nick walk to Tom and Sandy to give them a hug)
We missed you too. (zapping) (Kevin, Joe, Nick, Frankie, Sandy and Tom are noticing the electrocuted fridge) (buzzes)
KNKevin and Nick
Joe was in charge! (Joe looks at Kevin and Nick)
Joe
O!
Dad, we’ve got school. How many more letters are there gonna be?
I was going to spell "Coler." As in Robert Lincoln Coler.
The most respected music critic in the business.
Joe
(sits) I hate that guy. He's so pedantic, pompous, pretentious.
It looks like someone's been reading their word-of-the-day calendar.
Yeah, well, he loved your last album.
Joe
(stands up and walks to Kevin) That Coler? He's so cool. Some would say sagacious.
Kevin Watch you mouth.
Joe
It means "shrewd." May 23rd.
Kevin I thought it was impossible to get an interview with that guy.
Yeah, it is. It is, which is why it's so unbelievably awesome I got us an interview!
Kevin No way.
Joe
Awesome.
(laughs) Let's celebrate. Five-second dance party. Go. (dance music playing) And we're dancing. Let's dance it.
Joe
Mom, dad's dancing again! (tells Sandy)
Come on, you guys. (Kevin, Nick and Joe are going downstairs) All right, we'll do more dancing later. Robert Coler.
Okay okay, you wore me down. You can have your present now. Happy birthday.
Thank you. (takes the present) What is it? Is it chocolate. I bet it's music. Is it a scarf? Two scarves? I totally love scarves. Oh, this is my 10th birthday. (sees the picture) Joe, Nick, Kevin and me, we sat around in our pajamas playing that board game dopey doctor and we drank hot chocolate with those little mini marshmallows in it.
Macy, is this--is this you?
I kind of added myself in. I know I didn't know you guys back then, but if I did, I'd be right there, right?
Oh, thank you so much. I love it.
You're welcome. (Stella puts her present back into the gift bag and stands up with Macy) So... what are the guys doing for your birthday this year.
(picks up her school bag) Oh, well, you know they haven't said anything about it yet.
I'm sure they're throwing an awesome party. So find something great to wear.
Oh, I can't wait. I'm so excited, I can't even sit. (tries to sit but can't) See? (tries to sit again) Nope, not gonna happen.
Joe
(enters the atrium) (drumroll) I have a huge surprise for you.
Joe
We are gonna remember this day forever.
Joe
At 6:00, JONAS has an interview with Robert Lincoln Coler.
He's who? (drumroll stops) I mean, that's great. He's huge.
Joe
Yeah, so we need you to come over early and help out with all the wardobe. Kevin thinks we should wear leather vests.
Joe
With no shirts?
I'm gonna get there early.
Joe
Perfect. I've gotta go-- science. You get there late, you have to sit in the front and Mr. Engel’s a spitter. Bye. (runs out of the atrium)
Joe forgot your birthday.
No. No, he didn't. They do this to me every year. They try to psyche me out. Obviously he's throwing me a surprise party.
It's just a birthday. (tries to sit but can't) Okay, maybe a little excited. (both squeal) (Macy and Stella jump then leave the atrium)
Jonas · 237 quotes
