Okay wait, is it straight?
Ummm, I think my side needs to be a little higher.
[Sam looks at Carly with a worried look on her face]
What are you doing with that balloon?
Taping the string to Freddie's phone.
My.... [rummages around for his phone in a slight panic] Get your hands off my phone!
No prob. [lets go of the balloon]
You get my phone down from there right now!
[Sam pulls out her mini paintball gun]
No no wait, I want you t-
[Sam bursts the balloon and Freddie's phone smashes on the table]
Not sure the warranty covers that.
[Gibby walks in]
GibbyGibbay! Woah, you guys getting ready for a party?
Carly's dad's coming home for a few days.
And it's the first time in 3 years that I get to spend his birthday with him.
Gibby
So, Spencer's not your dad?
[Sam whacks Gibby in the butt with a paintball in annoyance]
Gibby
Oww!
[annoyed] You deserved that.
Gibby
Great. Now when I sit I'm gonna have to put all my weight on my left buttock.
[Spencer runs out]
Okay! Okay, tell me what you guys think, huh? [makes funny noises while doing a weird jog on the spot, He is wearing a suit]
He never told our dad that he dropped out of law school so now he wants to pretend he graduated and that he's a lawyer in a big law firm.
[fake laughs] I gotta! You want dad to come home and be disappointed in me?
He's been disappointed in you since you were 9!
Is that when Spencer set that ice-cream truck on fire?
[annoyed] It was an accident!
Accident or not, it put Mr. Creamstein out of business!
[Gibby lifts up a lid of a box revealing a cake]
Gibby
Woah ho ho, what's this?
That's her dad's birthday cake.
Yeah, it's an exact replica of an Air Force, F22, fighter jet.
Aha! Which I have specially rigged with automatic, self-lighting candles.
Spencer- [tries to grab the remote off of him]
Don' touch me, your dirty. [everyone looks around all confused] When we show dad the cake he say "Well, why aren't the candles lit?" and then Carly will say "Well what do you mean the candles aren't lit?" and then I'll press this button, and-
[The cake explodes everywhere and all over everybody]
[Gibby zips up his suitcase, then gets it up and pulls up the handle.]
Why are you bringing a big suitcase? We're just going to Canada for the day.
Gibby
Yeah. So I brought some hair care products, uh, some extra batteries, a change of underpants.
[Freddie looks at the suitcase.]
Gibby
Is that a problem?
Gibby
That's what I thought.
[Takes his jacket from a jacket hanger] Come on, guys. We gotta hit the road. [Puts on his jacket]
We don't have to be at the Fat Cake Factory 'til one.
Yeah, but it's a two-hour drive. We gotta go through security at the border.
Gibby
Why? It's not like Canada's a different country.
[Pause.]
Gibby
I thought it was like Idaho.
Idaho's a state– in our country.
Gibby
Look, I don't need a lecture.
You sure you're not gonna come?
I want to but I already bailed on Lance twice and he's really cool. And if I bail again, he's gonna think I don't like him, and I really do like him. Besides, I haven't kissed a guy in four months. I'm gettin' itchy.
Handsome Lance is picking me up at five o'clock. With his car.
Gibby
So what are you gonna do 'til then?
Probably take a long hot bath, and I'll blow my hair out, maybe I'll do my nails–
Gibby
Gibbeh.
[Sam, Freddie, Spencer, and Gibby leave as Carly looks on.]
[A Malaysian man takes a red suitcase through the border, unaware that it is Gibby's and that Sam is inside.]
[Inside the suitcase] Gibby?
[To Freddie and Gibby] Okay, let's get outta here.
[To Gibby] Grab Sam, let's go.
Gibby
[Takes a red suitcase, unaware that it is the Malaysian man's and that Sam is not inside] Ooh. Sam's light.
[Freddie, Spencer, and Gibby make their way through the border.]
FSFreddie, Spencer, and Gibby
[Chanting, in unison] U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
[T-Bo lifts up a sign that says 'Warning']
[T-Bo puts down the sign]
You're about to watch a very special episode of iCarly.
Gibby
It's not for normal people.
You might find it, disturbing.
[They all lift up bowls of soup.]
As you enjoy this special new episode of iCarly.
[All of them eat a spoonful of soup]
Gibby
Gibbaayy.
MMinko
Ahhhh! You girls are so stupid! [pushes them forward and points to the elevator] There!!! There's Poachy!!! Right there!!! [both girls scream]
We found him! [kisses the frame surrounding him]
Why didn't you tell us he was in here?
MMinko
I DID tell you idiots! And nobody better hit me with a stop sign! [Gibby is creeping up on him, and then does just that]
Gibby
[laughs] April Fools! Ha ha.
Dude, that's not how you do an April Fools joke!
And anyway, you're not even supposed to be in this flashback! ...Great. Minko's unconscious. What do we do with him?
Gibby
I'll get the marshmallows.
You know, even though Spencer and I have to move out of this apartment tonight, forever, I'm still in a great mood.
Oh, when aren't you in a good mood?
I know right [agreeing with Freddie]
Gibby
Really?
What?! Sometimes I get in bad moods.
No no no, wait wait wait wait wait. In all fairness, sometimes Carly does get in bad moods.
Uh, like when the time T-Bo made you those stuffed mushrooms.
[The rest apart from Carly agree with him and laugh]
Oh c'mon, I wasn't that mad.
You were pretty mad that day-
-no [disagreeing with Sam]
[Everyone looks up for a flashback]
[flashback]
[Sam, Freddie, Spencer and Carly are all reading together]
I just love reading together.
