Hell's Kitchen Season 8 quotes

On order, four covers away, Table 23, yes? Two risotto, two scallops, entrée one chicken, three rib-eye.

Yes, chef!

[sees Raj turning back without answering] You, come here. You're standing here next to me, I called it out and you just turned your fat arse around. You didn't even acknowledge me.

I'm-I'm here. Yes, chef. What do you need? I'm here.

What do I need? What did I just call out? (Raj doesn't answer) What did I just call out, Raj? I'm talking to you!

(interview) The fact that Raj is 49 and still alive and not in jail or an asylum is a goddamn miracle.

What did I just call out?

I didn't- I didn't catch it.

Oh fuck me. Useless.

Just over half an hour in the dinner service, Raj hasn't even begun cooking but has already disappointed Chef Ramsay.

Curtis! (returns a sushi to the workstation)

Working on it again chef.

Yeah, fuck off. Gentlemen, gentlemen, GENTLEMEN! Look at this! (points to some sushi) Fat fuck, fat fuck, fat fuck. Look at that there. Look at that. Look. Look at-- (to Curtis) come here you! It's not good enough for me. It's not good enough for me!

Yes, chef. Working now chef.

(interview) Sushi's coming back. Seriously, you're not cooking anything.

Do you think that I'm going to fucking send-- you can't even clean the fucking-- fuck off, Curtis! Fuck right off!

It's 90 minutes into dinner service, and food has been ridiculously slow leaving the blue kitchen...

(walking up the stairs to take a table's order) Hello guys.

...but Vinny has a plan to speed things up.

(to the diners) I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you: you guys order sides, you're gonna be here till next Tuesday. (interview) I have zero confidence that Raj is getting out garnishes and sides.

No sides.

Yeah. (Vinny smiles and gives a thumbs-up)

(interview) So I came up with a bit of a clever idea.

(to the same diners that Vinny just waited on) How's the service this evening?

We can't order sides...

Why are you not allowed to order sides?

Because I guess we can get our food quicker if we don't order sides?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, let me go speak to the chef about this.

(to Scott) Yeah, just check that. There's no sides on there, I don't know why.

(to Vinny) Come over here! (to Gordon) Chef, one of his tables, he's telling them they could not have side orders because it takes too long to get it out of the kitchen.

What I said was, I'd be happy to bring them to you...

Shut up! Come in here!

That is not what I told them.

Why?

That is NOT what I told them.

What did you tell them?

Exactly what I told them was this: I said "I'm telling you the truth. The sides are delicious, but it's going to take a lot longer if you want sides, so..."

STOP EVERYBODY! Now Captain Vinny here is telling the customers not to order sides! (to Raj) Come here. Did you tell him not to order sides?

Of course not! Why would I say that?

Don't fucking shout at me, fuck-face! You told him that? "Don't push the sides, so I look good."

No, I'm ready with the sides! Look, I got all the sides ready, I'm waiting for them.

So why's he not taking the orders?

I have no idea, but look at these sides, it's all ready! He's- he's- I'm- he's- okay...

Do you want to know the truth?

Yeah, I do want to know the truth!

The truth is, I have no faith that he's going to be able to get the sides out.

You'd better understand one fucking thing! You do NOT decide what goes out this kitchen!

(mumbles) I don't know.

GET OUT.

Yes, chef.

GET OUT, YOU!

(to Melissa) Come here you. [reads a ticket] One salmon, one halibut, one chicken, one beef. Where's the wellington?

Wellington's coming up--

Where's the wellington?

It's not on the window chef.

It's for the next table.

Yes, chef. (interview) I just put up the wrong thing. I can't explain it. It's fucking embarrassing.

You are about to sink your team. Now.

Focus chef.

No, don't focus. Swap places with Jillian. Now fuck off!

Yes, chef. (to the Red team) Guys, I have to go out to the dining room. If you need--.

Get out! Get out! Fuck the explanation! GET OUT!

