“The Tanned Triangle” quotes from Jersey Shore

I wait till the last minute to shave, I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on 'cause you feel fresh. These are rules to live by, shave last minute, haircut the day-of, maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta do the guido handbook.

With me and Sam, it's not a matter of if she wants to hook up with me, it's a matter of just when I decide.

Everybody loves me, babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal.

The Ron-Ron Juice is the shit that gets the night going, I mean whenever that shit comes out it's always a filthy night.

I feel like this job is beneath me, I'm a bartender. I do, like, great things.