Jackson Stewart quotes from Hannah Montana

Miley

[while catching her breath] Dad's not going anywhere for a while.

Jackson

How do you know?

Miley

While he was on the pay phone... [brings a gadget out] I pulled this out of his car. I don't know what it is, but...

Somebody stole my distributor cap!

Miley

But I'm guessing it's a distributor cap.

Don't hurt my heart, my itchy twitchy heart, no...herky jerky? No...

Jackson

You might wanna try 'Achy breaky'!

Jackson

[in German interrogator-like voice] You vill tell me vhat I vant to know! The choice is vether you vill tell me before ze pain, or AFTER! Now vere is ze ball?!

Oliver

Uh- wh- what ball? [gives Lily a thumbs up]

Jackson

[in a whiny voice] The Joey Vitolo my dad gave me for my 13th birthday! [switches back to his prior voice] Zat ball!

Lilly

[lying] I don't know what you're talking about!

Jackson

Fine. Perhaps a trip to ze closet vill jog your memory.

Lilly

[in tough voice] You'll never to get me to squeal!

Jackson

Your right, you're strong but he is weak! [grabs Oliver]

Lilly

Oliver, don't let him break you!

Oliver

It's okay, it's just a closet—[sees closet] WHAT IS THAT?! [Jackson pushes him inside] Hu...help me... [Jackson pulls open closet] She's at... Vitolo's. [faints]

Jackson

There was a wasp!

Robby

[grabs remains of Beary and begins to swing it around the air] Where!?

Miley

Daddy!!

(praying) Jackson's plan is gonna work, Jackson's plan is gonna work...

Jackson

Great news! My plan worked!

You're lying.

Jackson

How did you know?

Your lips are moving!

Uncle Earl

What was I thinking, tryin' to be a rock star? I was born a loser, I'm always gonna be a loser, I'm the most embarrassing dang doofus in this whole family—worse than Unlucky Bucky or Wacky Wilbur, or even Jackson!

Jackson

(dressed as Ozzy Osbourne) Hey!!!

Uncle Earl

Good grief, boy, look what you're wearin'!!

Happy Birthday Bobby!

Jackson

It's Robby.

Happy Birthday Robby!

Miley

Wow. He really is upset.

[in unison] What did you do? Me?! Yes you. Stop that!

Jackson

It was probably your phone bill.

Miley

Was not!.... Well, it's possible.

Jackson

I'm just barking my way to the bank! Hey, maybe next week, I can moooo for moolah.

Rico

Let's just see where barking takes us.

[to Jackson's bark] You calling my girlfriend a dog?!

Jackson

Woof.

That does it! You're dog-meat!

Jackson

[frightened] Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Wooof? Yauuuuugggghhhh! [jumps off a boardwalk plank into the sand below and the customer pile-drives after him off the same plank, and presumebly beats Jackson up. Hold on, he actually did that!]

Jackson

[Miley is asking Jackson if he feels the same way for Lilly] Huh!

Miley

Huh, what?

Jackson

I'm starting to think about Lilly that way.

Miley

No, no, wrong way, go back.

Jackson

No, no, she's cute, she's smart, she's not a kid anymore. Jackson likey!

Miley

And Miley pukey!

Jackson

Hey dad, look at this, I just found a picture of me when i was six months old, sweet, cuddly, and so so happy, and then you ruined it by having that little devil child.

You gotta learn to laugh at life's little difficulties, [door bell rings] Oh, and speaking of little difficulties, we have a house guest.

Rico

Hello roomies.

Jackson

[exclaims] No no no no, why why why why, [points at Rico] YOU YOU YOU YOU!

Jackson

[Rico is shaving his armpits, Robbie is going out while Jackson says] Please please take me with you, don't leave me alone with, [looks at Rico and says] that!

Rico

I got a big swim meet this weekend, you won't believe the difference it makes in the butterfly, [does the butterfly and shows his armpits] Yeah.

Sorry son, every man for himself.

Jackson

Ya know what the best part about having you as a sister is?

Miley

No, what?

Jackson

I was hoping you could tell me, 'cause I got nothing!

Miley

So what? You had to drive me here, just be happy we finally got you a chair where your feet touch the ground!