DMDet. Michael Tritter
Merry Christmas.
And a Happy "Go to Hell".
S3 E10Merry Little Christmas
[walking into an examining room, where Dr. Cuddy is with two dwarves]
Woah, sorry. Just need her for a tiny moment... small favor.
What are you gonna do?
I thought I'd get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual.
[Dr. House is comparing Maddy to his cane]
I'm 4'1". That's 1.5 canes in metric.
You don't look a day over 4 feet. I saw in the file that her Dad was normal-sized.
It's "average-sized".
Compared to you, I'm sure it was huge. So did he have a fetish, or did he just fall in love with your long-legged soul?
He grew up in the circus. Said I reminded him of home. Seems like you're the one with the fetish.
I'm certainly curious about the logistics. Did you stand on a table?
House!
Pretty much he'd lay flat, and spin me.
She also hates Jews.
I've dealt with worse. Being different, you get used to people's idiocy. Still beats the hell out of actually being an idiot. [off House's look] What?
Care to go for a spin?
Are you high?
Higher than you.
S3 E11Words and Deeds
If you called to see the design of my prison tats, they're still at R&D.
DTDet. Tritter
Cuddy wouldn't get off the phone until I promised I'd come and see for myself. I gotta admit, this move I did not expect.
Well don't tell anyone but the photos of smiling people in the brochures, it's just marketing.
DTDet. Tritter
Well you're obviously making an effort. So I suppose the next step is for me to talk to the DA.
Which you have no intention of doing?
DTDet. Tritter
No.
So words mean nothing, actions mean nothing, what the hell is left?
[Tritter shrugs his shoulders and walks away]
[Yelling from across the room] You son of a bitch! [Tritter stops and turns around] What about your words, your actions? [House gets up and starts walking over to Tritter] "Gotta get House cleaned up, get him to show some humility", when it comes to actually doing something you prove that all you care about is bitch slapping a guy who refused to kiss your ass.
DTDet. Tritter
You ever trust an addict? You ever give one the benefit of the doubt? How many times did it work out for you?
Yeah yeah yeah, I get it, so you were screwed over by your wife, your mother, your partner, but you keep sending them Christmas cards while you take it out on everyone else.
DTDet. Tritter
No more Christmas cards, no I learned. People like you, even your actions lie.
[House is on the phone during his trial]
JJudge
Do you want to go to jail?
No thank you.
House, I just heard that you apologized to Wilson.
Detoxing. I didn't know what I was saying.
[Cameron hugs him]
Excuse me, I have to go to jail.
[Seeing House eagerly consuming his medication] That's Vicodin. He's been slipping you Vicodin.
No! He'd be risking his minimum wage job to do that.
The whole time?
My higher power said it was okay.
Nothing's changed?
Nothing's changed.
[Walking away in disbelief and then turning back] The apology. You didn't need to do that to make this work.
[Smiling] Believe what you want.
JJudge
[to House] My suspicion is, your boss... My suspicion is, you have better friends than you deserve. Rules and laws apply to everyone; you are not as special as you think.
DTDet. Tritter
Doctor House...
So, should I be looking for you in the shadows? Flinching every time a car backfires?
DTDet. Tritter
Good luck. I hope I'm wrong about you.
S3 E12One Day, One Room
Start counting.
[The patient takes his pulse]
How many?
26.
Okay, either you suck at math, or you're going to die in two seconds.
[A moment passes, and nothing happens]
You suck at math.
If we were to care about every person suffering on this planet, life would shut down.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.