GW George Washington
[narrating] And so the British Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which taxed newspapers, playing cards, and all printed material imported by the colonies. The American colonists were not happy.
PH Pule Houser
Hey, this tax is unfair!
We won't pay! [Redcoats surround them and cock their guns.] Unless they make us.
GW George Washington
Then in 1767, Parliament passed the Townend act, which taxed tea, paper, glass, and lots of other items. Now the colonists were even less happy.
[The Redcoats surround Froggo, Charity, and Pule with their guns again.]
Now we're even less happy.
The place, Boston Harbor. The date, December 16, 1773. Tea time, 4 PM sharp! But does the party start on time?! Noooo!
SA Samuel Adams
Well, Lendall Pitts, Paul Revere, and I were running a little late.
For guys who're gonna be called Minutemen, you'd think one of them could wear a watch!
Five colonists were killed by the King's Redcoats [in the Boston Massacre].
GL Ghost of Lead Colonist
Boy, and this made us so unhappy you wouldn't believe it!
R Redcoat
This is a tea party, isn't it?
SA Samuel Adams
Yes sir, this may be remembered as the biggest tea party in history, sir!
R Redcoat
Well, it won't be remembered for its abundance of tea, will it?
NA Native American #1
We would like to express our displeasure with the Colonists' choice to disguise themselves as Native Americans.
NA Native American #2
Their whooping and hollering perpetuates the stereotype that Native Americans are savages.
NA Native American #1
We are a peace-loving people who only use a war cry in battle to intimidate our enemies.
NA Native American #2
And when we're playing Yahtzee!
NA Native Americans
[in unison] YAHTZEE! [run about whooping and hollering]
Everyone be very, very quiet. The slightest sound could make this whole place crumble to pieces.
I just hope there's no truth to the curse of King Tut's tomb.
Curse?! There's a curse?!
I didn't know there was a curse!
Shh! The walls could collapse on all of us.
I don't want to hear about any curse!
That's right! Your very first wet nurse!
Uh... what's a wet nurse?
A Announcer
And now, a word from Noah Webster.
NW Noah Webster
Wet nurse. Noun, meaning a woman who cares for and suckles children not of her own.
And I had such high hopes for this show.
I'm officially writing a letter of complaint to myself!
As the great Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said...
LT Lao Tzu
The journey of a thousand miles must always begin with a single step.
[Big Fat Baby wanders to the edge of the stairs and falls down them.]
This is going to be a long trip!
C Confucius
Never belch before a lady.
Sorry! [points to Charity] I didn't know it was her turn.
1766 B.C. brought with it the Shan Dynasty, which led to the use of bows, arrows, and spears.
Spears for fighting our enemies.
ARROWS FOR DEFENDING OUR FAMILIES!!
And bows for final touches on our snappy hairstyles! Ahahahaha! I love it!
[in response to getting Benjamin Franklin's autograph] Thank you thank you thank. Hey, you're not Richard Gere! And what are you doing in this episode about China? That is kooky!
Hi gang, Pop Quiz here! We ask several historical questions for our players then act flabbergasted at their overwhelming ignorance!
My friends call me Lucky Bob.
Do you want me to call you Lucky Bob?
That would make you my friend.
If you're through, I'll introduce challenger #2, whose name is...
SS Susanna Susquahanna
[pushes her buzzer] Thuthanna Thuthquahanna.
I thought it was Susanna Susquahanna.
SS Susanna Susquahanna
That'th what I thaid.
Oh very good then. We have Bob and Thuthanna.
SS Susanna Susquahanna
That'th true.
Sorry, no points for getting your own name right.
‹ Previous Page 3 of 9
Next ›
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Histeria! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
