Jackson Stewart quotes from Hannah Montana

Jackson

(in an elderly voice after seeing Robbie Ray, Dewey and Norma rapping) You kids and your crazy music. I'll never understand it.

Jackson

Goodbye stairs.

Robby

[holding up fish] Look at the size of this bad boy! Put up quite a battle, too. It was him! Then it was me! Then it was him! Then it was me!

Jackson

Dad, you got him at the fish mart.

Robby

Yeah, but you should have seen the size of the lady who tried to take him from me. It was her! Then it was…

Jackson

Alright, alright Dad, I get it.

Robby

So, what’s it going to be, Bucky? Pan fried or Barbeque?

Jackson

Dad, remember what we said about naming the fish?

Robby

What? [sticks fish in Jackson’s face]

Jackson

It makes him a little harder to eat.

Jackson

Let me paint you a picture. [grabs an apple and an orange] Hi, I'm Miley Stewart. (in a high, squeaky voice) And I'm her brother Jackson. [deepens voice and waves the apple] We snuck out to a movie last night where we saw you on a date with our father. Why are we telling you this? Out of an insane desire to get caught & grounded for the rest of our natural lives!

Miley

[rolls her eyes and stalls for time] Why do you always get to be the apple?

Miley

I can't! I'm from Tennessee. We don't do that.

Lilly

Well you're in California now, and we do do that.

Lilly

What?

Jackson

You said "do do"!

Miley

Grow up!

Jackson

You're the one that can't ask the guy out.

Miley

He's not just a guy, he's a ninth grader. I can't just put Eighth grade moves on him.

Lilly

Good point. And besides, he probably doesn't even know you're alive. You're like some dried up insect on the windshield of his life. Not even in the center. You're way off to the side where the wipers don't reach. [making windshield wiper movements] squeak, squeak, squeak, splat. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak....

Miley

Lilly.

Lilly

What?

Miley

This is officially the worst peptalk ever.

Robby

Hello...Hold on. Miles, it's for you.

Miley

I can't talk to anyone right now. Could you just make something up?

Robby

Sorry Josh, she's in the bathroom. It could be a while.

Miley

No!

Robby

Hold on, sounds like she's finishing up.

Miley

Give me that phone. Hi. This is Miley.

Jackson

"It could be a while." You, sir, do not know how good you are.

Robby

Next time, I'm letting the machine pick up. You realize how much easier life was when she believed boys had cooties?

Lilly

Move and squat and arms and jump and clap and arms and twirl and twirlie again, twirlie again-oof! How was that?

Jackson

N-now why is that when I ended up on the couch like that you grounded me for a week?

Robby

It's because you jumped from the piano.

Oliver

Hey, uh, Jackson, where's Miley?

Jackson

Don't know.

Oliver

When's she gonna be back?

Jackson

Don't care.

Oliver

Could you tell her I stopped by?

Jackson

Don't count on it.

Jackson

Why does this always happen to me?

Oliver

I was kind of thinking the same thing.

Oliver

Hey, Jackson, Miley left her head at practice. Get it? Her head.

Jackson

Don't know.

Oliver

But I didn't ask that.

Jackson

Don't care.

Oliver

Will you stop?

Jackson

Don't count on it.

Jackson

[after putting the noodles into the drain] That, sir, was the sweet and sour sound of 50 dollars going in my pocket.

Robby

JACKSONNNN!!

Oliver

What's that sound?

Robby

JACKSONNNN!!

Jackson

[after the mouse they were chasing is discovered playing music in the piano] Good work Dad! Alright rodent, kiss your whiskers goodbye!!

Robby

Whoa son! You don't kill a mouse with that kind of talent!! (to the mouse) Linda, you know Achy Breaky Heart?

Roxy

You're angry, aren't you?

Jackson

Yeah! You are a nasty woman!!!!!

Roxy

That yoga didn't work for you, did it?

Jackson

[angrily] No!

Robby

Sweetheart, that was ten years ago. I bet my old manager doesn't even remember my name.

Marty

Robby Ray, open this door!

Miley

Oh, is that your old manager, Marty Klein?

Jackson

I believe it is.

Lilly

What a weird coin-ke-dink.

Robby

You guys are smooth.

Marty

Where is my honky-tonk heartthrob? There he is! Look at you, you look exactly the same! No, you look better! I hate you! I love you! Give me a hug!

Robby

Hey, mad man Marty. The one man party. I missed you old buddy.

Marty

Stop it, you'll make me cry.

Jackson

You guys, you gotta check this out! [holds up videotape] It's labeled "Robby Palooza."

Miley

Oh! Dad had his own Palooza.

Lilly

My dad had his own calculator.