Dark Finn quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Valmont

Twelve Talismans, four Enforcers, three each.

Uh, boss... there's only three of us since Tohru cashed in his frequent flyer miles.

So, I'll just hang on to these-

Hak Foo

Hungry crane spears fish!

Valmont

Everyone remembers Hak Foo?

[nervously] Heh, hiya Hak!

Or do you prefer Foo?

Valmont

Master Foo. The Black Tiger shall be your new lieutenant.

Astral projection? Motion to the motionless? Yin yang? How come I get all the loser powers?

Freeze!

Hak Foo

Mule kick!

No fair, you're not even using yours!

Hak Foo

The Horse for healing - I am not easily injured. The Rooster for levitation - I already fly. The Dog for immortality - there is not a man alive who can vanquish me!

[intimidated] It's cool. Trade ya?

Hak Foo

Baby.

Score!

Jackie

Look out!

Yeah right, like I'm gonna fall for tha-

Ugh, immortality hurts.

We must have left millions on that beach! What is the deal, Big-V?

[revealing himself in possession of Valmont's body] Valmont cannot hear you!

Uh-oh.

Shendu?

He's back...

Your Talismans, Mr. Shendu.

We was takin' care of 'em for ya. [chuckles nervously, as the Enforcers try to leave, with Shendu blocking their path]

Keep your Talismans, they no longer matter to me.

Wow...

Valmont

[confused] How did I- Where is the money?!

Uhh, Big-V? Shendu's back.

Valmont

What?! WHERE?!

Inside you!

Valmont

....Wha- That's preposterous- [walks past a mirror to see Shendu's reflection] AH! Get out!

Trust me, Valmont, the feeling is mutual. But for now, you and your thugs will assist me, or perish! [breathes fire from Valmont's mouth at the enforcers]

Got it!

We're swinging to your beat!

Tohru, buddy!

You're alive!

Good to see you. [grabs the enforcers and throws them against the wall]

Tohru's a traitor!

The portal of Xiao Fung the Wind Demon lies on the southern land mass, four million and one cubits above the southern hemisphere, beyond the blasted forest, nestled between the rolling hills.

Uh, the only thing I see nestling...

...is Hollowlands Penitentiary!

Valmont

You mean to tell us that the demon portal lies within those prison walls, Shendu?

Do not take that tone with me, Valmont! I did not build the fortress!

I've heard of busting out of jail, but breaking in?

Whoa! We struck demon.

Xiao Fung

Not any demon. Xiao Fung, Demon of the Wind.

Uh, like breaking wind?

Xiao Fung

[blows them backwards with his powers] Like breaking bones!

Xiao Fung

Aah, the sweet scent of freedom!

Uh, actually, Your Breeziness, sir? You're not exactly free.

Xiao Fung

No?

You're in the hoosegow!

Prison!

Xiao Fung

This "prison" is paradise compared to the ghastly abyss I escaped.

Whatever you say, chief, but outside's even better! Beaches, movies...

Yeah, so why don't you huff and puff and blow this house down?

Xiao Fung

Where is Shendu?

Shendu's in Valmont.

And Valmont's in solitary.

Xiao Fung

Hmm. If I do not free this Valmont, I will be burdened with freeing my brothers and sisters. Very well.

Whoa, you guys can do that?

Xiao Fung

Concealment seems prudent. Demons seem to stick out like sore thumbs in this modern world...

Aw, we're wandering anyway! I wanna see Clark Gable's old house!

Frankly Ratso, I don't give a darn!

As the thunder claps, so do I applaud your skill, brother!

Shendu! You may call me, "Master"!

...Of course...master!

Ohh...Tssss....

Valmont

I will put up with a lot, Shendu. But I draw the line at wearing a dress!

This is a sorcerer's robe!

[laughing] Shen-dudet! [bows]

Pretty dress.

Very becoming!

[annoyed] Where is my archive?

Uh, Chan's got it.

But it wasn't our fault!

Yeah, that's right! The Shadowkhan were there too!

The Shadowkhan are my puppets. They do only what I command! Are you suggesting that this is MY fault?!

Hak Foo

[in bandages] I am telling you, it was the Shadowkhan who did this to me!

[the rest of the Dark Hand are also in bandages] Chan kicked our butts too!

Yeah, you don't hear us lying about it.

Need I remind you, the Shadowkhan do only what I command? Come, minions!

...minions?

Valmont

It would seem you have lost your touch, Shendu.

I HAVE NOT LOST MY TOUCH!

[in a disguise] Finn to Ratso, I'm in position. [knocks on Uncle's Shop door]

Too busy, come back later!

[with an accent] But I am a vealthy art collector!

[opens door] Welcome to Uncle's Rare Finds!

Chan?!

Everybody's an astronaut.