Frank the Plant quotes from Harley Quinn

Frank the Plant

People shit on the WNBA, but I'm a purist. Get those dunks the fuck out my face. Gimme a nice crisp bounce pass. That's my shit. I'm all about the fundamentals.

Frank the Plant

Everybody feel that pucker in your asshole? That means shit is about to get real.

Frank the Plant

[To Harley Quinn] Where'd you learn to give a speech? You put your thesis statement at the motherfuckin' top.

Frank the Plant

[banging in a florist van] Pollen season in this bitch! POLLEN SEASON!

Poison Ivy

Ugh, look what all those months in Arkham did to my poor babies. And where is that stupid neighbour kid I hired to water them, for fuck's sake?

Frank the Plant

Uh, he quit after a week. Very unprofes-- [retches and regurgitates the kid's digested remains]

Poison Ivy

Really, Frank? What if his parents come to look for him?

Frank the Plant

Unlikely. [hocks up the remains of both parents]

Poison Ivy

You're in a pot, Frank. I'd have to carry you.

Frank the Plant

So what? I carry you emotionally.

Frank the Plant

Oh, shit!

Clayface

Dear God. We're Empire Strikes Back-ing it!

Frank the Plant

You're her biggest fear? I did NOT see that coming. That's some M. Night Shyamalama shit!

Harley Quinn

[Walks in Ivy's apartment with a box calling for Ivy] Ive? Ivy? Guess who's moving in? [Sees Frank] Frank?! What.. what are you doing here?! I thought you lived at the office?!

Frank

I did until those Jons tried to get rid of me. They sent me to some fucking place called "Bialiya" to be "repotted". Luckily, I escaped by eating a truck driver.

Harley Quinn

The Jons?! Ugh! I don't even know what's going with Ivy anymore. I mean, wait. Does she still have red hair? Tell me everything.

Frank

Ooh. The NDA they made me sign is as strong as the truck driver's will to live. I shouldn't have said anything about Bialiya.

Harley Quinn

Uh, hey, Frank, I'm gonna aw up for Ivy, okay? [Sets box on floor, sits in sofa seat and falls asleep]

Frank

[To Harley asleep holding a knife impaled pillow] Bitch! Wake up! You sleep-stabbed all the pillows!

Harley Quinn

What?! No, I didn't!

Frank

Then you kicked the TV! I was watching Bobby Flay make a goddamn turkey burger! You opened up every closet and you screamed for 60 seconds! You know how many closets there are up in this bitch?! Then you shaved Catwoman's favorite cat! Then you tried to use me as a mannequin to see all of Catwoman's earrings, even though I kept telling you I don't have fucking earlobes! Man, I never seen sleepwalking like that.

Harley Quinn

Sleepwalking? Wait, wait, is Ivy here?

Frank

No, she just dropped in and changed from her spa blazer to her business blazer. Then she tripped over on that box on the way out. She was so goddamn pissed at whoever left it there. Don't worry, though. I covered for you.

Harley Quinn

She didn't even notice I was here?

Frank

That's how covering works. You're welcome. [Retracts back fully into his planting pot]