Men, you lost. Vinny decided that it was a bright idea to tell the customers, "Don't order sides, because the kitchen can't deliver." How dare you? That's my decision, and not yours. None of you are here to kiss my ass, but I expect some FUCKING RESPECT!

Boris, Raj. Step forward. Unbelievable! [brief pause] Wait a second. Somebody else needs to be up here. [another brief pause] Vinny, step forward! [Vinny stands in between Boris and Raj] I am PISSED! You have no right to recommend to the guests not to have a side with an entrée!

After my first table waited nearly two hours for their appetizers, I just wanted them to have an opportunity to experience some of your food. That's what they came here for.

Entrées on that menu are designed to go with sides! Is that clear?

Yes, chef.

Raj, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?

I should stay in Hell's Kitchen, chef, Because I am being falsely accused and I'm getting more familiar with everything and it's going to be good and it just need a little more time I'm a slow learner.

Yes, chef.

Get a good night's sleep, because seven of you need to fight back. Quickly!

Yes, chef.

Now FUCK OFF!

(interview) The blue team should get used to getting their asses kicked. They're like little dominoes and the red team is gonna knock each one of them out. (laughs)

(interview) I'm there scrambling trying to save my fucking guys' asses and they threw me under not only the bus. They threw me under the train, the plane, the helicopter, and the... fucking buggy.

(interview) I know that the guys in my team are shitting in their pants knowing that Raj is going to destroy them. [gets up and points to the camera] I'M HERE TO STAY, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, 'CAUSE I AM THE BEST! [falls off his interview chair] WHAAAOW! [climbs back up to the chair] HAAA!

[to himself, after everyone has returned to the dorms] God. (voiceover) Curtis might have been a good old boy, but unfortunately, he wasn't good at cooking.

(interview after Raj escaped elimination) I'm more shocked that that lunatic is still here.

(interview) EEEYOW! WOOAAOOAAOOAAOOAAOOH!!! WHOO! ALL RIGHT! Thank you, Lord, thank you, Jesus! WOO! I'M FEELIN' GREAT! Now I'm DEFINITELY going to win this competition now. I know it! (to Vinny) Wheel of karma, baby! You can't get off, these hands are tied.

Raj, Raj, Raj. Please.

You have malice, you know what I mean? I don't have evil designs. I don't lie. I tell the truth!

I didn't lie either.

For you to tell the customers in the dining room not to order food because I'm working it? I mean, that is sick.

(interview) I did not tell those customers "do not order sides." (beat) I highly recommended it. (to Raj) I want to win a restaurant.

Guess what? You ain't.

WOO!!! I'M WINNING THIS MOTHERFUCKING THING!!! [the other chefs attempt to shush him]

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

(interview) I know that the guys on my team have absolutely no chance, so they're doing anything they can to get rid of me. (to the chefs) Lie, don't die!

The guy is here to be an anchor to us. We're gonna have to learn to work with him.

Somebody's gotta get him in line and you guys aren't getting through at all, he seems to listen to me.

Raj listens to you?

Yeah I don't know, I'm one of the few guys who hasn't yelled or screamed at him. (interview) If I can just get Raj to focus, I will. [shot of Raj doing tai-chi in the bedroom] We need to learn to work with the tools that we're given, and he just happens to be one of those tools. (to Vinny, Rob, and Boris) You have to handle him with gloves though, his... [points to his temple]

[in the background] WHAAAAOW!!! [Vinny chuckles]

We gotta get this guy to work somehow.

You can't.

We haven't sent one table yet!

Raj, where's the scrambled egg?

Okay. (brings his scrambled eggs to the pass)

(tastes) Hey guys, guys. Come here. All of you, come here! Quick! Hurry up! (pushes Raj out of his way) Get out of the way. Get out of the way. Oooh, get out of the way. Taste it. Taste it. Taste it, taste it, taste it, taste it! Not an OUNCE of seasoning!

What do you—?!

We're doing it again! Don't argue with chef!

(interview) Don't talk back to chef. He says something, you say "Yes, chef" and move on. That's it.

