Robby Ray Stewart quotes from Hannah Montana

Roxy

Okay, next. Not so fast, short stuff, you know the drill. Arms out. [Metal detector bleeps by her mouth] I knew it, what you hiding in there?

Braces?

Roxy

Yeah, likely story. Open!

Hannah

Daddy, you know I dislike Roxy. She is the most terrible bodyguard ever and ever since she got back from her Marine Corps reunion, she’s been a vicious...

Roxy

Say “Ah!”

Aaah.

Hannah

...monster in your face.

Robby Ray

Yeah, she’s horrible. Remind me to permanently fire her!

Hannah

You’re right.

Roxy

Alright, she’s clean. Doesn’t floss, but she is clean. Move along. Hey! But I got my eyes on you.

Lilly

Move and squat and arms and jump and clap and arms and twirl and twirlie again, twirlie again-oof! How was that?

Jackson

N-now why is that when I ended up on the couch like that you grounded me for a week?

Robby

It's because you jumped from the piano.

Jackson

[after putting the noodles into the drain] That, sir, was the sweet and sour sound of 50 dollars going in my pocket.

Robby

JACKSONNNN!!

Oliver

What's that sound?

Robby

JACKSONNNN!!

Robby

Miley, I know you don't want to share a tent with Amber and Ashley, but sometimes you've just got to make the best out of a bad situation.

Miley

Well in that case, I'm going to need a jar of honey, a thousand red ants, and the cover of nightfall. [takes a bite of chocolate cake]

Robby

Times like this, you remind me of your mom. [sits down at table] Look, Mile, I know those girls don't always treat you right, but sinking down to their level just isn't the answer.

Miley

How do we really know that until we try?

Miley

[watching herself doing Scratch Dancing] I can't watch this.

Robby

You don't have to watch it, I'm recording it. I never get tired of watching me being right.

Now switch

Hannah

You wish!

Jackson

[after the mouse they were chasing is discovered playing music in the piano] Good work Dad! Alright rodent, kiss your whiskers goodbye!!

Robby

Whoa son! You don't kill a mouse with that kind of talent!! (to the mouse) Linda, you know Achy Breaky Heart?

Miley

You are the meanest man I have ever met!

Robby

Why?

Miley

To keep a talent so incredibly awesome as this away from a world that needs you so desperately. It's just so selfish. I can't even look at you.

Robby

Hey, bud, you all right?

Miley

I'm sorry.

Robby

For what? For crying? Hey, if you don't want me to go, just say so.

Miley

Daddy, you gave up your whole life so I could have my dream. How can I stop you from having yours?

Robby

You kids are my dream. I didn't give up my career because I had to. I gave it up because I wanted to.

Miley

But I saw you up there tonight. You did so good and you looked so happy.

Robby

I was, but I was a lot happier when I saw you kids coming through the door.

Miley

So does that mean you don't want to do the tour anymore?

Robby

6 weeks away from you kids? I think I'd miss you too much. Also, I don’t want to let you kids suffer under Roxy’s cruelty anymore.

Miley

We'd miss you, too. Well, maybe you can just do the Hawaii part and take us. But please permanently fire that nasty Roxy!

Robby

Sweetheart, that was ten years ago. I bet my old manager doesn't even remember my name.

Marty

Robby Ray, open this door!

Miley

Oh, is that your old manager, Marty Klein?

Jackson

I believe it is.

Lilly

What a weird coin-ke-dink.

Robby

You guys are smooth.

Marty

Where is my honky-tonk heartthrob? There he is! Look at you, you look exactly the same! No, you look better! I hate you! I love you! Give me a hug!

Robby

Hey, mad man Marty. The one man party. I missed you old buddy.

Marty

Stop it, you'll make me cry.

Maddie

Oh, my gosh! You're Robby Ray! My mom thought you were dead. She's going to be so excited you're alive!

Robby

I'm kinda happy about that myself.

Miley

Dad, that's awesome. That is the best song you've ever written, I can't wait to record it. What's the bad news?

Lilly

Bad news? What are you talking about? It's a great song!

Robby

Thank you, Lilly! You know I've always liked her.

Miley

Don't change the subject. Every time there's bad news, he tries to soften it up with a great song. Best of Both Worlds- had to get braces. This is the Life- Jackson decided not to go to sleepaway camp. Pumpin' Up the Party- my goldfish died.

Oliver

When my goldfish died, my mom flushed it down the toilet. I'll never forget her comforting words: "Get over it, Oliver. It's a stinkin' fish."

Lilly

That explains so much.

Miley

Come on dad, just tell me. I can handle it.

Robby

[sighs; quickly] Your cousin Luanne's coming to visit, who wants pie? [Miley freezes]

Miley? Miley?

Oliver

What kind of pie?

Robby

Come on, Mile. Don't forget that wonderful, wonderful song that I just wrote you that you love so much.

Miley

And what has all this taught you?

Robby

That I should believe my kids when they say their cousins are evil.

Miley

And?

Robby

That I should always bring my cell phone when I leave the house in case my daughter gets tied up in her closet.

Miley

And?

Robby

I'm sorry.

Robby

C'mon, let's not forget who pulled you out of that well when you were six.

Miley

And let's not forget who pushed me in!

Robby

Like I've always told you, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

Stewart! [comes running into house] Stewart! You gotta help me! Those candy-grabbers are like piranha! They're coming by the busload. It's like someone put an ad in the paper.

Robby

The paper? Why, that's way too slow. If somebody wanted to get information out fast, they'd just run down Pacific Coast Highway with a bullhorn.

You didn't.

Robby

[picks up bullhorn] Oh yes I did. Gotcha. [turns to door] Okay kids, come on in, don't be shy.

Curse you, Stewart! [runs away]

Robby

I was teaching that to you; it's too late for me.