Robby Ray Stewart quotes from Hannah Montana

Jackson

Now Dad, at the parent-teacher conference you might hear something about a belching contest. I just want you to know that it never happened. (ecstatically) And I was NOT the CHAMPION!!

Robby

I can't approve of that kind of behaviour. But I guess better out the attic (belching) than out the basement (flatulence)!

Jackson

C'mon, what's a dash of terragon among friends?

Robby Ray

That's it! The next person who says terragon is gonna be gone!

(calmly) Terragon. (walking out of house) Terragon. Terra- I am so- gone! (leaves in a huff)

Miley

What just happened?

Robby

I just ran over an armadillo.

Stewart, I'm sick of your leaves in my pool!

Robby

And I'm sick of your face in my house!!

Robby

[trying to get Miley up for school] Don't make me get the water bucket!

Miley

[suddenly sits up, eyes wide open] You wouldn't!

Jackson

[comes in, wet] Oh yes he would!

Hannah

[talking to her audience] I know, I can't wait! Swiss chocolate, Italian shoes, and French boys...ooh la la!

Robby

[from backstage] Ooh la la? Uh uh uh! That's it! The closest we're gonna get to Paris is Paris, Texas!

Robby

Alright Snowball, we're gonna take 5, and afterwards I'm teaching you 'Wanna Be Your Joe'!

(makes parrot sound) Robby rocks!!

Robby

And don't you forget it!

Jackson

You want some toast? I bet you do!

Robby

Please add some jam and butter too.

Jackson

We're out of grape, so sad! It's all your fault you bad dad!

Robby

[stops singing] You know what son?

Jackson

Yeah dad?

Robby

[singing] You got nerve!

Jackson

Thatta girl. [hands Miley a whiteboard; she starts writing something] Now if you need to say anything for the next couple of days, just use that. Hannah Montana has never canceled a concert before and she's not gonna start now. I know that would just break your heart [starts to tear up] and when your heart breaks, baby sis', so does mine!

Robby

[reading from whiteboard] You got a hot date for the concert, don't ya "Jerkson"?

Jackson

Dad!

Robby

She wrote it!

Jackson

I can't believe you think I'm that selfish that I'd put my own...

Robby

What's her name, son?

Jackson

Jenny and she's a total babe! So put a cork in it, Froggy. I got a lot ridin' on this.

Robby

Ah, ah, ah, use the pad.

Robby

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Robby

There ya go Lilly. Why don't ya read it to me to see how it sounds.

Lilly

"Dear Lilly and Oliver-" Oh boy.

Robby

Keep going. It gets better.

Lilly

"How dumb do y'all think I am? Love, Robby Ray." ...I like the "love" part.

Robby

Let me tell you a bit about my days in the band.

Jackson

You had a backup singer named celiene dianawiz ...you told her to shorten her last name...

Miley

...and the rest...

Jackson

...is history.

Robby

That is a true story. But are we talking about that right now? NO! We're talking about the fact that you two can't learn to get along!

Jackson

She spit on my neck!!

Miley

I almost wiped my face with his underwear! (crying voice) Daddy I'm gonna live with that for the rest of my life!!

Robby

So how was your date?

Miley

[referring to Roxy] Mine...or hers? Daddy, please fire Roxy right NOW!!!!! I do NOT need her anymore!!!!

Miley

[referring to Roxy] She put a bell around his arm so every time he tried to make a move it went dingdingdingdingding!

Robby

Exactly how many times did this boy "Ding?"

Miley

It doesn't matter. Every time he went "ding," she went, "Don't," and I went "Dang!"

Miley

What kind of relationship will it be if I have to lie to him about half of my life?

Robby

Well, you could always tell him the truth.

Miley

What?!

Robby

Or not. Honey, I know it's a tough decision, but I'm sure you'll make the right one.

Miley

No I won't! I'm 14! I'm almost guaranteed to mess this up. You're the adult. You're supposed to tell me what to do!

Robby

Now what kind of a father would I be if I just ordered you around all the time?

Miley

A normal one? I swear, you are no help at all. [leaves]

Robby

Huh. Boy, even when I don't say something, I say something wrong!

Miley

Thanks! Another basket from Jake. What a surprise!

Robby

I agree Mile, you either date this boy Jake, or tell him to send a work-out tape, cuz I'm one muffin away from my easy fit jeans

Miley

I got two words for yeh, Will power

Robby

I got two words for you, Mini jellys. Mhh I am so weak.

Lilly

Look who was waiting in the drive way.(Holding a cardboard cutout of jake) You can almost hear him say: Miley take me back, give me one more chance!

Miley

Oh, I'll give you something.

Robby

Not the chocolate chip ones, use the bran, nobody eats those.

Lilly

Oh my dad does, he calls them nature's broom. Uh, peanut butter balls.

Miley

Hello! Guys, this jerk hurt me and he's not gonna win me back with peanut butter balls.

Robby

Ok, you're right darling. I'm getting rid of everything. Mhh and I'll start by grilling up these perfect marinade T-bones.

Lilly

Medium rare please.

Robby

Got it.

Lilly

Come on Miley, the poor guy has done just about everything , what else can he do?

Miley

You're never gonna stop are you.

Jake

Miley, You've dumped stuff on me, and you've yelled at me, the one thing you haven't done is tell me that you don't care about me, tell me that and I'll go away.

Lilly

No, you can't, he's so and you, I mean, come on.

Jake

I know I kissed you then left and I'm sorry, but I never stopped thinking about you.

Lilly

Oh he never stopped and now I mean come on. I'll just go help with the steaks.

Miley

You do that.

Lilly

(Talking to the cardboard cutout of Jake)Come on Jake'rs

Miley

Ok, I never stopped thinking about you either.

Jake

Then you'll give me another chance?

Miley

How about we start with tonight?

Jake

Uh, Slight problem, tonight's my movie premiere.

Miley

Oh, That's ok, I mean, it's a little more public than I wanted but eh.

Jake

No no no no, eh, see the thing is.

Miley

You already have a date don't you.

Jake

It's not a real date ok, it's with my co-star ok, we just have to pretend that we're dating for the press, you know.. A kiss or too, but it doesn't mean anything.

Miley

Nothing you say ever means anything. You're the same jerk you were six months ago, only now, you're a jerk with a headache.

Jake

I don't have a... Oh no.

Miley

(Hits him with his shield) Oh yes!