Class, over the next few weeks, I will be visiting each of your families for supper. The first family I will be visiting is... Piggley's.
[Everyone, including Piggley, is shocked.]
“Teacher Creature” · Season 1, Episode 7
In this episode: Mr. Hornsby (4), Grandpa Piggley Winks (2), Wiley the Sheep (2), Dannan O'Mallard the Duck (2), Ferny (1), Padrig Winks (1), Elly Winks (1), Seamus (1)
Are you tellin' me that Mr. Hornsby is going to be comin' right into me very own home?
It's unnatural, I tell ya! It shouldn't be allowed! Why, I've never heard of such a thing in all me life!
Oh. Well, I thought you really like Mr. Hornsby, Dannan.
I do... in the classroom. That's where he belongs, and that's just where he'd ought to stay!
[Piggley imagines how Mr. Hornsby's visit to his family will go.]
Well, Hornsby...
That's Mr. Hornsby!
[clears her throat] Would you like some--
Please raise your hand before speakin'.
[Piggley nervously slides underneath the table.]
Ohhhh, sit up, young man!
[Piggley sits up straight. This causes Molly to laugh.]
Who is laughin'?!
[Piggley points to Molly, who immediately sits up straight.]
[tuts disappointed] Oh... [starts grading the family one by one] "F", "F", "F"... "F".
[Molly pats her chest, then burps. The family gasps in horror. Mr. Hornsby is furious.]
[dramatically clearing his throat] Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-em?! That is one more big... fat... "F".
[Wiley and the flock are in the barn, itching all over.]
Hopping hairballs! What is this?! We're infested! Inhabited! Lemme put it this way, flock. We got bugs! I know what you're thinkin'. Where do they come from? Why are they here? Should we charge rent?
[The flock tries to pick the bugs off of each other.]
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Not like that! That's how monkeys do it! We got no thumbs.
[Piggley imagines Mr. Hornsby overworking him and Ferny.]
Alright, now. Two plus two! Four plus four! The square root of 9! Name the seven wonders of the world. What was William Shakespeare's middle name? You'd better pick up the pace, boys. You remember what happened to your little friend Dannan.
[Dannan is sitting on a stool peeling potatoes while wearing a dunce cap.]
[Wiley and the flock are still itching.]
What can we learn from our friends, the warthogs?
[One of the sheep, Carl, excitedly raises his hand and bleats.]
Let's pretend Carl is a warthog. [Carl is offended] A big, fuzzy, wooly warthog. Eh... A good-looking warthog. Hey, handsome! But he's crawling with bugs! However, being a smart - oddly alluring - warthog, Carl knows exactly what to do. Stop, drop, and roll!
[Wiley sends Carl rolling across the field.]
And like the clever warthog, Carl knows to clean his wool by covering himself in earthen filth.
[Carl rolls over Wiley.]
[annoyed] Unfortunately, being Carl... [Carl runs him over again] He doesn't know when to stop! [Carl runs him over once more] That is one clean sheep.
[Piggley, Ferny, and Dannan try to get an apple for Mr. Hornsby by pulling a tree branch down to them with ropes. After struggling, the apple is now dangling within Dannan's reach.]
Oh. There it is! I'll get it!
[narrating] Dannan reached out to pluck the little beauty, and...
[As soon as Dannan plucks the apple off the tree, Piggley and Ferny are launched through the air, screaming as they fly out of the orchard, then out of Ireland, then into space.]
[narrating] We flew into the air, and shot right through the stratosphere. Clear out into space we flew! All the way to the surface of the moon! Where we were met by a couple of crazy-looking moon men!
SSSean, Seamus, and Meg
Grandpa!
Uh, what's the problem, children?
MMeg
[in disbelief] You flew all the way to space and landed on the moon.
Well... Maybe we didn't actually fly into space.
There once was a student who got in big trouble for something he didn't even do.
What didn't he do?
His homework.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.