[on a crossword puzzle] A five-letter word meaning "elf".
Gnome.
“The Creepy Cabbages of County Galway” · Season 2, Episode 14
In this episode: Grandpa Piggley Winks (5), Ferny (3), Elly Winks (3), Padrig Winks (2), Wiley the Sheep (1), Dannan O'Mallard the Duck (1)
Piggley, you're supposed to be in bed.
But I love scary shows! Scary Monster Theater is me favorite!
Scary Monster Theater is for children. Creepy Theater is for grown-ups.
That's why it's on after your bedtime.
[Piggley is listening to the radio show from inside his bedroom.]
SWProfessor's wife
[on radio] Quiet night, professor?
PProfessor
[on radio] Indeed. Maybe, a little too quiet.
Piggley, are you under your covers?
Uh, yes, mam, I'm under me covers. [snickers]
SWProfessor's wife
It's a beautiful night.
PProfessor
Beautiful, but still too quiet.
SWProfessor's wife
[gasps] What's that? [panicked] In the cabbage field!
[Piggley becomes scared as he keeps listening, and hides under his covers.]
PProfessor
[gasps] IT'S ALIVE!!! CABBAGE!!! ALIVE!!!
What are you two doing flying about in your noisy rocket like that while I'm trying to study?
Uh, there's no need for studying, Dannan. I'm having a dream.
With cabbages! [chuckles]
Why do you have cabbages in your dream, Piggley?
Probably because I listened to the Creepy Theater radio show just before I fell asleep.
[furious] WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT-WHAT?! You were listening to Creepy Theater? [Piggley guiltily nods] Didn't your parents tell you that's a grown-up show?
I figure I'm grown-up enough, Dannan. [after a beat, frowns]
Oh, you think so? Well, I won't be any part of a dream that comes from disobeying your parents!
Okay, Dannan! But you're going to miss out on all the fun!
Fun? Ha! Mark my words, Piggley. No good'll come of this rule-breaking stuff!
CVCabbage vendor
Cabbages! I've got cabbages! Get your cabbages today!
NMiss Nanny
How would you boys like some free sweets?
Sweets?
Oh, thank you, Miss Nanny! Piggley, you should've been dreaming about this from the start.
NMiss Nanny
Oh, how about something extra special? I have just the thing in me shop. Wait here. [goes into her shop]
Oh... I'd rather have sweets than fly in a wagon any old day of the week.
You can have sweets anytime, Ferny.
Right, but I'd still rather have 'em.
NMiss Nanny
[comes out of her shop] Here you go. Have some nice, chocolate-covered... cabbage!
CABBAGE?!
NMiss Nanny
If you don't like chocolate, how about a peppermint cabbage?
[Piggley and Ferny gasp.]
NMiss Nanny
Or perhaps butterscotch cabbage? Cotton cabbage? A cabbage toffee? [becoming gradually hysterical] A cabbage cake? Lolly-cabbage-pops! [Piggley and Ferny run away] Tutti-frutti cabbage! CABBAGE-SICLES!!!
You know what they say, Bernie. You are what you eat. [Bernie has been turned into a cabbage with hooves] So I'm thinking, maybe you should lay off cabbages for a little while. [the other sheep are all cabbages] In fact, the whole flock should lay off cabbages!
[A carrot with hooves walks up.]
Except for you, Ethel. You should cut down on the carrots. [the carrot droops sadly]
Piggley, you've got to stop dreaming about cabbages!
I can't, Ferny!
[frantically shakes Piggley] Then wake up! Come on! WAKE UP!!! [splashes a bucket of water on Piggley]
It's no good, Ferny.
What if you never wake up?
Let's make a promise. Right here and right now. That we'll stay together always and none of us will ever become a cabbage.
Raloo Oath.
[Ferny spits into his hand, as does Piggley. But as soon as they shake hands, Piggley notices in horror that Ferny's hand has turned into a big green leaf.]
Ferny! Your hand!!
Huh? Oh, Janey Mack! Oh. It's alright. [shows his other hand, which is also a green leaf] See? The other one's just like it. [laughs]
[Ferny turns into a cabbage.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.