TV show quotes
There's an old saying: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And, personally, I never liked that saying. No, I thought it should go: If it's workin' alright, just say goodnight. Huh, see, 'cause, well, for starters, it rhymes. And... well, anyway, who would I talk to about changing that?
Ah, network testing. What could be more fun than this? Oh, I know. Who wants to kick me in the face?
Ooh. [Raises hand] Heh heh. Oh, I'm sorry, was that a rhetorical question?
Well, there's your problem there. In fact, you got two problems. And they're both between his legs.
Eh, what? They look fine to me, blah. I wish mine looked that healthy. Mine hang so low, I need a cold shower before I can get on an escalator, blah.
You don't have the guts. Drop it.
You drop it.
Ladies, ladies. Let's just cool out. Now let's all agree that it'd be nice to have a penis. But the sad truth is, we don't. And some of us probably never will.
Oh. Hi. I, uh, I must've, uh, dozed off.
Right next to the killer dog, no less.
Oh, aren't they cute.
Well. Yeah. You know, uh, he does seem much calmer, doesn't he? I guess we patched things up.
Oh my God. Oh my God. James, what did he do to my dog?! Make it stop!
Hey, what happened?
Oh, Jimmy. Come on--what do you want me to say, man? You want me to say that Jack came over here, neutered the pooch and replaced his kabangers with Sammy Davis, Jr.'s eyes? Is that what you want me to say?
He attacked me.
You must have been taunting him!
Oh, you know, you should be a rape counselor.
My fur is aching.
I am going to violate you, bunny.
I am a man of mystery.
Okay, you're apologizing to him?
Yeah, well, look--
He castrated my dog!
You castrated my best friend.
Hey, what do humans see in these things, anyway? If I wanted someone to lick my face and poop on my lawn, I'd get back together with Farrah Fawcett.
Jimmy, come on, this is paintball! We practiced for a month! We devised intricate battle plans! I even had myself Scotchguarded!
Oh my God! Oh my God! Stop! Sit! Play dead! Play paralyzed! Play anything! Just play it away from me!
While the paintball is designed to not break the skin, oh, they do break the skin. They cause pain, welts, and -- if'n you're not wearing your goggles -- a little something I call "painteye." I.e., blindness.
Did he just say, "blindness."
Yeah, blah. He also said, "if'n."
We're going to Greg's place. He needs our help.
Why, what's wrong, blah?
There's no time to explain.
Wait a minute. There's plenty of time to explain, blah. Greg's place is, like, 40 minutes away.
Oh, Chelsea wants. Look at you, man. You're on a shorter leash than her stupid dog. You know, we used to hang out. We used to play Nintendo. We used to melt stuff.
Oh, Greg, that's so cute. That you're jealous. I mean, don't worry. It's perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy. Just a tad bit gay.
Oh, yeah. Says the guy with the sweater tied around his shirt.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Greg the Bunny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
