TV show quotes
I can't stand it anymore! "Baa, baa"! That's all you ever say!
What do you expect? They're sheep.
Yeah, that's true, but-- Hey, whoa, you talked! You opened your mouth and real words came out!
Boy, nothing gets by you, does it?
Finally, someone to talk to! This is great! We can discuss poetry, and music, macramé! We can have an intelle-cellec-cellec-ellectual exchange!
Do you mind? You're-- You're standing on my lunch.
Oh, I'm sorry.
So, you're in the spooky storytellers club without me, are you? And I can't be in the club because I'm a girl, am I? And girls are scared of ghosts and things, are they?! YOU BOTH KNOW QUITE WELL THAT I'M NOT AFRAID OF GHOSTS, OR MONSTERS, OR SPOOKY STORIES!!!
Uh, Piggley? I think she's mad.
Uh, Dannan... We know you're not scared of those things, and you're great at telling spooky stories, but Hector says--
HECTOR?! ...Well now, if Hector says it, it must be true. Scary stories told by brave boys like yourself just might be too much for a delicate thing like me.
Really?
Oh. You're not mad, then?
Mad? Ha! Don't be silly. You boys go on ahead to your little storytelling club. Have a scary good time! I insist! Hee-hee! [steps out the barn] It's going to be a lot scarier than you think it'll be!
So, what do you do for fun around here?
We graze. Then we walk. Sometimes we mosey. Then we graze again. Walk, graze, walk, graze, walk--
Okay, okay, got it. [watches the flock] Not exactly overachievers, are they?
[offended] Hey, this is my flock you're talking about. They may not be the smartest.
[A sheep stands under an overturned bucket wedged between a fence and a wall, as water drips on its head.]
Or the second smartest.
[A sheep knits a sock with its own wool.]
[embarrassed] Or the third.
[A sheep blows on another sheep's propeller beanie.]
[sighs with annoyance] Is this gonna go on long?
Usually an hour and a half.
I think it's time for some changes around here.
[being pampered by three lady sheep] So then I said, "What do you think I'm made of, wool?"
[The lady sheep giggle.]
Agnes! Lucille! Mary-Lou! What are you doing?! Whoa, look at the shine on those hooves!
Dazzling, aren't they? Uh, you missed a spot.
Look, pal, all you've done since you've got here is insult me and my flock. And now if I didn't know better, I'd say you're trying to take over as head sheep.
He's cute, but a little slow.
That's it! We are going to settle this the way they do in Brooklyn!
You mean...?
You got it! A dance-off! Hit it! [dances]
Not bad, but you're looking at a three-time golden hooves champion.
[Wiley and the other sheep dance together while the flock watches.]
Well, flock, which one of us has the magic feet?
[After a beat, the entire flock blows a raspberry. Wiley and the gray sheep slump sadly.]
Hoo... Tough audience.
Ferny and I really wanted to like Hector's version of "The Hand with the Thirteen Fingers". We truly did. But we couldn't help remembering how much more fun and scary it was when Dannan had told us the story the summer before. Of course, now that I think of it, I don't know if it would have really mattered if Hector had been the greatest storyteller of all time or not. For Ferny and myself, something was missing. And that something was Dannan.
Okay, and then they heard this noise... Oh, wait. Did I say first it was a ghost ship? Okay, sorry. [laughs] It was a ghost ship. [honks] So, they heard this noise, and oh no, it's not a ghost ship! Okay, everybody, forget I said that! They hear the noise, and that's the ghost ship!
Jakers. I'd love to hear Dannan tell this one.
Oh, me too.
So, now the ghost ship, honk, comes up next to the other ship. Wait, wait just a second. And there are ghosts on it! Honk. On the ghost ship, that is, on the other ship, I'm not really sure, so we'll just pretend there's just like a giant squid.
Well, excuse me, boys, but I heard you were telling scary stories here. Would it be alright if I listened in?
I know she's a girl, but I'm hoping you might make an exception for your own mother.
Well, uh... Being a mother isn't the same as being a girl.
It's okay, Mammy. You can stay.
Oh, thank you, boys.
See, Hector? Girls can be just as scary as you. Scarier, even!
This farm's not big enough for the two of us.
You are right, fuzzy, so there's only one thing left to do. A vote. Okay, flock. It's up to you. Who will it be? A multi-talented, curly-wooled sheep about town such as myself... or him?
[The flock looks at Wiley and the gray sheep. Wiley smiles and waves at his flock. Soon, one by one, the flock walks up to Wiley's side, much to the surprise of the gray sheep.]
Well, I... I have to hand it to you, Wiley. You are the leader of one loyal flock.
I am? [the other sheep nod]
And you're a pretty good dancer, too. [dons his top hat] Maybe we'll meet up again when I've brushed up a bit. [dances and leaves whistling]
[Wiley and the flock wave goodbye.]
Uh, so, sweetheart, what did you think of my dancing? Be honest. [the sheep whispers to Wiley] Not that honest. [laughs] You sweet-talker.
My oak tree is ancient!
My rowan tree is prehistoric!
Who wants to get Uncle Wiley a pillow? Who wants to get Uncle Wiley an ice pack?
A flower? After what you kids put me through, you think a flower is gonna make it all better?
Okay, no more treasure hunt. After all, the best things in life are free. If only I could believe that.
Sir, Piggley Winks from the Tara School News here! Are you lost?
Eh, no, I...
Have you been robbed?
No.
Did your house burn down?
Oh, I hope not!
Have you seen any good movies lately?
[frustrated] I... I'm just looking for me car!
Aha! Your car has been stolen! Tell me, who do you think might have stolen it, then?
Well, it's not stolen! I just can't remember where I parked it. [laughs] There it is!
Oh, it's too bad he found his car. That would've made a fine story.
News isn't about pretending. It's about telling the truth.
But we're not finding any interesting truth to tell.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