[T-Bo walks in]
Hey hey Carly! I made you stuffed mushrooms.
[Carly stands up and slams her book shut]
[yells] WHO CARES?! [throws book at T-Bo angrily]
[T-Bo falls against the door, Sam, Spencer and Freddie turn to Carly in shocked at the same time and Carly breathes in and out quickly and deeply in rage and anger. Scene cuts to the group in Tori Vega's living room]
Okay. Okay, I was in kind of a bad mood that day.
GGibby (as Robbie)
Kind of?
You threw a book at T-Bo.
Yeah, and just because he made you some stuffed mushroo-[notices the area they are in] Hey. Uh, hey, wha-
Gibby
(notices he is Robbie) Gibbeh?
(hesitantly and shocked) When I make it shine...!
[the group all stares straight, then at each other, then straight again]
[shouts down the corridor] Carly, c'mon!
[Carly walks round the corner with all the luggage, groaning. She drops the bags and leans against Freddie's front door, but the door opens and she falls in and screams. She gets up, still groaning and closes the door]
[Throws a hat on the floor] I'm sick and dying! Urgh!
Maybe I should take you to a doctor.
No. [Starts picking all the bags back up] no, just, open our door so I can... go in there and just be alone.
[Spencer opens the front door]
[Sam, Freddie, Gibby and T-Bo are all hanging out in their apartment]
[They all say hi]
[walks in to find Sam, Freddie, Gibby and T-Bo partying in the apartment] What is going on here?
Gibby
Gibbeh!!!
How long, have you guys been hanging out in OUR apartment?
Uh, how long you guys been on vacation?
Carly groans and falls to the floor
Gibby
Kk.
Gibby helps Carly stand up
Man, she looks sicky sick.
Yeah, she's got jungle worms.
Gibby
[drops Carly] Oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!! [runs out of the apartment]
They're like these scuzzy little parasites that set up camp in your guts.
Spencer helps Carly onto the couch while she continues groaning
How do you know about jungle worms?
My mom got them from using some foreign guy's toothbrush.
So, what are the symptoms?
Can someone cover me with a blanket?
..and a lot of, you know..
[Carly runs into the bathroom and throws up]
One of us should probably get in there and help her.
Hey these steaks are ready.
[They all go over to Sam for some steak, leaving Carly in the bathroom alone]
[Louis, Zayn and Niall try helping Harry stand up but he groan and falls back onto the chair.]
LLiam
Wow. He's really sick.
What do you think's wrong with him?
HHarry
I feel cold. And thirsty. Can somebody hold me?
LZLouis, Zayn and Niall
No.
LLouis
Here, have some more of this water.
[Louis picks Carly's bottle up from the floor and hands it to Harry. Carly steps forward and takes the bottle from Harry.]
Harry, you drank from my water bottle?
Oh, my god. I gave Harry Styles jungle worms!
Gibby
NOOO!
So, I was thinking to close the show, instead of random dancing...
...we can try random scratching, and then maybe Freddie could-
Hey! Ohhh, done! Whoo! [Sam and Carly just look at Spencer without saying anything] I say, it's done! Woooooo! [Sam and Carly still don't say anything] C'mon, ask me about it!
We can see, you made a snowman!
Uhhh, it's a snowwoman, duh. Can't you see her snowbahoobies? That's how you know that it's a- [a snowboob falls off] Dang it! Ah, I can fix that, wait. Urgh!
[Elevator opens and Gibby comes out of it]
Gibby
Hey hey, guess what. I started using deodorant. [Everyone looks at him oddly] But I can't decide which scent I like best, so under my right arm I used Ocean Breeze... [Sam quickly gets out of her chair away from Gibby] ...and under my left I used Summer Swagger. Carly, c'mon. Which one smells best?..
Gibby, no no, Gibby no... [tries to get Gibby to stop him from making her smell his underarms]
[Gibby forces Carly's head under his underarm]
Gibby
Alright, that's the Ocean Breeze.
[Carly keeps trying to escape]
I'd stop this if it wasn't hilarious.
[Carly is finally free]
Gibby
Now smell the left, let's go. [Carly is forced under his other pit and keeps trying to escape again] Okay, that's the Summer Swagger. Breathe it in deep. [Carly's free again] So which one you like best?
Probably the Ocean Breeze.
Gibby
I knew it! Hey, is that a snowlady?
Gibby
I think one of her bahoobies might've--
Gibby
Okay.
Hello, good people, and Sam!
What up with the fruit bowl, fruit bowl?
I just thought you guys might like some pears, Pear for you, [to Carly] pear for you, [to Spencer] pear for you. [to Gibby]
Gibby
I'm wearing deodorant.
'Cause this Freddie just got himself a job working at the Pear Store.
You're selling computers?
Yep! Ipears, Pear Phones, Pear Pads, Pear-port Extremes, and all other Pear related products and accessories.
Gibby
I love products and accessories.
Hey, Gib... Why don't you see which deodorant Freddie likes best?
Gibby
Ooh, Yeah!
What do you mean which deodorant I like best? [Gibby grabs him] Oh! Gibby.
Gibby
Oh, all right, Okay.
Gibby
Just breathe in... Come on breathe, Gibby.
There! I fixed her. And check this out. Her nose lights up. [His sculpture sets on fire] No!
(Screaming) What?! [Smoke alarm beeps] Aw!
I'll call the Fire Department.
I'll disable the smoke alarm.
iCarly · 611 quotes
