Gregory House quotes from House

Dr. House

[explaining why he became a doctor] When I was 14, my father was stationed in Japan. I went rock climbing with this kid from school. He fell and got injured, and I had to bring him to the hospital. We came in through the wrong entrance, and passed this guy in the hall. He was a janitor. My friend came down with an infection, and the doctors didn't know what to do. So they brought in the janitor. He was a doctor. And a Buraku - one of Japan's untouchables. His ancestors had been slaughterers, gravediggers. And this guy he knew that he wasn't accepted by the staff, didn't even try. He didn't dress well. He didn't pretend to be one of them. People around that place didn't think he had anything they wanted, except when they needed him - because he was right, which meant that nothing else mattered. And they had to listen to him.

Dr. House

He's teaching prepubescent kids that truth matters, God doesn't, and life sucks. I like him.

Dr. House

[to Dr. Cameron and Dr. Foreman] Bullies bully. They don't get a reaction, they lose interest. Now go do what I ask before I stick your heads in toilets.

Dr. House

RIGHT! She's SIX! She's CUTE! She CAN'T have flesh-eating bacteria! It's just WRONG! Let's cure her with sunshine and puppies! Cute kids die of terrible illnesses! Innocent doctors go to jail! It's because cowards like you won't stand up and do what's required! You can sit around and moan about who's the bigger weakling, and I'm gonna do my job.

Dr. House

Woah, sorry. Just need her for a tiny moment... small favor.

Dr. House

If you called to see the design of my prison tats, they're still at R&D.

Dr. House

If we were to care about every person suffering on this planet, life would shut down.

Dr. House

We are selfish, base animals crawling across the earth, but 'cause we've got brains, if we try really hard, we can usually aspire to something that is less than pure evil.

Dr. House

Yeah, he's also a human being which means you shouldn't be trusting him to begin with. Stop relying on his answers and find some on your own.

Dr. House

See if you can get to the truth about who he's been dating. There's no way a Marine goes a year without getting some blood on his bayonet.

Dr. House

[while urine is spilling onto the floor out of a bag attached to House's leg] It's a urine catheter collection bag with a rip in it, what the hell does it look like?

Dr. House

By making you do your job? Does seem kind of cruel, doesn't it?

Dr. House

Never is just 'reven' spelled backwards.

Dr. House

What's life without the ability to make stupid decisions?

Dr. House

There's a lot of porn piling up on the Internet. It doesn't download itself!