Jackson Stewart quotes from Hannah Montana

Miley

[With fork stuck in her tooth] I am not gonna crack a tooth! [her tooth flies, and lands on Jackson's nose]

Jackson

But you might lose a filling!

Miley

[Jackson is sitting with Robbie at the table, and they both have made small faces on their hands] Dad, I need to talk with you..

Jackson

[interrupts Miley] Excuse me but we are having a very important conversation right now. [Jackson shows his hand face and says] Please let Jackson go to the party, or I'll be his only friend, and that would be sad, and weird.

[Robbie looks at Jackson, then shows his hand face and says] No. [Robbie's hand face has a mullet and sideburns].

Jackson

You're the worst dad ever!

Hannah

What are you doing on the floor?

Jackson

Just dropped something

Hannah

If it's your dignity, you might wanna check the empty box of platform shoes!

Jackson

You really wanna go down that road?

Miley

Absolutely! [walks away…and comes back momentarily] What road? And exactly why wouldn't I wanna go down there?

Jackson

You know the road that starts if you tell dad this about me it ends with me telling dad everything I know about you.

Miley

[laughs] Okay, when you say "everything"?

Jackson

Everything, past, present, and future.

Miley

[in high tone] Future? [scared] What kind of brother are you?

Jackson

I guess you can consider me a traitor, much like Benedict Arnold in 1779, gave away West Point to [lifts his jeans] the British.

Hey, I'm just going for a quick jog, good luck on your test

Jackson

What do you mean by that?

Nothing, I'm just saying good luck!

Jackson

Oh, thanks

You got everything covered?

Jackson

What do you mean by that?

Wow, son, take it easy, I can see you're stressed, but everything's gonna be fine!

Jackson

I know

Well, uh

Bye [Robbie Ray leaves]

Jackson

It's so hot in here! [lifts his sleeve] No sweating, no smudging! [lifts his jeans] No sweating, no smudging!

Miley

Loosening up some cheating skiln, so you can write down more cheating answers, Floppy McCheaterPants?

Jackson

Like the FDIC, the FHA, the TVA, the SEC

Miley

Jackson! S-T-O-P!

Who wants the last achy-breaky, everybody-wakey, do a little shakey, pancakey?

Jackson

[Miley and Jackson both grab the plate] You already had 2, piggy! [snorts]

Miley

Oh, wow! I didn't know you could count that high! Now give it!

Jackson

I'm still a growing boy!

Miley

[scoffs] Not since the fourth grade you're not! Now hand it over!

Okay, your mom wanted kids, I wanted dogs…I still want dogs! Now work it out.

Miley

You're right, Jackson, I have a simple solution! [grabs the pancake, and licks it] Ha! [Jackson grabs the pancake and takes a bite out of it]

Jackson

HA!!! Sixteen years and still doing rookie mistakes!

Jackson

Ow, my head!

Miley

Your head? My tights! [Robbie Ray looks at Miley]

Jackson

Who are you guys?

Miley

[sarcastic] Very funny, Jackson!

Jackson

Who's Jackson?

Sweet Pea, I think he's serious!

Jackson

Who's sweet Pea? I don't remember anything!

Miley

Okay, let's not panic! [Robbie turns to her] It's not like he knew that much before.

Miley

I want my rotten, stinkin', pancake-stealin' brother back!

You miss him, huh?

Miley

More than I ever thought I would!

Jackson

Well, it sure took you long enough!

Miley

[confused] Jackson? [relieved, extends her arms for a hug and walks closer] Jackson! [angry] Jackson!

Jackson

[nods] Amnesia? What'd you think this was? An episode of Gilligan's Island?

Jackson, who was the first president of the United States?

Jackson

George Washington

And who am I?

Jackson

George Washington?

I'm your father.

Jackson

My father's George Washington?

Lilly

[yelling] No, your father's Robbie Ray Stewart!

Jackson

[to Robbie Ray] Why is she yelling at me, George?

Oy!

Jackson

Enjoy the reunion, dad!

Miley

Call us when you land, love you!

Jackson

[to Miley] He is gonna have so much fun seeing the band again!

Miley

And it is so cool that he trusts us to leave us alone for the first time....

Sucker!!! [they both laugh]

Miley

[enters the house with Jackson while singing and dancing] We're gonna party!

Jackson

[singing and dancing] And party harty!

Miley

[singing and dancing] With my friend Marty!

Jackson

[singing and dancing] You don't know a Marty!

Miley

[singing and dancing] But it rhymes with party!

Jackson

[singing and dancing] That's kinda smarty!

Hannah

[imitating Robbie Ray] Now, young man, I expect you home before curfew!

Jackson

[also imitating Robbie Ray] And bud, you call if you're gonna be late! [flips imaginary long hair]

[both laugh]

Jackson

Shall we, my curfewless compadre?

Hannah

We shall, my sneaky sibling! [holds onto Jackson's arm]

Surprise!

[both screams]

Jackson

[while hitting Robbie Ray's sandwich repeatedly] Moi! Moi! Moi! Moi! Moi!

I'd be a lot happier for you if you just hadn't crushed moi sandwich!

Old Rico

Hey-o! My aching back! Jackson, wake up!

Old Jackson

(wakes up) Miley Stewart's Hannah Montana! Oh no, I just gave out the secret!

Old Rico

What secret? She announced her eighth final farewell concert fifty years ago.

Old Jackson

Oh, that's right. I missed that one, because I was uh--I was, uh--(mutters, and falls asleep)

Old Rico

Jackson!

Old Jackson

(wakes up) MILEY STEWART'S HANNAH MONTANA!

Old Rico

You're the worst excuse for an employee I've ever had. You're fired!

Old Jackson

But--but what will I do? I never went to college.

Old Rico

That's your problem. (cackles weakly, but looks away while coughing)

(holding a surfboard and singing) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Lilly

Oh my gosh, you're in love with Jesse?

Miley

(pacing back and forth) I'm not in love with Jesse.

Lilly

And yet you saw him on Jake's body. Interesting.

Miley

Okay, fine. I'm a little bit attracted to him but I can control it because I'm not going to let this ruin what I have with Jake. I mean we have so much history. We have way too much history to throw it all away on some intense, brooding, passionate, (starts smiling and daydreaming) strong, yet sensitive guy-

Lilly

Miley.

Miley

Who has these warm brown eyes that move you like the moon and the tide. A dance as old as time itself.

Lilly

Well, as long as you can control it.

Miley

Control what? (snaps out of it) Oh boy.

Miley

What do you want?

Oliver

My girlfriend back.

Miley

(scoffs) You think you can just waltz in here with that "Lilly I'm sorry" look on your face and she's just gonna run into your arms like nothing ever-

Lilly

Olipop! (hugs Oliver)

Miley

Lucky guess.

Oliver

Lilly I'm so sorry I've been such a jerk. Yeah I got caught up in all of the attention but Miley's right. None of this means anything to me if I can't share it with you. Will you please forgive me?

Lilly

(points her finger at Miley)

Miley

Fine I guess we will.

Lilly

(makes a thumbs up)

Jackson

Can you just hold on for one second? Miles, can you read the serial number on this thing.

Miley

Yeah. I-M-A.

Jackson

(on the phone) I-M-A.

Miley

DORK.

Jackson

(on the phone) DORK. (turns to Miley)

Miley

Finally. You finally admit it.