Harley Quinn · Season 1
[Seeing a flying figure rising from the dark while they are trapped in an unstopable rollercoaster train.]
Superman! Dad, we're saved!
[Suddenly Commissioner Gordon falls onto their train.]
Oh no, it's just Gordon. Keep screaming, son.
That's it, I'm crossing the line. Dad, fire Two-Face as your campaign manager. If you're not, I can't support you anymore.
Damn, what is with women in this family and ultimatums?
You think I made a hard choice? Wrong. I'm only running for mayor for my family. And I'll quit for my family just as easily.
[to the Joker] Wow. You really are changed. You're the kind of stepdad I wish I can be for my biological daughter.
We broke up. Bruce is so clingy. Even for an eccentric billionaire he's got baggage. Workaholic, obsessed with clean eating, and of course, those major abandonment issues from seeing his parents murdered as a child.
Well, congrats for freeing yourself from the chains of hetero hell.
Why are you smiling?! You were seconds away from being puppeted by a leprechaun in a funky hat.
I knew you'd come back, Harley. You may not be a bona fide hero, but you're not as ruthless as you think.
[Immediately beats the Mad Hatter to death with her baseball bat] You were saying?
Yeesh! Did you really just kill him to contradict me?
I like killing assholes. Don't read into it.
Whatever you say... friend.
[Sighs] We are in the area of friendship. We're not making bracelets yet. [Brief silence] We're NOT! Oh, and FYI, when someone texts "LOL period", the conversation is over!
Got it. Where you goin'? Off to do another good deed?
LOL PERIOD! [Leaves]
What are you gonna do, huh? Eat me, like you did our other brothers?!
Oh, you KNOW that was a mistake! I suffer from hypoglycemic-induced blackouts!
ALL THIRTEEN TIMES?!?
[After throwing Bruce Wayne's unconscious body to the floor] Who has two thumbs to break and a full set of teeth to yank out? THIS GUY!
[in one of his memories] As a man, I'm flesh and blood. I can be ignored. I can be destroyed. But as a symbol, as a really cool, super serious symbol, I can be incorruptible. I can be everlasting.
[to Bruce's child self] You grow up to have a real savior-complex. Who do you think you are? You don't sound like Bruce Wayne there. You sound like... [gasps] Holy shit! You're...
I'm Batman. [lightning strikes]
How could Bruce be Batman? I mean, sure, he's the richest man in Gotham, so that explains all the vehicles, and he always goes missing at big galas when villains show up... Okay, if you come to think of it, it's very obvious.
Wait 'til you hear who Superman is.
I don't trust clowns with secrets.
I'm barley clown-themed anymore. I just dress like this because it's hot. I mean, check out how good this booty-shorts make my ass look. [Kid Bruce looks confused.] Nevermind, you're eight.
You're disgusthing. All this destruction and mayhem for what? Do you really like this?
Mistah J likes it. Whatever he likes, I like.
Oh, and that accent. Oh, my God! So heavy, girl. Ease it down.
Who do you think you are?
Not you. Not anymore. Someday you'll get with the love of your life and realize how foolish you've been all those years.
Too bad, you'll miss the wedding.
We haven't talked about marriage YET.
Hey, you never told me stopping baddies is this much fun. Being a hero is supposed to be lame.
It has its moments. Costume looks good on you, Quinn.
You don't think the shorts are too short? I like to show off a lil' something, but come on. This is a thong.
Maybe if I just go to the Green, I can find a way to control them.
No, absolutely not! The last time you went there, you almost died.
What other choice do we have?
I hate to say this, but the Bludhaven boner's right. Plus, I know what to expect now. [to Harley] I've got this, peanut.
Who knew confidence was my kink?
Okay, while I'm in there, you and the Bat Freaks try to stall them off.
And you're delegating. Oh, I'm gonna need to change my shorts. [Ivy pulls her closer and passionately kisses her.] Oh God, I love you.
I know. Now, go!
Okay, so which way is the Batcave?
What? What is this Batcave you speak of?
Yeah, it sounds, um, scary. Not some place I'd like to go.
Guys, I know Bruce is Batman.
Bruce Vilanch is Batman? Wow! Jokes and crime-fighting?
What a guy!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Harley Quinn pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
