Zim quotes from Invader Zim

Zim

GIR!

GIR

It's ME! I was the turkey all along!

Zim

I was wondering what that turkey was doing there. GIR! I'm delaying the brain parasite plan for now. I want you to-

GIR

I was the turkey! Me!

Zim

Yes...so you were...

Zim

Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!

Dib

O...kay, there's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

Zim

NOW PREPARE YOURSELF DIB, AS I BRING OUR ROYAL AUDIENCE TO THE DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND!!!!

Dib

[hiding on shelf with rake} but I don't wanna watch that....

Zim

Oh, okay then... WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!!!

Zim

My Tallest! My Tallest, hey, my Talleeeeest! My Tallest! My, my, my my Tallest! My Taaaaallest! Hey! Hey! Hey over here, my Tallest! My Tallest? My TallEST! My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey, my Tallest, my Tallest, my Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Tallest! My Tallest! My TaaaaaallEST! My Tallest. My TALLest! Hey! MAH TALLEEEEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! MY TALLEST! My TaaAAALLest! Hey! Hey! My Tallest? Uh, hi! My Tall! Hey my Tallest! It's me! Look at me! My Tallest? My Tallest! My Tallest?

I was curious to see when you would shut up on your own. But it's been THREE hours now, Zim! THREE HOURS! So... what is it?

Zim

I just noticed that you're traveling closer to the Earth than EVER before!

Tallest Purple

How do you know that?

Zim

Oh, I know all kinds of things about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...

Tallest Purple

Hey! That is creepy. You're creepy, Zim.

Zim

Heh heh. Yes, I sure am. Anyhow, since you're so nearby, you can see me initiate my newest, most DIABOLICAL PLAN TO DESTROY THE HUMANS! I made sandwiches!

Uh, look, Zim, err... maybe we'll stop by on our way back from... wherever we're going.

Zim

But--

Sorry, Zim! Uh, we're being... attacked! [pushes Almighty Tallest Purple] By an enemy vessel! Ooh! Oohh! Gotta go! Gotta go! [signals one of the crew mates to cut the transmission. The transmission with Zim is cut and Almighty Tallest Purple gets back up.] "Enemy vessel" - ha! As though anyone would dare go up against the Massive.

Tallest Purple

Yeah, that is pretty funny. [pointing aside] HEY, SOMEONE'S MAKING DONUTS! [he and Tallest Red both cheer]

Zim

Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship you're sitting in, isn't it?

Dib

Yes it is, Zim. It fell from the...

Zim

Isn't it!?

Dib

I SAID IT WAS! Man, you have a problem with listening, Zim.

Zim

ISN'T IT!?!?

Zim

GIR! Another mutant biting thing!

GIR

Yes, my vermin lord!

Dib

Zim!

Zim

What?!?

Dib

Zim!

Zim

What?!?

Dib

Zim!

Zim

What?!?

Dib

[screaming] You won't get away with it!!

Zim

[struggling to hear Dib] ...that's very nice of you.

Dib

No! Your plan, I'm going to stop you! I got a secret weapon!

Zim

Where is it?

Dib

Around...

Zim

Can it protect you from ... T-T-T-T-THIS?! [GIR opens up the top of his puppy suit]

GIR

SAMMICH! [his head opens and a sandwich flies out, hitting Dib and knocking him against the wall]

GIR

I had a sammich in my head!

Dib

Laugh now, space monster! But my weapon is so powerful, it... buys rubber pants!

GIR

PUPPY!! [licks the window]

Zim

No, GIR! You can eat later! [pulls GIR away from the window]

Dib

Zim! I don't know what your plan is, but I'm going to stop you!

Zim

I am infecting the city with genetically mutated vermin, but you'll never know!

Dib

You just told me.

Zim

... YOU'RE LYING!!!!

GIR

Guess who made waffles!

Zim

I'm not going to eat-

GIR

[screams]

Zim

Enough! I shall try some already! [takes a bite] Well, they don't seem to be making me sick. You know, I think this will be a good way to build a tolerance to the human's filthy food! Okay, GIR. I will try-

GIR

Hehehehehehe! [runs to get more waffles]

Zim

And as soon as I'm done with these waffles, I will discuss my evil plan!

Zim

Hey look, they're gonna start making artificial beavers.

Dib

He's after our beaver technology! Is this his next evil plan?

Zim

Well, time to work on my next evil plan...

Dib

Talk about perfect timing!

Zim

Hey, do you know who came by today?

GIR

Hm?

Zim

That ugly neighbor lady. She was wearing this horrible...

Zim

Huh?

Zim

Oh mighty dung! The giant flesh-eating demon squid has escaped!

Zim

Hey. These aren't bad. What's in 'em?

GIR

There's waffle in 'em!

Zim

[screaming] YOU'RE LYING!!!!!

Zim

Gir, your waffles have sickened me! Fetch me the bucket!

Gir

*Squeals*

Dib

NOOOOO! The plan! *shakes computer* WHAT WAS THE PLAN?!

Zim

*Makes retching sound as Dib looks sick*

Zim

The Dib- the Dib! I don't care how delicious he is, he's evil! They'll destroy the base! There's only one thing to do!

GIR

You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits?

Zim

No, GIR. Never. I never want you to mention biscuits ever again.