Say that again? Hey, say that again? Say–say–don't spit fucking scrambled egg in my face! Say that again?! Say that again?!

Yes, chef.

There's not an ounce of fucking seasoning in there. These guys save lives for a living, yeah, and you're about to fuck up their breakfast. Got it?

Yes, chef! (interview) Chef Ramsay's like "Oh, my God! THERE'S NO SALT! THERE'S NO PEPPER!" and I'm like "What the–?" (to his teammates) Go ahead, go ahead, go! Go! (interview) I thought I seasoned it, chef, correctly. But no. Obviously I didn't.

Why's he cooking scrambled egg when he can't even season it?

(interview) I tried to make some sense out of this intense chaos. [goes into the pantry and puts his head in the refrigerator] I got to cool off somehow. (interview) I tried to clear my head by sticking my head in the refrigerator... but I couldn't.

RAJ, MOVE YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS!! (to blue team) Somebody take control, please!!

Don't be scared, Raj! Jump in!

I was.

Everybody's polishing. You're just kinda standing there. You're blowing it with me over here. The one guy who had your back, and you're blowing it!

Oh, please! (interview) Trevor, he's–he's really not a nice person, and... he's also being very mean!

(to Raj) What do you want us to do with you?

Just leave me alone! (interview) I'm a professional chef. I'm working with a bunch of kids! I'm in a situation where it's me versus them.

[inspects glass Raj just cleaned] Water marks. (chuckles) Water marks! Raj, seriously? I mean, can you not see that? Are you gonna look?

Just do his glasses over.

That's not fair!

Just do it over!

(to the guys) This is harassment now.

Raj? Raj? Just give up halfway?

No, I just wanted to cover it.

Give me the fucking wrap. (interview) I've tried everything I can with this big, dumb animal and it's just–it's frustrating. It's tiring. (to Vinny) It's bullshit that he's even still here.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait.

You might have been cooking the longest. Obviously, you've cooked in shit restaurants for the last 30 years.

Unfair.

What's unfair about it?! You suck!

And you tanked us.

You guys are going to keep going with it?

Yes! Until it gets through that thick skull of yours!

(interview) Trevor's harassing me for no reason, and he's being more of a problem than a solution. (to Trev and Vinny) You guys seem to be targeting me in a vicious fashion. You got something about me, because I'm older?

Go home, Raj! Just go home. Go home and stuff yourself with Twinkies so you have a fucking heart attack on your recliner!

Oh, so now you're going to make fun of my weight?

We got to figure out what you're good at. You got to be good at something, right? Aside from sleeping and fucking eating and running your goddamn jaw. You got to be good at something! Mr. "I'm a chef and I'm almost 50. I got more experience than everybody." What the fuck have you done so far?! You're fucking dilly-dallying in the fucking pastry section, and the shit you've cooked doesn't even work–

Shut up! [Snaps and gets in Trev's face] SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Or what?

Guys, guys, guys! Come on!

I said shut up! Just shut up!

Or what?!

Fuck all you motherfuckers! YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF SNAKES! [to Trev] YOU FUCKIN' SNAKE! (interview) I'm being targeted, I'm being harassed, and I'm really at the point where I don't know what to do!

Raj, can I have a word with you?

I'm tired, dammit!

Just one minute? Listen to me. Listen to me. Raj, please! Raj! Raj! [takes Raj into the hallway] We need listen and work together! (interview) I don't want to see anybody getting hurt. I don't want to see anyone throwing it off, because we need every man on our team. Including Raj.

You gotta listen to me. You alright? (interview) But... that guy is fucking nuts!

Raj, haven't given up on you. However, push it tonight.

Yes, chef.

Come back.

Yes, chef.

And stay out the fucking fridge.

Yes, chef.

What's wrong with that?

Red team, salty.

Oh, dear. (returns to the workstation) Ladies.

Yes, chef?

Now it's coming back, salty! (tosses the plate on the workstation) Wow!