Helga quotes from Hey Arnold!

Helga

I guess I'm pretty sick, aren't I? I mean, I once made a likeness of Arnold's head out of wads of his used gum.

You're not sick. You feel your feelings very strongly. You're very creative. [Pauses] Did you say used gum?

Helga

So it's okay to be obsessed about him? You know, the shrines, the 3 AM vigils, the chanted spells?

As long as you're not hurting anyone it sounds like an okay way to express yourself.

Helga

So animal sacrifices are out?

Yes, I'm afraid so.

Helga

Arnold!

Oh, sorry, Helga.

Helga

I just want to say that, that... that you should watch where you're going, Football Head, quit crashing into me all the time! Sheesh! [Helga runs away].

Nice running into you too Helga.

Helga

Look at him, all ticked off. He doesn't get it. He doesn't know my secret. What a sap! He still can't even tell that I adore him. [Brainy comes out of a corner and gives Helga a plastic ring.] Look Brainy, this is just weird. How is it that you're standing behind me again? How did you get in this little arch? Where you waiting for me to come into this alley? What's your deal? OK, I am not gonna hit you this time. This one's for free. Today I'm feeling generous, but tomorrow look out.

Helga

[to Harold] So how much money do you got? [Harold shows Helga two quarters in his hand] Enough for one call each. Hello, Mom! It's me, Helga! I'm stuck at The Chocolate Factory with a moron named Harold. The school bus left us here and we don't have any way to get back. Oh, please pick up, Miriam. [Helga hangs up the phone]

Harold

[dials the pay phone] Hello? Mommy, it's me, Harold.

I've never heard of you! Don't call me again!

Harold

[hangs up phone] Oops. Dialed the wrong number.

Helga

Just brilliant. You don't even know your own phone number.

Harold

Hey, look! The subway! We're saved!

Helga

Yeah, great idea, genius. Only one little problem — it costs money to take the subway, and we don't have any.

Harold

Then we'll just jump the gate. No one ever gets caught. Come on! [gets stuck on the turnstile entrance]

Hey! You two kids! Come back here!

Harold

[relieved] Oh! [sighs] That was close. Oh, I think I'm going to be sick!

Helga

"No one ever gets caught."

Helga

[to Earl] Hey Mister, wake up!

What? Who goes there?

Helga

Can you give us a ride into town?

Harold

There are some crazy midget clowns that wanna kill us!

Midget clowns eh? Arr!

Helga

[Harold has begun to hug her] Get off of me, you big whale!

Harold

Ow.

Helga

Everything that happened today was your fault. You can't do anything right! Can't you? Take the bus for example. Why do you think we've missed it, Harold? Oh, let me see, hmm... maybe it was because you were too busy eating twice your body weight in Chocolate Num-Nums! Oh, how about this one? "Let's take the subway, I think it goes to Lincoln." Oh, wait, no, it doesn't, it goes straight to the bowels of the underworld! Population: homicidal, toothless, midget clowns! "I know, let's steal their bike, they won't mind." Now, you'd think that would be quite enough to fill any moron's day, but you are not just any moron, are you, Harold? You are the king! Your day's just getting started. So, because of your amazing curiosity about the world around us, you pulled the plug out of the bottom of our getaway boat! [sighs] You idiot...

Harold

So, is that what you really think of me, Helga? Do you think I'm an idiot who can't do anything right?

Helga

Yes, Harold, that's what I really think.

Helga

From now on, it's not all gonna be about me. Could you get the door?

Phoebe

Opening.

Helga

It's gonna be about me and you. As far as doing favors for each other, it's going to be Even Steven. Snag me one of those fruit cups.

Phoebe

Snagging.

Helga

From now on, everything is going to be much better. You'll see! No, not L, Phoebe. B, B, B.

Phoebe

Repressing.

Helga

What is this clear wall blocking us from outside?

It's a door. I'll get it for you.

Helga

Whatever is this contraption, Andrew?

It's a water fountain. You drink from it. [Helga pushes the button and water comes out]

Helga

I like to drink.

Helga

Arnold, look out for that cab!

Helga

Arnold, are we alive?

We're fine.

Helga

Whew. Good thing I saw — uh, I mean — smelled that cab coming.

You smelled the cab?

Helga

Yeah, you know how it is when you lose one of your senses. The others just kind of kick into overdrive. [sniffs Arnold] Speaking of which, you might want to try a stronger deodorant, Football Head.

[thinking when he dances with Helga] Oh, man, I really hate this!

Helga

[thinking] Oh, man, do I love this or what?

Helga

Criminy, what a pathetic display.

Phoebe

I'm afraid I have to agree, Helga.

Helga

Guess Miss Rich and Fancy over there really did a number on him.

Rhonda

May I borrow the black paint, Helga?

Helga

Perfect. It'll match the color of your heart. [Holds up a paper plate with a black heart painted on it]

Rhonda

Excuse me?

Helga

You heard me, Cruella.

Rhonda

Unbelievable!

Are you okay, Helga?

Helga

Oh I'm just peachy. My dad's joining some wacky spiritual group, brain-washed Miriam and Olga and is planning to take us all to Oregon to live in a hut, out in nature to sing songs and eat bark.