James Wilson quotes from House

Wilson

Yeah, that makes sense too.

House

"Too"?

Wilson

I was thinking you actually feel guilty about taking her away from her baby, but your explanation's good too. It's completely inconsistent with your character, but... whatever.

House

Thank you, Rationalization Man. You have saved the village!

House

If she [Cuddy] invited you to a ceremonial lynching, would you go?

Wilson

It would depend on what she was serving.

Wilson

Raising a child on her own is scary. She's just doing what you do, what everyone does: Trying to avoid pain.

House

Religion is not the opiate of the masses. Religion is the placebo of the masses. You're saying that she's not a hypocrite.

Wilson

I'm not. I'm trying to give you a rational reason to overlook her hypocrisies so you don't feel like a hypocrite for going.

House

Oh sorry, continue.

Wilson

Okay. Even if an absolute truth exists, we can't know all of it. And you can't condemn her for recognizing that.

Wilson

Are you eliminating symptoms?

House

I can't know everything.

Wilson

This is medicine not metaphysics.

House

Truth is truth. [Erases "Hallucination" off the board] It fits.

Wilson

It doesn't fit. You can't eliminate a symptom.

House

I can if it's not a symptom.

Wilson

Well, what is it?

House

Not a symptom. [walks out]

Wilson

You idiot!

House

Okay, I admit it. I have bulimia. I look good, though, don't I?

Wilson

Heroin. Heroin?! House, of all the stupid...

House

I'm not on heroin.

Wilson

I just caught you with your fingers down your throat.

House

I'm on methadone. Stupid product, heroin without the high.

Wilson

Yea, and twice the risk of death.

House

No risk of arrest.

Wilson

You nearly died.

House

Today was a fluke, I nodded off.

Wilson

Right, you're safe as long as you never sleep again. Mistime your dose, you die. Couple of drinks, you die. Mix it with the wrong drugs, you die. You wanna detox from Vicodin, pick something that won't kill you.

House

I'm not detoxing.

Wilson

If you're looking for something to help with your pain...

House

Doesn't help my pain. It eliminates it.

House

My leg doesn't hurt anymore.

Wilson

I'm not always nice. I'm not nice to you.

House

Because you know nice bores me. Hence, still nice.

Wilson

[Referring to his brother] I thought seeing him again would change everything. It would be wonderful or terrible... Instead... we're just strangers. It's kind of anti-climatic.

House

Which is better than terrible.

Wilson

My whole life is one big compromise. I tiptoe around everyone like they're made of china. I spend all my time analyzing what will the effect will be if I say this. Then there's you, you're a reality junkie. If I offered you a comforting lie, you'd smack me over the head with it. Let's not change that.

House

Okay.

Wilson

No. See this - if you were implementing the social contract, you'd say that but only because it makes me feel better.

House

It is kind of fun watching you torture yourself.

Wilson

Do you think things will work out with my brother?

House

No... But when it does go wrong it won't be your fault.

Wilson

Thanks House.

Wilson

Your crash was 10 miles from the Orange County Progressive Pain Clinic.

House

You live 10 miles from Mary's Dress Shop. Yet that's not even on my list of reasons that I think you're secretly a transvestite.

House

I'm losing my mind. All you gotta say is "good"?

Wilson

House, a guy you worked with for two years, who you mentored, and... yes, possibly even cared about, just blew his brains out. You can't find the reason. You can't find the meaning in it because sometimes there isn't any. Sometimes... this is all there is. You should be losing it. You'd be crazy not to be off your game. But your mojo's right where you left it. Just... keep playing with it. I gotta go. [Gesturing to his food.] Help yourself.

House

[coming to Wilson for a consult] Is he telling you to avoid the party?

Wilson

I took an oath to do no harm.

House

Why aren't you in my office?

Wilson

Because I know what the word "my" means.

Wilson

House, it's your only option.

House

What do I do if my only option won't work?

Wilson

You don't give up.

House

[with thermal pictures of Cuddy] She lied to me. Either last night or today and I need to find out which and why.

Wilson

[sarcastically] And clearly thermal imaging is the way.

Wilson

What was my one condition for allowing you to tag along?

House

Try not to be a jerk. I'm trying. I'm just failing.

Wilson

Roll your meatballs and keep an open mind. [After a few seconds] How hard are you trying not to make a ball joke right now?

House

They're smoking. Your balls.

Wilson

Oh! Ow. No, no. They're browning way too fast.

House

Blue is the color you got to watch out for.

Wilson

Enough!

Wilson

Yes you can sit here running up my hotel bill or you can go get the woman of your dreams.

House

I didn't know Angela Merkel was attending the conference.